Some people really struggle with oral sex, because they think some or all of it is a little bit gross. I can totally empathize with that. It takes a lot to get comfortable with someone putting their face in your private areas.
If you or your spouse feel grossed out about giving and/or receiving oral sex, here are some things you can do.
Wash All Over Down There
Take the time to wash up with water and soap if need be. You can take time in the shower together or use a wet cloth to clean yourself. Once you are both clean, it can help you to relax.
Use a Fragrance
In addition to cleaning yourself, consider using a fragrance to feel fresher. Let’s be honest here, putting your face near someone’s butt can be off putting, no matter how clean they are.
Be sure that when you are spraying yourself with a body spray or using scented lotion, that you stay away from areas that your spouse is going to lick.
Tell Yourself it Isn’t Gross
This can be a mind over matter type of thing. Start telling yourself that it isn’t gross to receive or give oral sex. Changing your thoughts from negative to positive can make a big difference.
Get Really Aroused
When you get really aroused, you are much more willing to be adventurous in the bedroom. Spend time in foreplay getting yourself excited so that you can let your inhibitions down.
Try Different Oral Sex Positions
If it makes you feel weird to have your legs spread wide open while your spouse is giving you oral, consider a different position. A standing position can feel great and be less exposing.
Don’t be Afraid to Speak Up
Unless you tell your spouse what they are doing that causes you to feel grossed out, then they will not know what to do differently. Don’t be afraid to share what you are feeling.
Here’s a few things you may deal with when it comes to feeling gross about this type of sex:
Smells- if you need them to freshen up more, let them know. I know it can be a bit embarrassing to address that issue, but it’s better than never having oral.
Sounds- sometimes slurping sounds happen during oral. You can point out that the noise makes you feel turned off. Whatever sounds are causing you to feel grossed out, find ways to reduce it.
Hair- licking hair can feel pretty gross. Let your spouse know what areas you need them to groom so that you can feel more comfortable with this type of sex.
Too wet- some people think that receiving oral is gross because it makes them really wet down there. If that is the case for you, ask your spouse to not lick around as much. They can still please you by staying focused on areas that feel great.
The urge to fart– during sex of any kind, you can get the urge to have to fart. It can cause you to feel really self-conscious about receiving oral. If this is an issue for you, then tell your spouse you need a break for a minute and you’ll be right back. Go to the bathroom and take care of yourself.
Put Your Mouth on That Area More Often
The more you lick your spouse in that area, the more comfortable you will be with this. Consider wetting them down before you have sex as often as possible. You’ll start to get comfortable being down there for longer periods of time, and it will make giving them oral sex more pleasurable.
Hopefully, these tips will help you feel more comfortable giving your spouse oral sex. It can become something you truly love doing for them.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.