As a friend, family member, marriage blogger- I’ve been asked many times by others about what to do when they are in marriage crisis. It is heartbreaking to see people in this situation. They don’t know what to do and they are reaching for any advice they can get.
Here’s what I share-
Be obedient to God.
No one wants to hear that- believe me. My mom has told me over and over and over, “Keelie, become the woman of God that you are supposed to be and be obedient to Him.”. Yeah…I’ve felt hoppin’ mad that she didn’t just take my side and tell me I was justified in whatever I wanted to do.
This is the answer, though, for all of life’s questions-
Obedience to God.
While we can’t read in the scriptures the exact thing we are supposed to do in all situations, we can use the principles He’s laid down for us to determine the right actions.
Here’s a few verses of scripture that we can look at when deciding how to treat those our spouse.
Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.- Ephesians 4:32
Do you know when Christ forgave us? Romans 5:8 says, But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
He wasn’t kind, tenderhearted and forgiving towards us when we were being that way to Him. He loved us when we were His enemy. He forgave us when we hated Him.
The love chapter.
Maybe you are familiar with the love chapter. In fact, many people have this scripture read at their wedding.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
When you are trying to figure out how to handle your marriage problems, take this verse and put your name in place of the word love. If I can’t say, “Keelie is patient, Keelie is kind. I do not envy, I do not boast, I am not proud…etc.” then I’m not being obedient to God.
Here’s another stinger-do nothing out of selfish ambition.
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or empty pride, but in humility consider others more important than yourselves. Philippians 2:3
Bleh…this is so hard to be obedient in.
Or what about submission?
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:21
Do you know what submission means? It means giving deference to others- including our spouse.
I’ll leave you with this scripture-
Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
While I can’t possibly tell you exactly what God wants you to do, there are definitely guidelines that I can I point you to.
- Be kind
- Have patience
- Forgive and forgive
- Don’t be selfish
- Be humble
- Put aside your pride
- Rejoice always
- Pray without stopping
- Give thanks no matter what
Other things on my mind this week-