Ways You Can Invest in Your Sex Life

There’s no doubt that at some time or another you have invested in you marriage, but what about your sex life? I feel like a lot of people are hesitant to plan ahead or think too hard about sex. Isn’t intimacy just supposed to happen?


Maybe- just maybe- during your honeymoon period, sexual intimacy came naturally- maybe. Not everyone even gets that in their marriage.

invest in your sex life

If you want to have a good sex life, you must do things to invest in it. I’ve got a few suggestions for you.

Here’s a video I did going over these suggestions or you can read the blog post below:

Put Sex on The Calendar

invest in your sex life

Every single time I suggest to people to put sex on the calendar, I have someone who asks this question-

Won’t scheduling it ahead kill the mood?


Anytime you plan in advance for something, it makes you feel more excited about it. On the contrary, you can enhance your mood by putting sex on the calendar.

Since it is on your calendar, you and your spouse will be able to keep it a priority. If you just wait for it to happen, then days may go by before you spend time together.

Learn What Your Spouse Likes During Physical Intimacy

Austin and I are firm believers in talking about sex before, during, and then after. Have open and honest conversations about your sexual encounters. You need to know what is working and what isn’t.

During your time of intimacy, you both need to feel free to make requests of the other person. If something isn’t feeling good or you want something different, then you can share it with them.

A follow up conversation after sex is also important. This allows you guys to check in with one another about the experience and give each other immediate feedback.

Try Something New Often

I’m not saying you need to try sex toysnew positions, or bedroom games every single time you have sex, but you should be adding these things in often. Don’t just wait for anniversaries or birthdays to do something different with each other.

New things help you to grow in communication and bring about a lot of excitement. Also, you might find that you really enjoy something and make it a regular part of your sex life.

Ask Questions From Trusted Sources

Many people have questions that they want to ask about sex. I know it can be hard to ask these personal questions, but it might be essential for you to ask.

Go to someone you trust to ask the questions you need answered. This may be a doctor if it is medical related, a friend, or in a more anonymous way by writing in to me or another blogger you trust. Of course, you want to be sure that the person you are asking will give you answers from a biblical perspective.

You can always trust that I’m going to give you good marriage advice that is aimed at helping you increase intimacy in your relationship. I’ll never suggest you do anything that causes you to bring others into your marriage, look at porn, or do things that are not God-honoring.

You can also check out this roundup of Christian Marriage Bloggers I linked to. They have a lot of great resources for you to consider.

If you have concerns about the way sex is feeling or something that is happening during your encounters, make the effort to get the answer. Should you have a question you want to ask, Austin and I are more than happy to keep your question confidential and give you an honest answer. Feel free to email me at [email protected]

Also, I have an anonymous questions form you can fill out so you can safely ask your questions. You can fill out that form here. Make sure you sign up for my newsletter here, because that’s where I answer those questions.

When you take the time to invest in your sex life, you will go deeper in your intimacy overall.

*I use affiliate links

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4 Responses

  1. Come from a military life where everything was put on a calendar you carried. DW started doing the same thing to be reviewed as needed to remember what needed to be done and what had been done. When you looked at her calendar a large purple heart reminded her when was the last time we rocked and rolled. Memory jogger for sure on how long it had been. System worked great.

  2. Go to a trusted source with questions written on separate sheets. If you actually CANNOT say them, then “I’m sorry, I can’t be spontaneous to verbally ask.” And hand the question. Maybe in the moment, you could actually read it and then clarify. Like this:“By intimate —— I mean the ——“ whatever it may be.

    I have had pastors steer me to books, worked out 1/2 of what I wanted. Then the same guy, tipped me for a brother, but THAT guy didn’t have ONE single answer. He couldn’t relate to helping me, maybe unless I had a knife literally in my shoulder, “Please pull it out.” That only shows that many pastors are teachers only and not counselors.

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