The week between Christmas and New Years is a time when I do a lot of self-reflecting. I look back over the past year and forward to the next.
One thing that is really important is to have a marital check up every now and then. What better time to think through your marriage then right now?
Here are 6 things I ask myself about my marriage when I’m running determining if we are on track.
1. Are We Spending Enough Time Together?
It is so important to spend time together as a couple. We have had some really busy periods in our lives where it was hard to communicate.
Sometimes, those periods are going to come up and there isn’t much you can do about it. However, times where you get so busy that you end up not spending enough time together is not healthy. When that happens, you need to make changes in your life so that you can get back to having time with one another daily.
So, how much time is enough? This answer will depend on each couple. If one of you is feeling neglected or like there isn’t enough time being spent together, you need to re-evaluate.
2. Have I Made Sex a Priority?
Both people in the marriage have a responsibility to make sure that sex is taking place. Whether you are a low drive spouse or not, it is a vital part of marriage to have sexual intimacy on a regular basis.
The number of times you have sex in a week is going to depend on you and your spouse. Have the conversation with your lover about whether or not the frequency of your love making is working for you.
It is so important that you guys spend time being together in physical union. God created us to have the need for sex, and for that need to only be met by our spouse.
3. Are We Making Date Nights Happen?
Date nights can be very difficult when you have young children and a limited budget. Even if your ability to go out and spend money is difficult, you can still make dating a priority. At home date nights are just as important as going out together.
For a well rounded dating life, you should have different types of dates that you experience with each other. When planning time together, it needs to meet one or more of these core needs.
Time to connect:
Make sure that your date nights allow one or more of these things to take place. Connection with your spouse is so important.
4. When is The Last Time I Learned Something New About My Spouse?
If you think you have your spouse all figured out, then you are really missing out. All of us change over the course of time. We go through phases where we like something more than we used to.
Take the time to be a student of your spouse. You will likely notice things about them before they do. It is so helpful to have a person in your life that can point out things about your personality and character.
5. Am I Too Comfortable In My Relationship?
Have I grown too comfortable in my relationship? Or am I stepping outside of my comfort zone and trying new things for my spouse?
Getting too comfortable in any situation will cause you to grow complacent. When you are complacent, you end up getting bored.
You should not be bored in your marriage relationship! If you and your spouse are not finding new ways to connect and grow, then it is time you make some goals together.
6. Have I Let My Guard Down?
Affairs and divorce can happen to anyone, even you! The best way to defend yourself against these things is to never let your guard down.
By that, I mean, always be careful in your relationships with other people, regardless of the gender. Do not go against your convictions. Be attentive to the influences in your life.
I encourage you to ask yourself these questions and then take the time to discuss them with your spouse. It will take both of you to evaluate the health of your relationship. It is so important to have a marital check up every couple of months.
If you don’t ask your spouse if they are happy in your marriage, then you will not know if there are problems.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.