I think it is important to flirt with your spouse on a regular basis. When I say flirting, I mean catching the attention of your lover and letting them know they have your attention. Even if it is only for a brief moment, the rest of the world goes away and it is just the two of you.
To me, there is a difference between flirting and foreplay. I think that flirting can certainly lead to foreplay, but I wouldn’t consider these two things to be the same.
Flirting is something that you and your spouse can do while out in public or during the day as a way of connecting.
Talk About Your Ideas of Flirting
This may seem like it will take the fun out of it, but you need to have conversations about flirting. It is important that both of you understand the gestures of the other person. Otherwise, you are going to misinterpret the flirting and send the signal that you aren’t interested in reciprocating to your partner.
For example, I’ve had many women tell me that their husband will grab their chest or butt. To the women, it sends the signal, “I only want you for sex”. What the husband is actually trying to communicate is that she has captured his attention and he is letting her know it. Yes, he does want sex, but that isn’t the only reason for the grabbing.
This is why it is really helpful to talk to each other about flirting. Ask your spouse what they do to flirt with you. Also, share with them the things you do to flirt with them. This will save a lot of hurt feelings and miscommunication. Here are some of my ideas for flirting-
Touching them is a great way to get their attention. You could-
Pinch their butt
Hold their hand
Kiss their neck
Rub across their shoulders
Put your arm around them
To communicate your intentions even more, look at them with a smile when you do.
Send a Text
Send your spouse a flirty text when they are away from you. It can be a simple message telling them you think they are hot. You can snap a quick picture of you holding a note that says, “I love you”.
Stop and Smile at Them Until They See You
Stop what you are doing and look at your spouse until they see you. You don’t even have to say a word to them. Just smile and let them know that they have caught your attention.
Wink, Blow a Kiss, or Mouth I Love You
If you are across a room from your spouse, get their attention and wink at them. You could blow a kiss or mouth the words, “I love you”. It is a simple gesture, but will help you both feel warm inside.
Use Code Words or Whisper in Each Other’s Ears
A great way to flirt in public is to have code words that you and your spouse use to flirt. You can say these words softly in conversation or whisper them in their ear. The two of you will be able to laugh and have a moment without the rest of the world getting in on it.
I hope that you incorporate flirting into your marriage. It is so helpful to add this into your connections so that you can become more intimate.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.