Life is so hectic at times that we may not realize the impact it is having on our romantic relationships. When you and your partner are working hard, you might not notice that you are distant. Here are 4 signs that you have become disconnected from your mate.
1. Your Conversations Revolve Around Work
If every conversation you have is about work, kids, or chores, then it is a good bet you are disconnected. These types of conversations are important and do need to be had. If they are the only things you are talking about, then you are not investing in your relationship.
Ask yourself if you and your partner are in the habit of only talking about your day. Talking about your workday can be a way to decompress. However, there comes a point when you become more stressed out by talking about your job or tasks.
Your loved one is more than just a sounding board for a long day at work. A couple that is growing in intimacy talk about their dreams, hopes and fantasies. Commit to talking about something other than your day.
2. It’s Been a While Since Your Last Date
It doesn’t take much for our lives to be so busy we forget to have fun. If it has been a while since your last date, you and your partner might not be as connected. Going out to dinner or doing something fun together builds intimacy.
Whether your lack of dates are due to time or interest, it’s time to schedule time together. Dates cause you to feel flirty and be romantic. When you are out with your partner, do not talk about chores. Instead, reminisce of good times and talk about dreams of the future.
3. Your Sexual Encounters are Quick and Lack Passion
Your sex life can be a tell tale sign of the intimacy you are experiencing. If you are in a love making pattern that lacks passion, you might be disconnected from your partner.
It is ok to have quickies for a release. If that is all your sex life is made up of, then it is time to breathe life back into your time together. Set aside a night to spend time in foreplay.
Every few months, you should have a check up on your sexual intimacy. Ask your loved one if they are satisfied with your love making. These conversations will help you feel more connected with your mate. There’s a really great webinar by Uncovering Intimacy, that discusses stress, and how stress can impact your marriage and intimacy. You can find out more here.
4. You Are Not Having Random Thoughts About Them During the Day
When you first fell in love with that special someone, they were on your mind all day long. How many times did you text them just to say “I love you”? I wrote a blog about little ways to show your spouse you still love them, you can check it out here.. Remember when you were dating and you did all these?
What about now? Are you thinking about them during the day? If your mind is consumed with other thoughts, then you are not as connected to your loved one as you should be. Be intentional in thinking about your mate.
Building intimate relationships for the long haul takes a lot of work. In the beginning of your romantic relationship, it was easy to stay connected. Once you become more comfortable with one another, you will have to work harder to connect.
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