Keelie and I identify Friendship as one of the 5 Foundations for Intimacy in Marriage. We believe that having your own interests is important to cultivating friendship in marriage. However, shared interests are just as vital, if a little trickier to work out.
Making something together is a fantastic way to build a friendship. There’s just something about creating something together that bonds people together. Here are a few ideas to help kick-start your creativity so you and your spouse can find a new hobby.
Start a garden
Keelie and I have had some form of a garden in every home we’ve ever lived in. Neither of us had a lot of gardening knowledge when we started, but we learned a lot together. This was not only a fun thing for us to do as a couple, it became something the kids could do with us as well.
There’s a lot of benefits to gardening. Obviously, your family ends up with the benefit of fresh produce in the home. The time spent in the garden planting, learning, and harvesting builds precious memories that you won’t find in many other places.
Cook a new meal
One side effect of having a garden at your home is that you end up with a lot of seasonal food. One year, we had more tomatoes and green beans than we knew what to do with! We found ourselves getting kind of creative with how to use all these amazing vegetables.
Is there a recipe you’ve been wanting to try out, maybe for a special occasion? Try cooking it with your spouse! This can not only make a great at-home date night, it’s just a fun experience all around.
If one of you is the carpenter of the family, invite the other into the tool shop to help build something. Get together and come up with something that would be useful around the house, or that would make a great gift. Consider some of these ideas:
- Raised bed for your new garden
- Dinner table
- Nativity set for Christmas
- Cookbook stand
- Organizer for pots and pans
The two of you should be able to come up with a great idea and make it become a reality. Put aside a Saturday sometime soon and give it a try.
Redecorate a room
Honestly, this one is what inspired this entire post. Keelie has been itching to rearrange our living room since we moved to Dallas. It never really worked very well the way it was set up, but it was the only way we could envision it.
One day, Keelie finally had an idea that was worth a try. The next thing I knew, we’d completely rearranged all the furniture and I was hanging new decorations on the wall to fit the new layout. She’d have an idea, then I’d have one, then the kids would have one! It was great having us all work together to make this new look work, and it really paid off.
You could move everything around, put on a fresh coat of paint, or just change the color scheme in a room. You could even go so far as to remodel. Just make sure you do it together and watch as you grow your friendship in marriage.
This is possibly the least practical thing on this list because you won’t come away with something really useful. However, beauty is something valuable in itself and art is a great way of releasing your own beauty into the world. You don’t have to necessarily paint, draw, sculpt, etc. the same piece of art together.
Simply experiencing the act of artistic creation while in each other’s company can build wonderful bonds between the two of you. Find an art class at a local community college or a wine-and-paint place nearby. Go cheap and get some modeling clay (or swipe the kids’ play-doh!) or watercolors.
Start a blog
Hey why not, we did! You may have heard the story before, but Love Hope Adventure actually started as a redecorating project in our old house. I had suggested to Keelie for years that she should start a blog because she wanted to be a writer. When she finally did, it was a creative outlet and hobby, not a business.
Years later, we’re working on it together to try to make it a thriving business that helps couples find a Community of people to talk openly about marriage and intimacy. Some of the best stuff we’ve ever done together has been right here.
Starting a blog is actually a lot easier than it would seem, especially if it’s just for a hobby. You can start one at WordPress absolutely free. Find a topic you and your spouse both have a passion or interest in, and take turns writing about it on the blog. Even if no one ever reads it, you will benefit from the shared experience.
Whatever activity you choose, make sure that it’s achieving the goal of building friendship in your marriage. If only one of you is enjoying the time together, consider something else. Find something that will allow the two of you to spend beneficial time together, working to build something together.