Establishing Goals in Dating Relationships and Marriages

A few months back I spent the night counseling a couple that have decided that they want to honor God and their future marriage by waiting until they get married to have sex. For them, they have struggled with keeping their commitment and decided to reach out for help. Any time you are in a romantic relationship with someone, you should certainly have clearly defined goals, boundaries and expectations.

Create Clearly Defined Goals

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1. Come to an agreement about what your goals are. It is important in relationships and dating that you and your significant other agree about the goals. If you don’t agree, you will not be able to succeed. You will find that a lot of compromise is necessary in determining goals you make as a couple. The way you handle creating goals will lay the foundation of how you work the process of succeeding at these goals.

2. Decide how you plan to accomplish your goals. Being specific in the goals in dating and relationships is the key to success. Don’t just create the goals without an action plan. Make easy to follow guidelines that will help you be successful.

3. Hold each other accountable and ask others to help as well. Be sure that you don’t isolate yourself in any dating to relationships transition. So often we have this mindset that we are the only ones that need to know our business. Your relationship should be open enough that you confide in other close friends. Of course you should be cautious as to not violate your partner’s desires, but there shouldn’t be anything going on between you and your loved one that you can’t tell anyone else.

4. Know that you might fail, and forgive each other when you do. None of us are perfect and it is very hard to keep your commitments when you are the only one in the equation. When you are working toward a goal with someone else, it can be just as difficult. They may not keep up with their end of the commitment, or you may waiver on yours. Either way, expect it to happen and be prepared for when it does.

5. Work together as a team. If you do not work together as a team in your relationships and marriage, you will end up fighting against one another. It is important to remember that you are working your relationship with one another, not in spite of each other.

6. Most importantly, love each other. Don’t forget that in all of this, to love each other. It is very important that at all times you remember the person comes first, even if that means your goals have to be put on hold.

Carry Out the Goals


Establishing goals and making commitments in romantic relationships will help any couple to have healthy relationships marriage, regardless of what the goals and commitments are. Building stamina in a relationship by making commitments and keeping them, will help a relationship be stronger, healthier, and withstand time.



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