Any relationship worth having takes work. In every relationship, there will come a point where someone will get hurt. You never know how your words will affect someone you love.
There is no secret formula to predict if they’ll be hurt, but there are 6 things you should never say to your spouse.
1. I Don’t Care
When someone you love hears these words, it’s like you’re saying you don’t care about them. Do everything you can to avoid saying these words. When your spouse hears that you don’t care about something they care about, it can really damage your relationship. This is especially true if they feel you don’t care about them.
2. Have You Put On Weight?
This is just a bad idea any way you look at it. If you ask your spouse about their weight, it is the same as telling them you think they’re fat. This is just plain hurtful. Even if you don’t think that, and you’re just concerned about their health, take a different approach. Making comments like this will only begin to put up a wall between you.
3. You Don’t Look As Attractive As You Used To
Okay. Yes, our bodies were made to age. It is obvious that no one is going to look the same at 38 as they did at 22. It’s ridiculous to expect your spouse to look the same way they did when you were first married. But, there are plenty of ways to communicate these feelings without saying them.
Implying or saying that you don’t feel your spouse is as attractive as they used to be, is damaging to their self esteem. You want to build your spouse up, not crush them.
4. Sex Isn’t That Important To Me
It is very hard for a spouse with high libido to hear their partner doesn’t think sex is that big of a priority. This makes them feel unimportant. When you say this, you’re essentially saying it’s too hard for you to meet your spouse’s needs.
5. I’m Leaving You
It’s true that we all say hurtful things when we’re angry. Married couples often say things they wish they could take back. Some words are more damaging than others. Telling your spouse you are leaving them can cause serious damage to your marriage. You should never say this to your spouse. It can also cause distrust in your marriage. Unless you’re fully prepared to walk out the door, don’t threaten to.
6. Why Don’t You Act More Like…?
It will wreck your relationship if you start comparing your spouse to others. Regardless of who you are comparing your spouse to, expecting them to act like someone else will damage your marriage. It isn’t fair to your spouse to wish they were like someone else. Remember, you married them for the unique individual they are.
Tending to your marriage can be difficult. When you’re living with another person, disagreements may happen. It is important to remember that when it comes to relationships, these are definitely things you should never say to one another.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.