Someone left a comment on a post the other day and made the statement:
I love that you recognize the need to work on your marriage. Too many people think that the only folks that need to work on their marriage or those whose marriage is in trouble.
I agree! Too many people do wait until they are in crisis mode to work on their marriage. Instead of waiting until that point, work to strengthen your marriage now. Here are some things you can do to invest in each other.
Make Dating a Priority
I say this on a regular basis, you need to go on dates with your spouse. Even if you are having an at-home-date night, you need to make this a priority. In our day and age, couples are so busy, that if they do not go on dates, they miss out on vital time with one another.
When you go out on a date, I always suggest you have a few rules in place such as:
- Keep phone use to a minimum– try not to answer calls and texts unless it is of the utmost importance. I know that you need to keep it available in case the sitter calls, but other than that, avoid phone use.
- Use conversation starters– I’m a huge advocate of conversation starters, because it keep you from talking about your jobs, kids, and responsibilities. It is so important to use your date time as an escape from life and what’s going on. (Don’t forget to sign up for my newsletter at the bottom of this page and you will receive my free printable conversation starters.)
- Dress for your spouse– when Austin and I go out, we always try to wear something the other one really likes on us. It is important to let your date know you took time to look nice for them.
- Have sex if you can- if you stay out super late, sex may not happen, but try to follow up dates with sex. You are going to feel connected with each other and it is a great time to add to the experience.
Those are just a few of the things I suggest when it comes to making date night successful. If you stay in, all these same rules should apply.
Don’t Let Your Love Life Suffer
Whatever this looks like for you, don’t let your sex life suffer. Make sure that you are both meeting one another’s needs. I can’t tell you how often you should have sex each week, but I believe you should be having sex at least once a week. This is of course, unless you guys are physically separated.
It is also important that you try new things with your lover on occasion. At the very least, have a rotation of different sexual experiences that you can engage in. Breaking free from the routine can have great impact on your desire for one another.
This is a big one for married couples! We can all have this tendency to nag our spouse when they aren’t doing what we want them to do. I’m not saying you can’t ever address issues with your husband or wife, but you have to give them time to make the adjustments.
It is possible that they won’t change what you are asking them to change. In this case, nagging will turn into a power struggle and you still won’t get what you want. All you will succeed in doing is driving a wedge between you and your spouse.
Ask your husband or wife to make changes, and then let them have the free choice to do what they are going to do.
Engage in Activities With Each Other
Find something that you and your partner can do together. Austin and I are not very similar in the things we like to do. For that reason, we will often take turns on doing things that the other person enjoys.
Austin knows I like to go on walks and get out of the house. He takes me out to do fun things, because he knows I like it. Austin likes movies and video games. I always take him to see a movie on his birthday and we stop by arcades when we get a chance.
Even if you both don’t enjoy the same things, consider taking turns doing things together that the other person likes. This is a great way to expand what you enjoy.
Do Nice Things For One Another
It doesn’t have to be something big, but do simple things for one another. Austin likes to make coffee in the morning and sometimes he’ll bring me a cup while I’m getting ready. Recently, Austin has decided he likes a little mint in his tea, and since I don’t, it requires us brew it separately. The other day, I poured some tea in a teapot and added a mint bag to it.
Your partner will notice when you do simple things for them. Maybe you can do a chore that they normally do or run an errand for them. Find ways to bless them.
These are just a few things you can to do really invest in your marriage. It is important to remember that it takes daily investment to have a successful relationship.