In your marriage, you can certainly chalk a lot of fights up to poor communication. When you clearly communicate with your husband or wife, then there will be less fighting. You will probably still disagree with each other, but the arguments will be less frequent.
The truth is, to be successful in communication, it takes more than just the right words to accurately pass along your feelings. Non-verbal cues play a big role in how your words are taken. Also, the tone that you take to speak will communicate to your spouse what you are really saying.
It is important to understand how body language, tone, and the words you say work together as a whole package.
Learning to Read Their Body Language
It is really important that you pay attention to your spouse’s body language. If you aren’t paying attention to this aspect, then you aren’t understanding what they have to say as clearly. If their words do not line up with their non-verbal cues, then ask them to tell you what they are really thinking.
When they know you see through their disguise, then it will be easier for them to speak freely about their feelings. The position your loved one takes when you are talking to them gives you a tell-tale sign of how well you are communicating. They very well may be taking what you have to say in the wrong manner.
At this point, it is best to stop and re-group with what you are saying. Facial expressions and body positions make up a good portion of how you are being understood by others.
Change of Character
Another type of non-verbal cue could be silence, less enthusiasm, or some other characteristic that is out of the usual for your spouse. If your spouse is not acting like they usually would in a situation, then you need to prod them further on what’s going on. Pay attention to their actions or lack of actions.
Understanding Tone of Voice
The flexion in which a sentence is spoken can change the meaning of words that were used. How many times has your tone of voice backfired on you? I know that I’m constantly speaking in a way that communicates something I don’t intend.
Sometimes, I do intend to communicate something very clearly through my tone. When you are in conversation with your spouse, it is important that your tone isn’t giving impressions you don’t mean. On the other hand, listen to your loved ones’ tone of voice, and ask them if they truly do mean what they are communicating.
Now, their tone could be more to do with the mood they are in rather than something you are saying or doing. That means you shouldn’t assume that a change of tone has to do with the situation, although it could be. It’s important to ask your husband or wife really deep and pointed questions in order to find out what’s actually going on.
Increasing Communication in Marriage
In your marriage relationship, increasing communication is very important. When you understand that more goes into expressing yourself besides just the words you use, then your communication will grow.
Explain to your loved one what their body language is saying to you or what their tone of voice is reflecting. They may not know how you are taking their words based on those non-verbal cues.
When you work hard at increasing the communication experienced between your husband or wife, then all aspects of your relationship will be better. Clearly understanding your partner gives you a great appreciation for who they are and causes you to love them more deeply.
Not sure if you have a breakdown in communication? I wrote this article on signs that you are miscommunicating with your spouse. Getting this right will make the difference between a marriage you are satisfied in and one that you are dissatisfied in.