Most of us are not ok to be undressed in front of other people. That is entirely understandable. Memories of middle school gym class come back to my mind, or the countless youth trips I’ve taken. Even as an adult, I don’t want to bear too much skin.
Being Modest in Public v. Being Modest in the Bedroom
I think we can all agree that modesty is best when it comes to being around others. When it comes to your marriage, that is a completely different story. You should feel comfortable being completely undressed around your spouse without feeling shame or shyness.
Now, I know that we can all feel timid when disrobing, especially early on in marriage. As time goes on, that timidity should disappear as you grow in closer union with your spouse. If you have been married for a while and still don’t feel comfortable naked in front of your lover, it is time you change that. Here are some things you can do to spend time exposed with your spouse.
Spend Time Without Clothes on When No One is Around
I know this might sound weird, but you have to get comfortable being undressed around yourself before you can feel ok around your spouse. Sure, we have children that barge in on us and make it hard to have any privacy. If that is you, then it is time to start setting some boundaries for them. There is nothing wrong with teaching your kids or spouse to knock before they come into the bathroom.
After you step out of the shower in the morning, do other parts of your morning routine before you get dressed. In the winter, this might be a bit more difficult since your bathroom is cold. Turn up the heat before you get in the shower.
If the time after your shower isn’t the best time, then find a time that works for you. There are times in the day in which you will take off clothing before putting on your other clothes. Take your time before getting dressed.
Look At Yourself in the Mirror With Nothing On
Gasp! I just said the unthinkable didn’t I? If you want to get comfortable with your body, you must stop ignoring it. Don’t avoid mirrors at all cost, embrace them. It is not weird to look at yourself in the mirror while you are without clothing or in seductive clothing. It is no different than making sure you look ok in the outfit you just put on.
When you look at yourself in the mirror, don’t be overly critical of yourself. Just try to see yourself through your spouse’s eyes for a minute. What features do they tell you that they love about your body? Look at those features and try to understand why they feel that way.
Stop Believing What the Media Says is Beautiful
Seriously, stop believing what the marketing companies and media says is beautiful. We are no longer in the dark when it comes to photoshop. You will NEVER see an unedited picture of a person on a billboard, website, magazine cover, or anywhere. NEVER!
Do you know why we photoshop the mess out of people? Because no one looks like that…well, maybe some do. In general though, most people do not have perfect bodies. Even if they do, there is something that even the most attractive people feel self conscious about.
Instead of trying to shove your body into the picture perfect world of marketing campaigns that tell you all people look a certain way, be who you are. When you redefine what you believe to be beautiful, you will see yourself in a different light.
Believe Your Partner Instead
Your spouse loves your body. I know we all want to say that looks do no matter, but the really do when it comes to a romantic relationship. Your partner wouldn’t have married you if they thought you were ugly.
None of us look the same today as we did when we were first married. I understand the hesitation that some people feel about their aging body. However, you are more than just one thing to your spouse. You are an entire person, not just a figure or shape.
It is time you start believing your spouse when they tell you how attractive they think you are. Let them define what true beauty is.
Wear Something That Boosts Your Self Esteem
Pick out clothing or lingerie that will boost your self confidence. Start by wearing outfits that will help you feel good about yourself. I’m particularly talking about lingerie or other special outfits just for your spouse.
Find something that is revealing and sexy, but makes you feel comfortable. As you and your spouse spend time together while you wear sensual clothing, it will help you feel more at ease with your body. Try to make it a point to wear something revealing a few nights a week after your kids go to bed.
Lay Under the Covers With Nothing On
Ready to graduate out of sensual clothes and into your birthday suit? A great way to make that transition is to get fully undressed and lay under the covers with your spouse. This will give them the opportunity to touch you without clothes on.
At the same time, you will feel more relaxed and comfortable being exposed around them. As time moves on, you can start feeling more comfortable pulling the covers back. The more time you spend undressed around your spouse, the easier it will become.
Undressed and Unashamed
Being fully exposed with your spouse is a bonding experience that brings you closer together. It is important that you embrace this time with your loved one. We read in Genesis that Adam and Eve were fully exposed and unashamed. It wasn’t until sin entered the world that they felt the shame of their unclothed bodies.
We see that when they were in perfect relationship, they were undressed and unashamed. While we are no longer perfect, being undressed and unashamed in a marriage relationship is important.
What do You Think? Is it Important to Spend Time Undressed With Your Spouse?
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.