Austin and I have been married for 14 years, and we are still re-negotiating different things in our lives. I find that a big problem in marriage is having the right conversations ahead of time to avoid fighting later on.
You would think that after being together for such a long period of time, you wouldn’t have to have certain conversations. But, you’d be surprised what you have to talk about.
1. Dealing With B.O.
Having sex with your spouse means you need to do extra hygiene. When you are having sex with someone or close to their body, you are going to breathe in their scent. The question is, will it be a good scent or a bad one.
Here’s the things, you might smell bad and not even know it. You and your spouse should be open enough with each other that you can tell the other one when they need a mint…or a shower…or deodorant…
When you are first married, it’s really embarrassing to be told you need to freshen up. After you’ve been married for over a decade, it’s a lot easier to deal with.
2. How to Raise the Kids- At Every Stage
I’ve found that every stage of our kids’ lives, we are having to figure out how to parent all over again. Not only are we figuring out our own ideas of how to raise tweens and teenagers, we are figuring out what the other thinks is right.
Until now, our kids haven’t been able to be left alone. It’s been pretty easy deciding what they can and can’t do. But, they are starting to get to the point where they can stay at home alone, or go to friend’s houses without us there. We are entering a whole new realm.
3. Changing Roles In The Household
Over the years, your contributions to the house are going to change. It could be that you started off the marriage with one person being the main income provider while the other stayed at home. The chore list will have to be divided differently if both individuals have a job.
When we first got married, Austin was in school full time and worked part-time. I worked a full-time job and a part-time job. Eventually, I came home to take care of the kids, and Austin took on the extra work. Now, we both work full time. Our responsibilities are ever changing around the house.
Never Assume You Know What Your Spouse Will Say
Never think that you fully know your spouse. You might have an idea of what they may say when you ask them something, but don’t assume. Austin and I are not the same people we married- thank you, Jesus. The answer we have given to these conversations has changed over the years. That is why we have to keep having them.
You should expect to re-negotiate things in your marriage on a regular basis. That’s why we suggest you do a regular check up with your spouse to figure out if you are still on the same page.