Keelie wrote a post for the ladies on tips for multiples. I thought I’d chime in with the guys’ perspective on the female orgasm and some tips on giving multiples. For starters, go read Keelie’s article, it’s great for both partners to have this info.
Now for us dudes!
You can do this
Ok, y’all can do this. It’ll take effort on both your parts.
The first thing to do is realize that multiples are not a myth. With your help and some work on her part, your wife can achieve multiples.
Keelie mentioned this in her article, but it’s worth hitting on our side as well. Make a commitment that each time you’re intimate, you will bring your wife to orgasm. If having one every time (or at least most of the time) is not happening, having multiples is completely unrealistic. Keelie also wrote an article with tips for women on singles.
EDIT: Lemme rephrase that: If your wife isn’t having one every time she wants one, multiples aren’t realistic.
Hold your horses
I’d say the main thing we have to do as men to help our wives reach female orgasm (whether reaching one or multiple) is to increase our stamina. Women tend to take longer, so we have to keep going for them to be able to finish. I have a few tips, but the first is simply mental.
Keelie always reminds ladies to keep their head in the game during intimacy. Sometimes it can help guys to do just the opposite, especially when you are first learning to master multiples. Difficult as it may be, try thinking about something else instead of focusing on how great everything feels. Sexual arousal and sexual pleasure come pretty easy for many men. In fact, try to focus on her pleasure more than your own. Read her physical cues, gauge her stimulation response, find her rhythm, and work towards her sexual pleasure. When trying to please your wife, we have to delay our own stimulation as long as we can.
There’s also the physical side of holding back. I want to share with you three tips I’ve learned over the years that I hope will pay off for you too.
One way to make yourself last is to simply avoid being stimulated for a bit at the beginning. Try other methods of pleasing your wife – oral, manual, toys, etc. If your wife can climax through one of these means, try starting there and then switching up. Switching positions or techniques can prevent over-stimulation, keep arousal levels down, and sometimes that variety itself can help in reaching multiples. Keelie showed me an article a while back from a sex therapist regarding how dry humping can be great for female sexual arousal and stimulation. This could be a great idea to add to your bedroom repertoire.
Work it out
In addition to avoiding contact to hold back, there is proactive work you can do to increase actual stamina. To do this requires the same thing it takes to increase stamina in any physical activity: exercise. If you aren’t familiar with your Kegel muscle group, you need to get familiar. You can do some quick research, but basically, it’s the muscles that control the flow of urine as well as climax. To find them, try to stop peeing midstream. The muscles you flex to do so are the ones you want to work out.
The stronger these muscles are, the more control you have. This strength and control will enable you to both intensify climax as well as delay it. It will take time to build up this stamina, but so does everything worth doing.
Grinding the corn
This last one is the key. It involves a combination of some of the above notes. Grinding the corn is a position that is designed to directly stimulate your wife and increase arousal, but a small modification I discovered also helps with the stamina part of the equation. The position as described at the link above calls for actually moving in and out. My modification is to get into position as described but forget the in and out, thereby increasing the time you can last.
Instead, engage all the way with your wife and align your pubic bones. It will be similar to missionary, but you will be slightly higher up your wife’s body than usual. Depending on how you typically do the missionary position, you may also be closer – belly to belly even. A simple rocking motion can stimulate your wife in this position. With a little attention, you should be able to find a position and rocking motion that virtually eliminates your stimulation. If you do, you can go all night! Lock into this position the right way and suddenly her stamina will be the limiting factor. Trust me guys, there is nothing better about the female orgasm than hearing your wife say, “That’s all I can take!”
With this position allowing you to minimize your own stimulation while maximizing hers combined with your newfound stamina, and perhaps a little mind-wandering, you should be able to help your wife achieve her goal.
What about you?
Do you have any tips or tricks to help the husbands out there who want to please their wives?
Check out Keelie’s latest round-up post on our sister blog.
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