I spent a considerable amount of time talking to God about sex before I was ever married. Even though I didn’t have sex before I was married, I still had a lot to ask talk to Him about. After marriage, I’ve continued to talk with Him about it this intimate part of my life. While some of the specifics I’ve prayed have changed from before to after marriage, a lot of it has stayed the same.
Whether you are married or single, I hope you get comfortable talking to God about sex. Here’s what I’ve prayed.
1. That I Honor God With My Body
1 Corinthians 6:20 says- you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
Whether inside of marriage or not, we are called to honor God with our body. Sexual purity doesn’t stop the minute you put a ring on it. We know that giving ourselves sexually to our spouse and no one else is honoring to Him.
There are so many implications to that. First, we are not to be sexually active before marriage. Second, we are not to be sexually active with anyone other than our spouse.
2. That I Focus My Intimate Thoughts On My Spouse
The thoughts you entertain affect your actions. If you spend a lot of time dwelling on sex, you will eventually act on those thoughts. The Bible tells us to take every thought captive. You can’t stop sexual thoughts from entering your mind, but you can decide to stop thinking about them.
Before I was married, I asked God to help me re-focus my mind on other things when it wandered to sexual thoughts.
I love what the Bible says in Philippians 4:8- Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable–if anything is excellent or praiseworthy–think about such things.
In my married life, I ask God to help me focus all of my intimate thoughts on my spouse. When thoughts pop into my mind that aren’t focused on him, I use the same re-focusing techniques I used in my single life. It is so important to instill these disciplines in your single life, because they will be useful in your married life.
3. That I Get All of My Sexual Attention From My Spouse
There’s a difference between flirting and sexual attention in my opinion. Flirting is when you say and do things to get noticed by your crush. Sexual attention is when you say and do things to get your crush to notice your physical attributes to sexually arouse them.
I asked God to help me treat all of the guys in my life with respect by not seeking sexual attention from them. I don’t want the guys around me to struggle with these thoughts.
This is still something I pray for in my married life. It can feel great to get sexual attention from others, but it is dangerous territory in marriage.
4. That I Draw Physical Pleasure Only From My Spouse
I haven’t talked much about my position on masturbation while you are single, but I have talked about it in regards to being married. The reason I haven’t shared my opinion about it outside of marriage is that I really don’t know what I think anymore.
When I was single, I felt masturbating led to sexual thoughts and that was not protecting my mind. At the very least, I was convicted to abstain and I prayed that God would help me.
In marriage, I take the position that solo sex is wrong. I make the distinction between masturbation and solo sex, because masturbating is not the problem. Pleasing myself sexually without my spouse around or without his knowledge takes away from the intimacy in our relationship.
5. That My Spouse and I Have a Fulfilling Sex Life
God gave married couples the gift of sex. He designed this activity to physically unite a couple as one. It is a symbol of how He joined them together. God wants us to have a fulfilling sex life.
Before I was married, I asked God to give me a fulfilling sex life with my husband. I prayed in anticipation of what it would be like to add physical intimacy into my relationship with Austin.
Since my wedding day, I’ve asked God to help Austin and I develop a fulfilling sex life. When we are connecting with one another through physical intimacy, it brings us closer together.
God’s desire for us is to be sexually pure, both in our single lives and married lives. It looks different between these two stages, but the outcome is the same. When we allow sin into our life, it causes a divide between us and God. I encourage you, no matter what your relationship status, that you seek to be sexually pure.