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I’m so excited to have Brent from Christian Friendly Sex Positions on today to share with us tips on how to please your wife sexually. I’ve really enjoyed getting to know him and I love his websites. He creates sex position graphics that are stick figures to show you in an appropriate way how to try new sex positions.
In this post, he addresses how a husband can please his wife in bed. What’s interesting to me is that many women think that their husbands are only interested in their own sexual pleasure. But, from what I hear from men is that it is a deep desire of theirs to satisfy their wives in bed.
He has some great advice to share for a man who is looking to know how to please their wife.
Here’s what he has to say-
Men in general don’t need much to get them ready for sex. A simple “you wanna?” look from their wife is all they need and want to get in the frame of mind to have sex. It takes more effort than that for women to be ready for sex. Here are some of my tips and ways to help pleasure your wife sexually.
No, the secret to getting your wife in the mood for sex is not to make your first move in the kitchen, although you could, wink wink. What I mean by the phrase, “sex starts in the kitchen,” is to help make sure chores around the house are taken care of. Women love this and it will help ease her mind and relax.
My wife has told me that she finds me the sexiest when I’m washing the dishes. I thought she was just telling me that so I would keep washing the dishes until other wives told me the same thing about their husbands. I wash dishes all the time now for my one partner!
So, make sure the dishes are clean, clothes are picked up, trash is taken out, kids are bathed and put to bed, and any other things that need to be done around the house. She’ll find it easier to clear her mind, want to, and be ready for sexual pleasure.
Your bedroom should be a place of rest and a sanctuary for your marriage. A clean organized bedroom helps ease her mind. Some people go as far as not having a TV in their bedroom. We haven’t gone that far, but there are many nights we never turn it on so we can focus on each other instead of the TV.
Help your partner feel confident and beautiful by turning off the lights and lighting a few candles on each side of the bed. You’ll be amazed at how candles can set the mood for women. Turn on some relaxing music that helps her get in the mood. If kids are still living at home, especially teenagers, turn on a loud fan to help mask any love-making sounds.
Okay, you’ve done the dishes, helped fold and save the clothes, bathed the kids and put them to bed, and now you and your wife are in bed relaxing. Although you would probably love it if she reached over and went straight for your genitals, that probably won’t go over as well if you tried that with her. Here are a few tips that will help women get ready for sex.
If you want to know how to please your one partner, give her a long, sensual massage and watch her melt into a relaxed state of body and mind. Men, don’t just squeeze her feet a few times and say “let’s get it on!” Think long, slow, and relaxing pleasure.
Women, it helps a lot if you concentrate on his hands massaging you instead of the problems of your world. This will help center your mind and keep it clear of anything but your partner. Notice that I said a “no-strings-attached” massage. Give her the massage without expecting anything, including sexual pleasure, in return.
This will alleviate any pressure she may feel to have sex and help her to relax. Sure, you might not end up giving a massage with a happy ending you want every time, but you will get that happy ending more often than not.
I occasionally like to cuddle with my wife, but she gets hot really quickly, so she only likes to cuddle during the winter. Cuddling makes women feel loved and safe and will often lead to lovemaking. Take time to hold your wife so she feels loved and safe.
So now things are progressing, there’s touching and kissing going on, and you both know where this is heading. Don’t reach in her pants and go for the gold. Take a very long, windy trip there. Start by kissing her on the lips, then move to her ears and neck.
Gently rub your fingers down her arm and back up over her breasts. Kiss her nipples and slowly move your kisses down her belly. Men, do you get the idea?
Take time to build anticipation by showing every part of her body attention while keeping her most sensitive areas for the end. This will build up sexual tension that will hopefully turn into pleasure and be released as an orgasm or two later.
For us, the best lovemaking sessions are when we orgasm together or really close together. It doesn’t happen all of the time, but it’s definitely possible. Here are a few tips that might help you and your spouse orgasm together.
I said foreplay three times because it’s that important. It takes many women much longer to reach orgasm. Most men can’t last long enough to give women an orgasm from intercourse alone. I’ve written a great detailed guide on Giving Your Wife Great Cunnilingus. You can use these cunnilingus techniques to bring her to the edge of orgasm and then quickly switch to sexual intercourse and finish with your partner together.
Make love in one of your usual sex positions. When he’s gone as long as he can, switch to a sex position with a lot of clitoral stimulation like the Reverse Grinding the Corn. This will hopefully stimulate her enough to orgasm, and well… it won’t take much for men either.
A simple traditional-style vibrator can work wonders at helping both you and your partner orgasm together. The easiest way to do this is by having her press the tip of the vibrator on her clitoris while making love to her husband in the missionary-style sex position. It helps if he supports his upper body with his arms so that she can comfortably hold the vibrator in place. The intense clitoral stimulation from the vibrator will most likely bring women and men to orgasm fairly quickly.
It’s important for men to really help their wives understand that they truly want to please them. This is going to require a lot of conversations and selfless acts. It’s also going to mean that you need to back off if your wife is feeling pressured to have sex or to orgasm. Of course, you want her to be able to orgasm better or more often…or at all! But, pressuring her to do that will make it even more difficult.
Be patient with your wife. You have your entire life to figure out sex and how to make it feel better for both of you. It’s ok if your sex life isn’t where you want it to be today. Keep leading your wife gently to embrace her sexuality and trust that you want what’s best for her.
I want to say thanks to Brent for sharing his advice. He runs ChristianFriendlySexPositions. com, and writes at MarriageBed.tips about topics that help couples have more fulfilling intimate sexual pleasure. Brent and his wife also own MarriedDance.com – A Christian-friendly marriage toy store. We hope these tips for how to please your wife lead to a happier, healthier marriage!
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7 Responses
I feel that your advice to “bring her to the edge of orgasm with cunnilingus and then quickly switch to intercourse” in order to attempt to orgasm simultaneously is a big disservice to women’s sexual pleasure. For most women, it take continuous stimulation, often for 20-30 minutes, in order to reach orgasm. Getting to the edge and then having the stimulation removed, even if he’s “quick,” will still bring most women’s orgasms to a grinding halt and leave her frustrated and unsatisfied, while she will also probably be expected to proceed with intercourse for his pleasure. As a woman, an RN, and a sexuality educator, I don’t think it is good advice to give to a man seeking information on how to make sex more enjoyable for his wife.
Thanks so much for your feedback Wendy! I think that is such great advice and I highly encourage couples to work through what works best for her sexual pleasure.
Indeed. Why not just orgasm with the culling us and then switch to intercourse for the next one? The second one is a lot easier than the first.
Stopping for any reason close yo the edge takes one like 4 giant steps back. Not quite to the point of starting over, it it’s a definite set back.
Yes, that’s a great thing to work up to! This is perfect for a woman that wants to have multiples.
Nope, not even multiples. Continual clitoral stimulation is necessary for many (most) women to orgasm once. Some might have multiples, but let’s not run before we can walk. I really wouldn’t recommend this advice for men wanting to help their wives. Just ask her.
Thanks for sharing!