Whether you have a rocking sex life or feel like the fire has died down, every married couple can benefit from hotter sex. One really amazing night of passion can turn your entire sex life around. I remember the first time Austin and I played a bedroom game we created. It rocked our intimacy and changed our life. The same thing happened to my friend Daniel and his wife Emily when they played their first bedroom game

So, if you are looking for ways to make sex hotter, here are my suggestions.

1. Play a Bedroom Game

Of course, this is going to be my first suggestion to you, because it made such an impact on me and other people I know. 

Here are a few of my favorite bedroom games you can check out: 

  1. It’s Getting Hot in Here– this is the first game we ever created and it’s still my favorite. 
  2. Sexy Truth or Dare Vol. 2– our free sexy truth or dare game was such a huge hit, we created a sexier, hotter set of cards. If you want the free version, sign up for the newsletter and I’ll email it to you. 
  3. You & Me– if you want a physical board game, this is a great choice. Find it at Married Dance, a Christian Friendly, porn free, adult store. 
  4. Monogamy- here’s another physical board game you can grab over at Married Dance.
  5. Sexy Memory Game– my friend Jay Dee created this printable. It’s great for couples that want to pro-long foreplay. 

These are a few of the games you can try. Check out my shop for more. 

2. Stand In Front of a Mirror or Use a Handheld Mirror

mirror on the wall, use mirrors in sex

I know how hard it is to look at yourself while you are naked, especially if you have body image issues. Just start small. If you can’t get fully naked, wear something revealing and get in front of a mirror with your spouse. Or, use a handheld mirror or the camera on your phone to help you see what’s going on. This is particularly hot when you and your spouse are engaging in oral sex. 

Here are a few tips for where to place a mirror or use the ones you have in your room:

  • Sit on a chair in front of a mirror. 
  • Put a mirror in front or to the side of your bed. 
  • Get a stand alone mirror that you can move around. 
  • Hang a mirror on your bedroom or bathroom door. 

Looking at your spouse while you are making love gives you a lot to think about later on. These memories can be recalled later on and help you to get in the mood faster. 

3. Use Sexy Talk or Groan

two people with their mouths next to each other

Even if you have kids in your house or thin walls, you can get vocal during sex. You’ll just have to keep it at a volume that you both feel comfortable. Groaning and talking can actually help women orgasm because it moves more air through their body, plus it helps their minds focus. 

Not sure how to use sexy talk? Check out these resources: 

  • Introduction to dirty talk – my friend Jay Dee wrote this guide to help Christians explore guilt-free sexy language. 
  • Bedroom language worksheet – I put together a worksheet that will help you come up with words that you both feel comfortable using. This is meant to be filled out ahead of a night of passion. 
  • Lover May I – we created a bedroom game called Lover May I, which prompts you to ask your spouse to do sexual foreplay moves. Right now, the only way to get this game is in our book called Lighten up and Liven up Intimacy After Kids

You can also do a lot more moaning and groaning if you don’t know what to say. A combination of those two things can really get you feeling great. Truthfully, the more noise you make, the stronger the orgasm can be. 

4. Visualize What’s Happening

woman with a closed eye

While you are having sex, think about what’s happening with your body. Visualize the motions that you are going through. Ask yourself what’s feeling good and what you want your spouse to do next. Let your mind go to how you want to be pleased or how you want to please your spouse. Then use your words to tell them what you like next. 

5. Turn The Lights On or Off

I’m surprised at the number of couples that tell me that they don’t have sex with the lights on. There are just as many couples that have sex with the lights off. Whatever you normally do for your time of intimacy, switch it up.

If you can’t stand the thought of being completely naked with the lights on, put on something that makes you feel good about yourself. Just make sure that whatever lingerie or sexy clothing you wear allows you access for lovemaking. 

For those of you that don’t want the lights off during sex, then just dim them. Or, hang lights above your bed to cast a romantic glow. 

We all want to do things that will help us feel sexier when we are having sex. These tips will go a long way in helping you to enjoy your time together more. 

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