12 Days of Christmas- 10 Conversation Starters

12 Days of Christmas 10 Conversation Starters

Welcome back to the 12 Days of Christmas. Only a few more days to go and the wonderful time I’ve had encouraging you will come to a close.


Today, I want to give you 10 questions that you can ask your spouse. These questions are to help you engage in great conversations and become closer to one another.

1. How Can I Be a Better Lover For You?

It is so important to ask your spouse on occasion if you are meeting their sexual needs. Everyone deserves to have a great sex life. Ask your significant other what you can do to meet their physical needs better.

2. What’s the Best Thing That Happened to You Today?

Most of the time, your spouse walks in the door and you ask them how their day was. Maybe they give you the head nod and a simple, “It was good”. Get them talking with this question.

3. Where do You Want to Go on Our Next Vacation?

It is getting to that time of year when you will start looking ahead to summer vacation time. If you haven’t already decided where you plan to go, then take time to talk about it.

4. If You Could Do One Thing With Me Right Now, What Would it Be?

Here is a great way to start a potentially romantic conversation. Even if it doesn’t go the obvious direction, it can be a lot of fun to have this talk.

5. What Do You Hope to Accomplish This Year?

Now that it is the New Year, most of us have thought about the coming months at least a little. Ask your spouse what they hope to accomplish this year. After you know their goals, ask if there are ways you can help them to keep their goals.

6. What Have You Been Reading In The Bible?

It is a good idea to talk with your spouse about the things you have been learning in the Bible. You can really connect and bond over the discussions that take place.

7. What is Your Favorite Thing to Do When We Are on A Date?

Find out what your spouse’s favorite thing is about dating you. It might help you to plan better dates in the future.

8. If You Could Open a Store, What Would You Sell?

Most of us daydream on occasion about doing something different with our lives from what we are doing currently. It can be a lot of fun to talk about what if scenarios.

9. What Are Two Reasons That You Married Me?

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It would be hard for me to narrow down my reasons for marrying my husband to two, but that is a good starting place for some people. Don’t be afraid to list more!

10. If We Could Fund a Non-Profit Organization, What Would it Be?

Giving back to the world around you is a very bonding thing to do as a couple and family. Even though you can’t fund a non-profit organization solely, you can have the conversation and then look for an organization you can give to regularly.

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2 Responses

  1. Hi Keelie! I wrote a long comment today and then my device froze. Grrr! So I’m gonna try again…
    I thought I’d read on here about asking your spouse “what can I do to be a better wife in 2016?” But I can’t find the post so I’m commenting here. Anyhow… I did ask my husband and he said “communicate more.” Huh? A guy that wants more communication? Sometimes I really think he and I are backwards.

    Anyhow, I’ve always been the initiator sexually. When I started reading marriage blogs a few years ago, I realized this was really abnormal. Most wives have husbands that can’t keep their hands to themselves and beg them for sex. I was sad to learn I had been such a fool. So I stopped. My husband was going through a rough patch, and so his lack of desire coupled with what I was reading showed me that I was far uglier and repulsive to him than I ever knew. (Now he says that is not true at all, that he loves me and thinks I’m beautiful, blah, blah…. But his lack of interest told me the truth.)

    Okay so fast forward to now, and things in our marriage are starting to improve. We still do not have sex anywhere near as often as I’d like. He seems to be satisfied with once a week. I wish I wasn’t so attracted to him, or that he was more attracted to me, but that’s beside the point. So the other morning he wakes me up and gives me a hug, and I decide to go for it, and I start kissing him back. I decide to get over my fear, be vulnerable again, and I sent him every signal, I could not have been more obvious. (How this extremely intelligent man can be hit in the face with hints galore and miss every one is beyond me. It’s actually mind boggling.) So I’m nuzzling up to him and he stands up and says “I’m going to get coffee. Would you like coffee?” OUCH! Shot down AGAIN! HARSH!!
    So I rolled over, and while he was gone and I was telling myself how stupid I was, and how repulsive I must be to him, and promising myself never to initiate again, and I really should just wear a shirt that says “REJECT” or “TOO UGLY TO LOVE”, I am generally feeling sorry for myself. But it was time to get up for church so I got up and got ready.
    Well, later that day I remembered his comment about “communicating more.” So I went ahead and told him “I felt really rejected this morning and it hurt.” And he’s all like “what are you talking about?” And I said “when I was coming on to you and you shot me down and went to get coffee.” And he says “you didn’t come on to me. I tried coming on to you and you weren’t interested.” I was like “that is so NOT true! I came on to you and you wanted no parts of me.” Now I’m getting mad because I think he’s just saying whatever to try to get out of the fact that he has no interest in me. Why does he do this? What is so wrong with me that I am the one woman on earth who has to constantly pursue her husband? I just wish once, I could know what it’s like to actually have someone desire you. (The husband I love, I mean.) And if he’s telling the truth, how can he be so completely clueless that I was the one coming on to him? And he should know by now that I don’t turn him down, so where’d he get that wrong idea? My husband is no dummy, he is very smart and excellent at reading people. All except me, apparently. So that’s why I don’t believe he misses hints or misunderstands, I think he just uses that as an excuse to reject me. And if I’m so repulsive to him, why does he act like he cares if my feelings get hurt? It’s SO FRUSTRATING!
    Anyhow, thanks for listening. At least I communicated with him like he asked. I guess that’s one positive.

    1. Oh man…what a tough spot you are in! Here is the post you were asking about for sexual resolutions or how to be a better lover. https://lovehopeadventure.com/love-2/make-goals-to-be-a-better-lover-for-your-spouse/

      As far as you being a higher drive wife…sweety you are not alone. Check out J over at Hot Holy Humorous. http://hotholyhumorous.com/ She writes as a woman who’s the higher drive.

      It is sooooo hard to be rejected in any way by our spouse, whether sexual or otherwise. I know how hard it is on you.

      As far as your husband is concerned, I’m not there, so I can’t possibly make a judgement call. I will say that unless you say the words, “I want to have sex right this minute”, then he very well may be misinterpreting what you want from him. I remember the times I would put the moves on Austin and he wasn’t sure if I was or not. Both of us decided that instead of trying to give each other the signal…we would just say the words, “let’s have sex”. I found that to really help us.

      Don’t give up hope on your sex life or your husband. It takes years and years and years to build a great sex life….

      I would encourage you to continue to communicating with him. Go slow, and don’t attack. Just keep sharing your feelings with him. It is going to take a long time, years even, for him to understand what you need sexually. The other thing is, your sexual needs will change, and so will his.

      You aren’t alone in this. There are many couples out there dealing with the same issues as you. Keep working at it, don’t give up hope.

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