I know that it seems like having sex is intimate enough, but there are plenty of couples that have sex that are disconnected. If you make it all about your own physical pleasure, then you’re missing out. God designed this activity between a husband and wife to bond them together and create deeper intimacy in the relationship all the way around.
Here are things you can do to be more intimate during sex:
1. Lights On, Eyes Open
Really look at your spouse during this time. That means you’re going to have to turn on the lights and open your eyes. I’m not saying there can’t be times when you close your eyes and focus on the feelings, but don’t spend the entire time with your eyes closed.
If you are used to always having time together with the lights way down low, I encourage you to make it brighter. Using mirrors is helpful, too. Watching you and your love be physical is a very intimate thing to do.
2. Tell Them Something Encouraging
There are times to focus on your spouse’s body and other times to focus on their mind. Spend a few minutes telling them something you love about them. Encouraging them while you are in a tangled mess makes the moments even more intimate.
Know when to stop talking and focus on pleasing their body. This is a good conversation to have ahead of time. Ask your spouse if they like for you to talk and how much.
3. Visualize Them
If you are in a position where you can’t see them or you’re nearing the point of bliss where you need to close your eyes, visualize your spouse. This is when using mirrors really comes in handy. When you have seen what it looks like for you and your spouse to be physically involved, these visions can be brought to mind during times like this.
Another thing you can do is visualize them doing or something something that makes you feel loved. You can think back to something nice they have done for you earlier that day, or just something in general that you love.
4. Stop and Hug
Don’t rush through your times of intimacy. I loved what J at Hot Holy Humorous said about that in her article on how to be more intimate during lovemaking. She said, don’t rush things. It’s not all about the big finish. Find ways to draw things out and really enjoy your time.
I suggest that you stop moving, and simply hug one another. This is as close as your two bodies can get physically, and you can stop to relish in the moment.
5. Carve Out More Time
Not every time you have sex needs to be a marathon, but give yourself more time to be together. Instead of leaving yourselves 20 minutes before you fall into the bed at night, carve out more time. That might mean you need to cut out some of your evening activities.
Spending more time during lovemaking brings intimacy. You can focus on one another’s bodies for longer, get into multiple positions, and try new things. When you leave yourself very little time, routines tend to take over.
These are simple ways to be more intimate during sex. What are some ideas that you have? Let me know in the comments section.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.