I love being a mom to my 3 amazing boys and I can’t imagine my life without them. Life changes drastically after children are born. You become a person who is responsible for keeping them fed, clothed, and alive. If you have kids, you understand what I mean.
There are days I remember not wanting to leave my bed. I loved being with my children, but it robbed me of all kinds of energy. At the end of the day, I had no more energy to connect with my husband, because I had used it all up during the day.
After children arrive, it is hard to make your spouse a priority. However, is it truly important to try? You and your spouse are a team that needs to stay connected. I want to share a few ways I found to make my husband a priority each day.
1. We Keep The Kids Out Of Our Bed
While this may not work for everyone, it has definitely worked for our marriage. It is important for the kids to know that our bed is off limits. Our marriage bed is saved for us.
When my kids are sick or scared, I go to their room and give them whatever they need to feel loved and secure. It is important for them to know that our marriage bed is only for my husband and myself. Our marriage is the priority.
2. The Kids Go To Bed on Time
In the hustle and bustle of each day, bedtime can really catch you by surprise. You can be doing one thing and then you suddenly realize you have 5 minutes to rush the kids to their beds. Then, once you get them settled, you’re suddenly too tired for the quiet night you had planned. You then find yourself getting ready for bed.
If you have some intentional planning, it doesn’t have to go that way! You can tuck the kids in and then spend time with your husband. Getting the kids to bed at a regular time each night is so important for your marriage. It ensures you are able to plan time with your husband.
3. Initiating Sex
As I mentioned before, raising kids robs you of all your energy. This also makes having sex at night difficult and near impossible. You don’t have the energy if you’re ready for bed by 7 pm.
So, I tried something new. I did the initiating. Yes, me! Things went much better for us when I was mentally prepared. If you are not the one who usually initiates, it can be awkward at first, but over time, it gets better.
4. We Value Dating
Date nights with your husband doesn’t have to be at a 5-star restaurant. Even if you can’t afford a sitter, you should make dating your husband a priority. We have had many date nights at home after the kids are in bed. We also make sure the kids understand that this time is our time.
One day your kids will be no longer be at home. You will still have your spouse. It is important to continue to nurture this valuable relationship.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.