Is there a way for you to be your husband’s girlfriend and his wife at the same time? I think that there definitely is. Many of those things that were present in your dating life should continue to be present in your married life.
One of the biggest complaints that I hear from married couples is that it isn’t anything like it was in their dating years. They’ve lost the fun and excitement that they used to have.
Where did the butterflies go?
I think some people take the stance that there is no way to have butterflies after you’ve been married for a long time. In fact, since your love is so deep for one another, those feelings shouldn’t even exist. I totally disagree! There’s no reason in the world why you shouldn’t be able to act like a giddy schoolgirl with your husband of 10, 30, 50 years.
Becoming a Girlfriend Again
A few months ago, I had the amazing privilege of meeting Jodi Harman, the author of The Girlfriend Effect. She and I met at an event in New York City. I was so happy to get to spend time with her and hear her heart for married couples.
While I was there, she gave me a copy of her book. I’ll be honest, the title of her book really didn’t excite me. If you didn’t know, Austin and I waited to have sex until we got married, so the thought of being a girlfriend to him was a turn-off.
After spending time with Jodi and listening to her counsel to married couples, I really appreciated her perspective.
Defining a Girlfriend
Jodi dedicates many chapters of her book to defining what a girlfriend is. What I really loved about this idea is that there are things about your dating relationship that shouldn’t go away once you get married.
For example, as your husband’s girlfriend, you are a real friend to him. You want to take the time to listen to him and share the things going on in your day. She is a huge advocate of women confiding in their husbands over only sharing their thoughts with friends.
Another thing she pointed out is that a girlfriend is fun. How many marriages have lost the fun aspect? I think it can be easy to do once massive responsibilities sink in. Again, I really love how she encourages couples to go out on dates together.
With each chapter, she tells you what it looks like to be a girlfriend to your husband and I truly agree with her on these points.
Investing in Yourself
Another aspect of Jodi’s book is to share with women that they need to invest in themselves. If you are going to have a healthy relationship, you have to be healthy. She gives practical advice on how you can boost your confidence.
I think that self-confidence and a good body image is highly important for a healthy relationship. If you don’t feel sexy, it can keep you from having a great sex life. Her tips are very helpful.
Be sure to check out her book.
Also, while we were in New York, she was able to film this great interview. I think you’ll really love what she has to say.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.