Have you ever tried to initiate lovemaking and it your spouse didn’t respond the way you were hoping? I think we have all been there a time or two on this one.
You think you have clearly communicated your desires, but your spouse doesn’t pick up on it. One of the biggest areas couples struggle to communicate well in, is in their sex life. In the movies, everyone seems to be on the same page with sexual desires.
Here in the real world, it is much different than that.
In movies, if you see someone start kissing, you know they are going to take their clothes off. In the real world, you aren’t going to have sex every time you kiss. This is why I think it can become so confusing for a couple.
You are likely going to show some amount of physical affection towards your spouse that doesn’t lead to intercourse.
How are they supposed to know the difference between you getting a little hot and heavy and actually wanting to take to the next step if you don’t come out and say it?
Can We Have Sex?
Maybe you don’t feel it will kill the moment for you to use the words, “Can we have sex?”, but I think it is better to be clear with your intentions then to walk away disappointed when you try to initiate and your spouse doesn’t understand.
You might decide you want to come up with some code words to let your spouse know you are in the mood. Then you can have that conversation earlier in the night so that you both have a chance to mentally prepare for physical intimacy later on.
Rather watch a video about this topic? Check out the video below where I share with you about talking to your spouse about sex:
Here’s the transcript for this video:
hey guys keelie reason here owner of love with adventure where i blog about the marriage relationship intimacy and marriage and how you can go deeper with your spouse today i’m talking about telling your spouse you want sex i’m not gonna lie this is something people talk to me about all the time they’ll write into me and they will say uh you know i had a raging heart on and i pushed it against my wife and she didn’t immediately want sex with me she didn’t even know i was asking her for sex nothing happened or i’ll have a wife say i put on something that looked really kind of you know exciting i thought and i got in front of my husband and he didn’t cut off the tv and have sex with me why because they misunderstood they don’t really know what you’re asking you may think that you’re explaining to your spouse that you want sex or communicating that to them by putting your heart on on them or rubbing your chest all over them or wearing certain clothes or giving the you know whatever look you have you may think that but when you have that light of an ask then they think oh this is probably a time where that my spouse can take it or leave it instead of trying to flirt around flirting is great get to the point though where you really ask hey can we have sex i really want to spend time with you it’s okay to ask your spouse straight up can we have sex of course they may say no they may say can we have a rain check you’re asking for sex right now and i am about to go cook supper or there is something that’s going to burn on the stove or whatever but at least the conversation took place and you aren’t left feeling disappointed because you didn’t have sex and your spouse knows like they actually fully know there are going to be times in your marriage and in your your sex life where you’re flirting and you’re having fun and it doesn’t lead to sex it’s not always going to and that’s okay it’s probably going to be okay with both of you at times but then there are going to be times when it’s not so to avoid that be bold and ask nicely gently can we spend time together if now is not a good time when is can we do that tonight can we make a plan for this give your spouse real expectations and really ask them instead of just assuming that they’re going to get your sexual hints and i’ll tell you why because what will happen is you’re going to feel rejected and they’re not even going to know why then there will be this resentment that’s built towards them and they’re going to be even more confused because they’re going to want to know well i’m not rejecting you have you asked me for sex and in your own mind you’re going to say well yeah i have i did all of these things i told you i really you know think we could have a little time together and uh you were being corny or cheesy about it and they just thought it was like up for interpretation like you know guys really just be bold ask your spouse to have sex with you be willing to have that conversation and if they say not right now let’s take a rain check or whatever then deal with it it’s okay you guys are gonna have plenty of time to have sex in the future and that’s my suggestions for you guys today make sure that you sign up for my newsletter lovehippadventure.com newsletter and i’ll send you my free sexy truth or dare thanks so much for joining me and i look forward to chatting with you later
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