We’re 6 weeks deep in following the stay-at-home orders and it’s wearing on us. I don’t know about you, but we’ve had a few blow-ups. Overall, we’ve done well, because this way of life isn’t new to us. Now, more than ever, we need to find ways to escape the crisis going on around us. That’s why dating your spouse in difficult times is as important as during the good times.
The other day, the kids all got into a fight and it took its toll on us. I braved the grocery store and texted Austin an invitation to go on a car date with me later that night. He said, “I don’t know what a car date is, but yes, I desperately want that”.
I got home, we put the kids in front of a movie and went out to grab drive-through. We parked our car in an empty lot and enjoyed our dinner. It gave us the time to just get away from the news of COVID-19 and the stress of doing everything at home.
What we learned over the years is that in order to be closer in relationship with anyone, you have to spend time with them. I’m not just talking about sitting side by side while you’re barely conscious and watching television. What I mean, is you need to step away from the ordinary and be one another’s escape from life.
Set Aside Time For Dating Your Spouse
I have run into so many couples that tell me that they haven’t done much in the way of dating since who knows when. Look- having kids puts a kink in things, but that doesn’t mean you can’t figure out ways around the time suck.
For many years, we couldn’t afford to pay babysitters. Fortunately, they can take care of themselves now. But, we used to be at the mercy of whatever friend would be willing to watch our kids for a few hours
Schedule At Home Date Nights
It is really important that you understand what a date is for. If you are unable to get out of your house because of young kids, you can still date your spouse. I know that nursing schedules, attached children, finances- any number of things can keep you from leaving your house.
If you want to get out of your house, but you have little kids, just get in your van or car and sit in the driveway. My friend over at Friday We’re in Love put together a great article about car dates you can have at your house.
Why You Need to Break The Marriage Routine With a Date Night
Remember back in your dating years, before you got married? The purpose of going on a date with your interest was to spend focused time getting to know each other. You both left the daily grind and joined up to have a good time.
The same thing is still true of your dating life. You and your spouse should walk away from the normalcy of life and be one another’s retreat. This is why I’m so big on conversation starters so that you and your spouse do not end up talking about your responsibilities.
Have a Sex Date
Vary the things you do with your spouse. Why not schedule a sex date with each other. Put it on your calendar like any other date night and plan out what you’ll do in advance. This is one of the reasons I have put together so many bedroom games for couples.
It’s Getting Hot in Here is by far my favorite bedroom game that we’ve created. Another popular game on my site is Lover May I where you ask your spouse for permission to do sexy things to you.
Change Up The Routine So You Can Focus on Each Other
All of us crave going deeper in a relationships with others. When it comes to your spouse, that is the most intimate relationship you will have aside from the one you have with Christ.
It is very important that you find ways to connect with one another through spending time together. Even if you have a mini-date or a at home date night, as long as you focus on each other and put what’s going on in life aside, you will have a better relationship.
I encourage you to make the time to focus on your spouse. Whether you sit down with your favorite drinks and talk, or head out to do an activity together, give each other your attention.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.