The other day, I realized that I hadn’t really been in the mood lately. I’ll be honest, it took me by surprise a bit, since I write about sex so often. Regardless, I had disconnected from those desires for a few weeks.
I started thinking about the things that can kill your libido and what to do about it when you get to the point. Here are a few things that can cause you to have less of a desire.
1. Sick or Tired
Your physical state is going to have a lot to do with your desires for sex. If you have been exhausted lately or sick, you will have a harder time being ready.
When I was having less desire, I had been sick with a cold for more than a week and a half. My physical state was completely off, and I was starting to feel it. I was beyond exhausted many days in a row.
2. Stressed Out or Too Busy
The day to day routines that you keep will affect your relationship. When you are too busy and stressed out, your mind will have a harder time focusing on relaxing activities.
I find that when I’m stressed or the days are too full, I go to bed with my mind racing a 100 miles an hour. My ability to switch gears into an intimate time is very difficult. Coupling a busy schedule with a physically exhausted body and there’s little hope for getting in the mood.
3. Not Having Sex Regularly Enough
When you have sex on a regular basis, you will crave it more. The more your orgasm, the more your body needs the orgasm. If you and your spouse are not having sex every few days, your body may not have as much of a need for it.
How to Get In The Mood
Once you figure out what’s killing your mood, you need to make changes in your life. If you are tired, get more sleep. If you are stressed out or too busy, take something off of your plate. If you are not having sex regularly enough, schedule it more often.
There are a few other things I suggest that can help you get in the mood when you are struggling.
Make a Commitment Earlier In The Day
Go ahead and decide earlier in the day that you will have sex that night. Let your spouse know that you want to be with them later on. This will give you both a goal to reach and your night can be planned accordingly.
Flirt Ahead of Time
Get really flirty with your spouse before you head into the bedroom. It can start as early in the day as you like. Either way, before you get into your room, get playful with your lover. Wink at them, pinch their butt, whisper something sexy in their ear- whatever you do to flirt.
Put on Sensual Music
When you get in your bedroom, put on sensual music that you both can enjoy. I personally like instrumental jazz music that has a heavy sax line. Whatever types of music gets you in the mood, go ahead and start playing it.
Spray a Sexy Fragrance
I’ve talked before about establishing a sex fragrance. This is a scent that you will spray or put on every time you have sex. Over time, you will learn to associate that fragrance with sex. When you smell it, it’ll help you get in the mood.
Get Dressed in Something You Feel Good In
Whether it is lingerie or something more comfortable, put on an outfit that you feel good in. Wearing certain clothes will tell your mind that you are about to have sex. It can help you get there.
Talk About Sex With Your Spouse
Thinking and talking about sex will get your mind where you need to be. You can have a conversation with your lover while getting ready about the things you want to do with one another. Describe in detail the things you want to do with each other.
Stand In Front of The Mirror Naked
I know this might be a stretch for some, but looking at yourself and your spouse naked can help you feel aroused. Getting yourself into sexual positions that you can see can help you feel excited.
Play a Sexy Bedroom Game
A sexy bedroom game will get you and your spouse engaged in some great foreplay. The Couples Card Game or It’s Getting Hot in Here are two of my favorite bedroom games. Both of these have sexy suggestions already done for you so you don’t have to think about what to do next.
If you didn’t know, women are often not in the mood before they start having sex. They tend to get there after they get started on foreplay and love making. If you aren’t in the mood, go ahead and initiate. This is sure to get you excited.
These are a few ways that you can get in the mood even if you are tired, stressed, or busy.
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