Couples bedroom games are the number one thing people come to Love Hope Adventure to find. If you have printed out and played the bedroom games on my site, then you are sure to love this game called All Night Love Affair.
You can find out more about All Night Love Affair over at Married Dance. Feel free to use my affiliate link below or go to the site directly. If you want to receive 10% off of your purchase, use my coupon code LOVE at check out.
I know what you are thinking- I have way more than one thing I need to work on in my marriage. If you sat down and wrote out the number of problems in your marriage, it might be completely overwhelming to you.
Over the last few weeks, I’ve received emails from readers that are truly hurting in their marriages and are struggling with a number of issues.
It’s like the problems just seem to compound over the course of time. A problem is left unresolved and it festers. You can’t get your spouse to understand where you are coming from or what you need from them. Then the resentment sets in.
They didn’t fix the problem you needed them to and now you resent them for it.
As the resentment grows, you have less and less patience for things. Maybe you have always been frustrated that they never clean up the office or put the dishes in the sink when you want them on the counter. It’s a lot easier to overlook those annoyances when you are generally happy with them.
The problem comes in when you are not generally happy with your spouse. You’ve allowed resentment to fill your heart. Everything they do is bothersome to you, which leads to a lot of fighting and hurt feelings; in turn, leading to more fighting and more hurt feelings.
There is no way for you to fix all of the problems in your marriage today.
What you can do, is commit to changing one thing and sticking with it. What do I mean by this? Well, I’ll tell you what I don’t mean. What I don’t mean is that you go to your spouse and try to force them to change something. You can’t.
If you want something to change in your marriage, then you have to take a step to make the change you need to make, even if it is not reciprocated by your spouse. I hear you, “It’s not fair that I have to be the one to make the change. They did ______”.
Oh- I know it’s not fair. Life is not fair. You don’t want life to be fair my friend.
If life was fair, God wouldn’t have sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins so that we can have a relationship with Him. That’s the biggest injustice that has ever taken place, and let me tell you something, I’m thankful.
I don’t know what changes you need to make in your behavior and mindset. This is where you will need to take a look internally.
Maybe you need to-
Overlook something they do that annoys you.
Be nice to them, even during a fight.
Stop doing the thing that you know hurts them.
Forgive them of something.
Change your negative attitude about them into a positive one.
Be physically affectionate, even when you don’t feel like it.
Pick one thing. Just one.
Then, do it no matter what. It doesn’t matter if your spouse makes any changes or efforts. You do what you know is right, no matter the circumstances.
I’m not going to pretend that it isn’t hard to make a change, especially if your spouse isn’t doing what you think they should do. It’s really easy to think that you are the one doing all of the work and they aren’t doing anything. Truthfully, you have no idea what is going on in their heart.
Instead of worrying about all the things they are not doing, just worry about yourself and what you are not doing. Figure out how you can more like Christ everyday.
In your efforts to make changes, I encourage you to pray for a heart change in yourself. Don’t allow yourself to resent your spouse more, because you are making changes and you think they are not. Pray that God will humble you.
It can be so hard finding the balance in life between raising your kids, working, and all of your other responsibilities. I know firsthand how much work it can take to strike that balance. Some days, I do a really great job of it, and others, I don’t.
Today, I’m talking more about how I aim to keep balance in my life over at Kelly Cox at Home. Join me today over there.
Back in January, Sheila at To Love Honor and Vacuum wrote a post regarding the things that concern her about the purity movement. I’ll admit, I was taken back by the things that she has seen taught in the purity culture. In the circles I ran in, these concepts were not taught.
When Paul and Lori Byerly came to visit a few weeks ago, they talked about how the purity movement has wrecked so many marriages. Women are struggling to have sex because of a physical condition they have developed from the things they were taught. Again- what a shock!
I Made a Commitment During a True Love Waits Retreat
I was part of the purity movement and a thing called True Love Waits was a big thing on the scene. I went on a True Love Waits retreat, led by the youth pastor that ended up doing my wedding. He and the other adults took us away for the weekend and had session after session talking with us about sex.
Everything that I learned there were the same concepts that my parents had been telling me at home for years. You see- we didn’t have “the talk”- we had an ongoing conversation my entire life.
During the retreat, we were given the chance to make a commitment to purity in our single lives. This meant that we would abstain from sex until our wedding day.
When we had our report back night, our youth pastor surprised us with a ring ceremony. Rings were given to those that made the commitment. Adults and parents gave them the rings in front of our church so that we could make our commitment public.
Physical Intimacy Is Beneficial in The Right Context
Sex in the right context is wonderful and amazing. However, sex in the wrong context is destructive and damaging.
Think about it like this-
Fire in my fireplace is a good thing, right? I can heat my house with it, light the room with a lovely glow, or roast marshmallows and cook food. Fire in the right context is beneficial and life giving.
Now let me give you another scenario- what if I took the fire out of my fireplace and put it on my couch? That would not be life giving would it? Fire on my couch would destroy my home and possibly take my life.
Sex is the same way. When sex is done inside of marriage the way God intended it is beautiful, bonding, and beneficial. Outside of marriage, it destroys and damages.
Purity Doesn’t End When You Get Married
I was also taught that sexual purity doesn’t end when you get married. Talk about stopping a horny teenager in their tracts. It was explained to us that sexual purity means honoring God with your body and mind. Our charges to be sexually pure doesn’t go away when we are married.
Temptations Don’t Go Away
Whether you are married or not, you are subject to sexual temptations. Just because you are married and having sex doesn’t mean you won’t find yourself lusting after someone else. It also doesn’t mean that you won’t end up putting yourself in some dangerous situations with someone of the opposite sex.
We Didn’t Kiss Dating Goodbye- But We Stopped Kissing
Of course, Josh Harris’ book, I Kissed Dating Goodbye, was a huge seller at the time. Austin and I had been dating for a few years before we read the book. Courtship wasn’t in the realm of possibility for Austin and I since we had been dating for 2 years.
We met a couple that radically challenged us, though. They were our age and had read the book by Josh. They had been sexually active with each other, and decided to change their relationship to one of purity. They stopped kissing, going out along, and other things.
Those two were a huge encouragement to us and a big reason that we decided kissing needed to go. We wanted to keep our commitments to each other to sexual purity.
Instead of Asking- How Far is Too Far- We Changed the Question
Austin and I had been dating for 2 years already and we were crossing our lines of how far was too far. Instead of asking, “how far is too far?”, we changed the question to, “How can we honor God with our relationship?”. That is a question we continue to ask ourselves today.
We dated for another 3 ½ years before we got married and our wedding day was the first time we had kissed in that number of years. It was the best decision we ever made, because it forced us to build good communication skills.
True Love Waited
On our wedding day, we gave one another the rings we wore to signify our commitment to purity in our singleness and put on new rings to signify our commitment to purity in our married life.
If you were to look at the inscription on the inside of our wedding bands, you would find the words, “True Love Waited”. We stopped all of our physical affection so that we had a better chance of staying pure in our single lives. It wasn’t easy, but we waited until we got married to awaken our sexual desires for one another.
Not everyone has this same story, but here’s the thing, sexual purity is never ending. Every day, you should ask the question, “How can I honor God with my body and mind?”.
If you want to hear me talk about this subject, check out this video I shot.
In a few weeks, I will celebrate my 13th wedding anniversary. Austin and I put together a new bedroom game in honor of the day. This anniversary edition gives you a series of sexy questions to ask one another. Some of the cards also have actions you and your spouse can act out.
Couples Free Printable Bedroom Game
These free printable dares and questions are available to you when you sign up for my newsletter. All you need to do is visit the newsletter page and sign up for the spicy list. Once you confirm your email, I’ll send you the link to my printable library.
Resentment in marriage is going to happen, because you and your spouse will not always see eye to eye. More often then not, your husband or wife does something that hurts you without meaning to. That doesn’t mean the pain isn’t real and doesn’t have to be worked through.
If you are struggling with this, these are some things you can do to get rid of resentment in marriage.
Understand why you feel the resentment in marriage
This might seem like a no duh situation, but it can be difficult to understand why their actions are bothering you. You know you are hurt by what they are doing, but you might not fully understand why.
Do some soul searching so that you understand yourself fully. Maybe their actions bring up past hurts that you haven’t worked through.
My mom always suggested that I talk through issues I have with a particular person with someone else ahead of time. Talk to a trusted friend about the resentment you feel. They may say things that cause you to gain some perspective. Know that you need someone who will look at it fairly.
Share your feelings with your spouse
You will have better luck with your spouse if you go to them and share with them that you have a problem and you need them to help you with it, verses going to them and demanding they make changes. Let them know you feel resentful when they do the offending action. Then ask them to help you solve this problem, because you don’t want to resent them.
Whether they are sorry or not for their actions you need to forgive them. Refusing to forgive only causes the resentful feelings to grow inside of you.
Often times, you will find that your spouse didn’t mean to hurt you. When you tell them they have hurt you, they may just dismiss it, because they don’t understand your frustrations. While that is the wrong way to handle it on their part, it doesn’t mean they do not love you. It also doesn’t mean you can’t find a solution to the problem.
Figure out how to stop feeling resentful
It is not your spouse’s job to keep you from feeling resentful. You have to make the necessary changes to let go of the resentment you feel about a behavior or situation, and then keep from feeling that way in the future.
For example, if you feel resentment that you spouse doesn’t buy you things you like on your birthday, then you need to make some changes. You can decided that you will give them a list telling them exactly what you want, or you can go buy it yourself, or something else.
It might not seem fair that you are the one that has to make the changes so that you can stop feeling the resentment. Here’s the thing- resentment destroys you- not them. Fair or not, if you want to be emotionally healthy, you have to do what it takes to stop feeling resentment about the things your spouse is or isn’t doing.
I know it is going to take weeks, months, even years to work through the resentment you feel towards them, but you can get through it and be a healthier couple.
I am so excited to share with you 4 free printable adult coloring pages that Austin put together for me. I know that a lot of people are really enjoying adult coloring sheets, because it gives you the ability to just relax. It is also something you can do with your kids.
I thought it would be fun to put together marriage quotes will inspire you.
Free Printable Adult Coloring Pages
In addition to the 4 color sheets, we colored in two of the marriage quotes so that you can print them off in full color if you would like.
Check out what you will get in the pack.
Sign up for my newsletter and I’ll email you the free adult coloring sheets as well as two of my other printables.
I knew I wanted to start a blog, but didn’t know what to focus on. When I took a look around the blogosphere, it seemed as though there were plenty of great men and women talking about things that I was passionate about. It was really hard to see myself excelling in any focus, because everyone else was seemingly doing it better than I ever could.
My Biggest Blog Influence
I’ve written on Money Saving Mom a few times, as well as on my own blog that Crystal has made a huge impact on my life. For 7 years, Money Saving Mom was the only blog I read. It has been a blessing to me how much she has poured into her readers, and I knew I wanted to do the same thing for others.
Crystal has worked so hard over the years and has continually spoken truth into my life as well as given me practical advice in so many areas. I felt that if she could have that impact on others, didn’t I owe it to my potential audience to figure out what I would be most effective at? That is why I started my journey on developing a focus.
How I Decided What My Blog Should Be About
I had been freelance blog writing for clients for about a year, when I finally had the courage to start the process of building my own blog. There were a lot of hurdles I had to overcome to get it off the ground, but the biggest one was determining what I could write about and stay passionate over.
Prayed About It
Over the course of a few weeks, I asked God to show me what I was passionate about and how I could serve Him through my website. All of the success that I’ve had as a write I attribute to Him. By praying about the focus, I believe God stirred my heart and brought things to my mind that I had never thought about before.
Wrote Blog Posts For Others
Like I said, I had been freelance writing for about a year. When I was feeling ready to create my own site, I started paying attention to the topics I was writing for others. Some of the things I write about is for the sake of a paycheck, but other things I write about bring life to me as a person.
For a few weeks, I really paid attention to how I felt when writing about different things. If you are not able pick up freelancing gigs like I have, then pick several different topics and start writing about them. Pay attention to the content that feels like a chore and what makes your heart sing.
Discussed it With My Husband
My husband had been after me for a number of years to start a blog, because he knew I have always wanted to be a writer. He helped me to think through the focuses I was considering. He knows me better than anyone and can tell when something has really captured my heart. Our discussions helped me to solidify my topic.
Remembered What I’ve Always Felt Passionate About
As a teenager, I went to a True Love Waits retreat. This was the single most life changing experience I had while in youth ministry. The adults poured into us and talked to us about how great sex is and the benefits of waiting until marriage. It solidified everything my parents had always told me about this amazing gift that God gave us.
From that moment, I developed a deep passion to share that message with youth and older singles. As a result, I planned and hosted more than one abstinence retreat. Also, I was asked to talk about this topic at a few different youth retreats over the years as well as during regular Bible study.
For the last few years, I’ve had the opportunity to speak to women’s groups about marriage and intimacy. Not only that, I was a discussion group leader for two years and had the ability to counsel with women that were younger than me.
By asking God to show me what my biggest passions are, paying attention to what gives me life, talking about it with my husband, and looking back over the opportunities God has given me in ministry, I developed my blog topic. It was a long process and took a few months for me to develop my focus.
The World Needs Your Story
The biggest take away that I received from Crystal’s book, Money-Making Mom: How Every Woman Can Earn More and Make a Difference, is that the world needs your story. She wrote many valuable things in her book, as well as practical tips on how to start your own business. However, I will forever remember how much those words impacted me as a blogger that was just starting out.
Maybe you are looking around right now and thinking that you don’t have anything of value to add to the world. I side with Crystal on this one, because it’s true, the world does need your story. You have something to say and there is an audience waiting to hear it.
I was so honored to speak on the Delight Your Marriage podcast hosted by Belah Rose. She is a wonderful lady that is dedicated to helping wives to feel more sexually engaged with their husband. The last time I was on her show, we talked about how to initiate sex and she wanted me to come back on and talk more about it.
Be sure to check out today’s episode where I talk about initiating. She also shares a lot about male arousal that you won’t want to miss.