Although I’ve been married for 15 years, I only recently had some marriage revelations a few years ago. You can learn quite a bit about a person when you spend that much time with them. You also learn a lot about them that you didn’t know before you got married.
If we’re all honest with ourselves, we have no idea what we’re doing in this thing called marriage. When we get married, we try the best we can and hope everything turns out okay. But, it can be more than just okay! I want to share 10 bits of marriage advice that I wish I figured out earlier in marriage.
1. You Are A Team
When you live together you learn a lot about one another. Sometimes things happen in life that cause you to disagree and fight against one another. Remember, you are a team and working together is a win for your marriage. I wish I made the decision early on to keep this mindset.
2. Make Time to Initiate Sex
Early on in our marriage, I rarely let my husband know I wanted sex. I basically waited for him to make the move. Now, several year later, I understand the importance of both us making time to get excited about making love.
3. Sex Isn’t Just About Making Babies
When you both feel you’re ready to have children, it’s easy to make every moment all about making babies. Although it’s a special time for both of you, this mindset is a quick way to take the fun out of making love.
4. Put Some Distance Between You and the In-Laws
This is one I actually did right! We never lived near either set of parents. This made it easier to avoid drama or unannounced visits.
5. Don’t Let Anger Consume You
I don’t find it difficult to forgive so I did not think holding onto anger would be an issue. Through the course of our marriage, we both did some things that resulted in hurt feelings. I struggled with some anger and held grudges that I shouldn’t have.
6. Consider Your Spouse’s Thoughts
It’s easy to think that your spouse is intentionally causing you some pain. But the real issue is that you may have some things you need to work through. Sit down and talk it out. Your spouse may not realize they did something to offend you.
7. Indulge Each Other’s Daydreams
Even if you’re not a daydreamer, it’s a good idea to encourage your spouse if they enjoy doing that. While it may sound unrealistic to you, it’s important not to squash their hopes and dreams.
8. Flirt With Each Other
When we were first dating, I made googly eyes at my husband quite often. When we got married, I didn’t do it anymore. Years later, I realized that it’s so important to find little ways to flirt.
9. Tackle Finances Together
I handled the finances for several years after we got married. My husband didn’t have a desire to do any of it. Now, we both take part in the responsibility and it’s made us aware of how we budget and save.
10. Say Thank You Every Day
It’s easier to go about your day and settle in your routine without thinking about it. Saying two simple words makes a huge difference in your relationship. It’s encouraging to both of you and strengthens your relationship.
These are 10 of the most important pieces of marriage advice that I wish I knew before I got married. They’re simple things that strengthen your marriage and bring you closer together.