When is the last time you and your spouse got really passionate about love making? Don’t get me wrong here, there is nothing wrong with comfortable, predictable sex. However, a steady diet of that in your marriage is going to cause things to go stale.
If it has been a while, then I have a few things you can try tonight to spice things up a bit.
What Does it Mean to Spice Things Up In The Bedroom?
This answer is really going to vary depending on the couple in question. I have no idea what your accustomed to doing with your spouse. What you do on a typical night together may be spicier than what another couple would choose to do.
What you are trying to accomplish when it comes to spicing things up with your lover, is to break away from the norms you have established. When you get out of the patterns you fall into, it will cause you to feel closer to your spouse.
Spicing Things Up Helped Me To Change My Mindset
There was a time when I saw sex as more of something to mark off my to-do list. Those were the years when I was taking care of little babies and I felt completely drained. I wish I could have seen my love life as the retreat that it was meant to be; not just as something I needed to do.
Getting out of the normal routine of love making helped me to see that this time together was valuable. It wasn’t something to just do for my husband, but was something I needed to do for me. Also, something I needed to let him do for me.
If you are feeling in a bit of rut or haven’t done anything out of the ordinary lately, here are a few things you can do tonight that will spice things up.
1. Daydream About Being With Your Lover
Ok, this one is going to require a bit of forethought. I am guessing you are already daydreaming about sex if you are reading this article.
You can take it a step further and invite your spouse to fantasize with you. Send a text to them during the day and let them know you are thinking about them. Give them a couple of hints of what might be playing in your mind.
When you come together for your time of intimacy, tell your lover what has been on your mind. Describe the fantasy or the event that you were remembering together.
2. Try Three Different Positions
Getting active and moving around will definitely wake you up during sex. Moving around during your time together will get you excited and talking.
It is likely that both you and your spouse have different positions that you enjoy the most. You can go ahead and make two of the positions the ones you both like. Then you will need to find a third position to try out.
I like to look at Christian Friendly Sex Positions for ideas. This is a great website full of instructions, without the inappropriate images. Not only that, these guys have the site laid out so you can easily find something new to try.
Simply reading the different positions together can get you feeling excited. If you are struggling to figure out something to fantasize about, this is a good start. Just visualize you and your spouse trying the new position.
It is ok if you try something that you don’t really like. The important thing is that you need to move around and break away from the norm. That is why I am suggesting three positions. A lot of couples do more than one position when they are having sex.
3. Speak Up
I get it, talking during sex can be difficult, but it makes a real difference. This was something I really struggled with up until the last couple of years. It was everything I could do to concentrate on what was going on and what I was doing. I didn’t need the distractions of trying to talk.
If you can’t talk, at least make some noises. It is very encouraging to your lover to know that what they are doing is something you are enjoying.
Find a way to get vocal with your spouse, whatever that means. You don’t need to try having a full on conversation of everything you like, but at least a few words will make a big difference. Even in the midst of my concentration, I can get out at least one word.
Hopefully these few ideas will help you to really enjoy your spouse tonight. Even if you don’t have a lot of time to be together, these ideas do not take much extra time to accomplish.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.