What I Would Say About Intimacy if I Didn’t Have a Filter

what I would say about intimacy if I didn't have a filter


Recently I read an article over at Hot Holy & Humorous, which is a wonderful blog by the way. J wrote a post on things she would say about physical intimacy if she didn’t have a filter. I told her how much I loved the post and thought I’d join in on the fun….or awkward conversation….I guess your reaction will really depend on your personality.

If you know me at all, you will know I have very little filter when it comes to anything. Of course, I don’t run around telling the world my opinion of being physical with your spouse, but if given half a chance I will say exactly what I’m thinking.

Since there isn’t always a platform for me to say what I’m thinking about sexual intimacy, here is my unfiltered thoughts….mostly. 

1. Why is it when a couple wants to change things up in the bedroom, there has to be tie ups and eye masks involved?


Seriously people, is the best creativity you can come up with? Besides, once I have him bound and blind, then what? That is where the real creativity has to come in. By that point, I don’t need the eye covers or cuffs.

I was talking to my husband about this the other night. We were talking about how complicated people make it when they want to change things up.

Honestly, most of us don’t focus enough on foreplay during intimacy in general. I think if you want to make things spicier in the bedroom, then you need to do more kissing and touching.

That is why I put together a few bedroom games. There isn’t anything special about these games. Basically, it just outlines…do this and then that. You know what though, it’s changed things up in my bedroom, plenty.

You can check out these two. Both have free printables to make it easier on you.

It’s Getting Hot in Here

Couples Truth or Dare

2. When girls say that they would rather eat chocolate than be intimate, I want to throw a book of positions at them. chocolat-au-lait-suisse-495753-m

If anyone can honestly say they would rather eat chocolate than have intercourse, I’d say they aren’t doing it right.

Am I right? Can I get a holla from those ladies out there that love to experience the excitement of climax? If that is you, then you know you would give up chocolate for the rest of your life if it meant you could keep being with your spouse intimately.

I’m not really suggesting a picture book of positions here, because I have honestly never actually read one. A brief scan of the pictures is enough to tell me I am not flexible enough for those positions…for real. My point is, that if someone actually feels like this, then they need to try something new.

Seriously though, if I had to choose, then I’d say eat chocolate while being intimate. But for the love… don’t give up physical intimacy.

3. When I hear a spouse say that they are ok with being with their spouse out of duty, my first thought is, “You’re lying”. My second thought, “You’re crazy”.

On principle, I’m not against this type of intimacy, per se. However, if that is what you are ok with on a regular basis, you have problem. It is time to get your hormones checked and see if your libido is off.

It could also be a state of mind that is keeping you from wanting to be intimate. A lot of couples deal with a lack of intimacy in marriage.  Others have a hard time admitting they have physical needs, which can also keep you from desiring intimacy.

Or maybe there is an emotional problem you are dealing with. Either way, it isn’t normal or good to have a steady diet of intimacy out of obligation.

4. I Have no Idea Why Anyone Says That The First Time They Were Physically Intimate Was the Best They’ve Ever Had.

When I hear that concept in songs, all I can think is that I must have been a loser the first time I had intercourse. Was the first time memorable and special? Oh yeah, but I don’t want to re-live it again…ever…

It was hard to be intimate the first time. Neither one of us had a clue of what we were doing. It was the furthest thing from the best sexual experience I have ever had. Anyone that is hoping for the experience they had the first time they had intimacy has clearly not matured in their sex life…for real.

5. I Wish Married People Would Invest as Much Energy on Physical Intimacy as They Did When They Were Single.


I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I spent a lot of time thinking about physical pleasure when I was a teenager and into my college years. I also spent a lot of energy keeping myself from being in positions that would cause me to mess up and become physically involved with my boyfriend.

Sure, I know a lot of people do not have a problem being physically intimate before getting married. I have to believe that there was a lot of emphasis put on having physical intimacy early in the relationship.

There was a period of time when I had a one year old and was pregnant. During that point, getting physical was more of a chore. Who could blame me right? No one feels hot when they have a bowling ball in their stomach. Not to mention, the amount of sleep deprivation I was experiencing left me feeling exhausted at night.

One day, I woke up and thought, “You know, I spent a lot of time and energy thinking about intimacy during the years when I wasn’t able to be intimate. Now that I can be intimate, I’m saying no. What is my problem?”.

After I had that realization, I decided that I’d not only stop saying no, but I would start initiating more. This was part of the married dream, and I wasn’t pursuing it.

These are just some of my brutally honest thoughts about the subject. What are your honest thoughts? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.




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