I’ve been married for 12 years now and I can tell you that having confidence in the bedroom is still tough. Whether you have been married for a long time or not, it can be hard to have confidence when it is time to be physically intimate with your spouse.
Any time you want to feel comfortable doing something, it will require effort and intentional actions.
These are a few things you can do that will help you to boost your confidence in an intimate encounter.
1. Go A Little Overboard On Personal Hygiene
I don’t know about other women, but I don’t feel sexy if I think I reek of B.O. Before getting intimate, consider doing a little extra with your personal hygiene.
Especially in the summer, you might consider wiping down all of your intimate parts. If you are the kind of person that enjoys a night shower, then just go ahead and take a shower. Personally, I don’t do this because my hair would not do right in the mornings without being wet down.
If you keep baby wipes or flushable wipes in your bathroom, this will make it easy to clean up. It will also encourage your spouse to do a little pre-sex maintenance if you leave the wipes out in plain sight.
Using a scented body spray or lotion can make you smell pleasant. Just avoid putting lotions and sprays anywhere your spouse will kiss or lick. It may smell great, but it tastes nasty.
When I’m not worrying if my breath stinks or other offensive odors are present, I feel a lot more confident being intimate.
2. Use Soft Lighting In The Room
I’m sensitive to having overhead lights shining me in the face at night. Lamps and soft lighting is much more comfortable for me in general.
Since I have so much issues with the brightness of lights, I’ve discovered some added benefits to soft lighting. Everyone looks gorgeous in gently glowing lights.
If you are worried about the way you look when you are getting intimate with your spouse, lighting can be a great confidence booster. Light candles around the room or plug in a strand of Christmas lights. These ideas will cast enough glow for you to see what is going on and look beautiful.
3. Initiate Love Making
I won’t lie, it took me a number of years to initiate love making in my relationship. At this point, I have no idea why it was so hard for me to pursue my husband, I just know it was. Maybe one day I’ll be able to put into words why I avoided initiating.
However, I will say that initiating has done a lot for my confidence level. When I go to my husband and pursue him, it helps me to feel empowered.
The other benefit to me initiating, is that I am not caught off guard. If I know I’m getting in the bed to be intimate, I’m going to do the extra personal hygiene things that help me feel comfortable. I’m going to plug in the soft lights so that I have the best possible atmosphere.
As long as I can do the things that I need to do to feel prepared to have sex, and then I initiate, I feel a lot less self-conscious. This in turn leads to me feeling confident with what I’m doing.
Hopefully, you can feel a bit more sure of yourself in the bedroom with these few tips. If you have anything that you do to feel confident, please tell me about it in the comments section. I’d love for you to share with the community your own ideas.
If you loved this post, you’ll love my bedroom game post that has free printables:
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.