I had a reader question come in today that I thought I would tackle. I think a lot of women wonder about this same thing.
How can a lady feel aroused by her husband?
It almost doesn’t seem fair for some women that their husbands can get in the mood for sex without even trying. I know that is not across the board for all husbands, but many guys can go from zero to 60 in half a second. Although, I do want to point out that not all husbands are like this. I have a fair amount of women write in and tell me they have the higher drives.
Sometimes You’ll Be Horny
If you are a sexual responder, you will likely have fewer times when you feel horny or ready for sex. If you are someone that has spontaneous desire, you will feel turned on when nothing sexual is happening.
For a woman that is more of a sexual responder, who responds to sexual stimulation before they feel aroused, different parts of your cycle are your friend. If you pay attention during your cycle, you will find a few days when you are easily excited. The rest of the time, you’ll have to make a conscious decision to get turned on. Which can be tricky. Trust me, I’ve been there. I had to intentionally shift my attitude when it came to my sex life.
Figure Out What Turns You On When You’re Not in The Mood
Each woman is different in what will help her to feel turned on. This is a place where you and your husband get to explore your sexuality together. You have a problem that you can work on together that will end with fun results!
Both you and your husband need to understand that there are some fundamental differences between what turns a woman on and what turns a man on.
What I’ve found is that arousal starts in the mind for women. If their mind isn’t open to it, touching can be bothersome and more of a turnoff.
The best way to get turned on around your husband is to give your mind permission to feel aroused. Think about the things you are going to do with your spouse. Visualize those things in your mind.
Permit Yourself to Feel Aroused By Your Husband
All too often, I think women will not allow themselves to become aroused around their husbands. It is a very personal thing to let yourself go in the presence of another person. Even if it is your spouse, you can feel shy or weird about letting yourself get excited about sex.
Instead of encouraging the feelings of arousal, some women will discourage it. When their body starts reacting positively, they begin to feel shy or ashamed and shut it down. If that is something you are doing, you need to retrain yourself not to shut down. And there are many ways to keep the fire lit in the bedroom. But sometimes, I will recommend focusing on your marriage and your spouse. Light the fire together, and then work on leading it back into the bedroom. Here are a few tips on that.
I hope these tips help you out to feel aroused by your husband. I know it is hard, but when you let yourself feel sexual and own that, it will help you out tremendously.
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