Every single time I suggest that you guys let your spouse get a good close look at you naked- I get a lot of pushback.
I’ve heard everything from-
My spouse doesn’t want to see me naked.
They don’t think I’m attractive.
I’ve changed down there since my birth.
I don’t think I could ever do that.
…and son on.
It’s time to stop it. I understand you have fears…but let’s band together and commit to working through those issues, instead of letting them rob you any longer.
Here me when I say this, sweet reader- that you are a beautiful and wonderful creation of God. He didn’t create us to be ashamed of our bodies. We became that way because of sin. In marriage- though, being naked and unashamed is restored. While we no longer have that innocence with the rest of the world, we do have that perfection with our spouse.
So- how do we start feeling more comfortable letting our spouse see us? Here’s a few things can try-
Look At Your Body Everyday
If you want to get comfortable with your spouse looking at your body, you need to be willing to look at it yourself. The more you expose yourself to the way you look, the more natural it will seem. Take time to look at your body fully in the mirror every day.
Limit Your Influences
Stop looking at everyone else’s bodies, or what your body used to look like. Comparisons will kill your self-esteem. You’ll never feel like you measure up to what you think you’re supposed to be like.
Don’t look at porn. Don’t look at airbrushed models. Stop looking at beauty magazines or fitness accounts on Instagram. Don’t even look at old pictures of yourself and long for the body of old. Limit what you see.
Spend Time Without Clothes On
Consider going to bed naked, or walking around without a robe on while getting ready in the morning. If you are always covered up, being naked won’t feel as comfortable to you. The more you are around your spouse without clothing, the more comfortable you will feel with them looking at you.
I actually suggest that you go to bed naked if you can. It makes it easier to have sex when you show up without clothing on.
Accept Compliments
If your spouse tells you they love your body- believe them. Many times, I hear one spouse compliment another, and they shoo away the comment. Actually, I hear people do that to those that aren’t their spouse either.
The right response to someone telling you that they like something about you is, “Thank you”. Learn to accept compliments from your spouse and others. Just believe them!
Ease Into It
Don’t think you have to go from turtle necks to butt naked over night. It is going to take time to let your spouse have unlimited access to viewing you fully. You might start with showing just a little bit more over a few weeks. Anytime you are trying something new, it will take a while.
These are a few of the ways you can feel more comfortable being naked in front of your spouse.
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2 comments
Dan
Boy, have I preached on this one in the past. He doesn’t see what you see in the way you see it when you are being a negative critic about your body. He sees the individual pieces/parts he adores and in his brain he composites them into a complete image of you that is enticing and beautiful.
Don’t make let the mirror be your enemy and bully your God-given perfection.
You may edit this comment and take down this link if you feel I am coat tailing your post for personal benefit. No foul or offense taken of you do. : )
https://youguystalkedmeintothis.wordpress.com/2015/10/26/quickie-when-size-doesnt-matter-stop-bullying-perfection-purpose/
Keelie Reason
thanks for the input Dan!