Is it Necessary For a Married Couple to Always Kiss Each Other?

is it neessary for a married couple to always kiss each other

I had a reader question come through earlier this week about kissing your spouse. They wanted to know:

Is it necessary for a married couple to always kiss each other?

Since I wasn’t given a lot of context surrounding the particular circumstances, I’m going to address it as best as possible.

Do You Have to Kiss Your Spouse?

is kissing my spouse something I have to do


It sounds like the reader is either trying to make a case to their spouse that they should be kissing more, or a case against having to kiss as much. Either way, the word necessary makes it sound like the reader sees smooching as an obligation of being married.

I really hate to see physical intimacy reduced to a mere obligation, but if you have to fake it till you make it for a little while, that is ok. As long as it doesn’t stay that way forever. 

The Examples I Saw Modeled

healthy marriage this way

My parents have been a huge example to me of what a healthy marriage looks like. Mom and Dad always kiss each other goodbye and usually one another one when they say hello. They told us this practice was very important.

I’m the youngest of five, and I had the chance of to watch some of my older brothers get married and interact with their wives. All of them got married and lived with us for a period of time while they got on their feet.

I watched one of my brothers be very serious about kissing his wife goodbye. They could have an argument right before he was about to walk out the door, and he would still walk over and kiss her. I’ll tell you, it is hard to stay mad at someone for too long after locking lips. I’m not saying the fight was over, because they kissed, but it reminded them that they loved each other.

Why I Kiss My Husband Everyday

Before Austin and I were married, we had conversations about how we planned to kiss one another goodbye. He saw these same examples modeled by my family, because we dated as teenagers. It was a no-brainer for us to come into the marriage with this expectation.

I love kissing my husband, don’t get me wrong, but kissing goodbye is a habit we established. What started as a habit, has grown into something very enjoyable in my marriage. It is very important to Austin and I to leave each other well.

What Do You Communicate When You Kiss Your Spouse?


Kissing is a perfect non-verbal form of communication. When you give a family member a peck on the cheek, you are telling them you love them and care for them. The same goes with your spouse. It is a form of non-sexual affection that is very important.

Depending on the type of peck you give your lover, you can convey passion, affection, and intimacy. At the very least, when you put your lips on your spouse, you are getting close to them physically. Being physically close helps you to get closer mentally.

Back to the Question, “Do You Have to Kiss Each Other?”

We started out with the question, “is it necessary for a married couple to always kiss each other?” In my marriage, the answer to that is YES! Yes, it is absolutely necessary for Austin and I to press our lips together each other every day…a few times a day.

I would venture to say that it is necessary for all married couples to kiss each other and do it often. Even if you start out with it being a habit, eventually it will become so much more.

I encourage you to invest in kissing one another as much as possible. Fake it till you make it if you have to.

If you liked this post, check out the one I wrote about:

5 Reasons You Should Kiss Your Spouse Goodbye

Why you should kiss your spouse goodbye

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18 Responses

  1. Absolutely, completely agree! Kissing is a must. At least it is in my marriage.

    My wife and I did pre-marital counseling in which the couple asked about the whole “first kiss at the altar” thing. I said I wasn’t a big believer in that, because kissing is way too important in a marriage to go untested. You need to know if there is chemistry, and kissing is a good, biblical way to find out.

    Just my opinion.

    1. I think kissing is a huge part of marriage. Certainly worth investing in. You can’t become a good kisser if you don’t practice. 😀

  2. I LOVE kissing my wife, and have enjoyed that for almost 30 years now. (I met her in December 1985.)

    We believe it’s important to kiss and say goodbye whenever we part. We will never know when the last parting will come.

    On any given weekday, I wake up hours before Tiffani does. I get ready for work, and then go over and give her a quick snuggle on the bed, and a kiss on her cheek or forehead. Sometimes she knows I’m there, and other times she is fully asleep. But I would never trade that moment for anything – it doesn’t matter how much of a hurry I may be in. SHE is too important to me.

    Good answer to the question in your post!

    1. Thanks so much Jason. I am so glad to hear of other couples that make it such an important part of their marriage.

  3. I think kissing is important. But there are so many kinds of kisses out there. I think there needs to be more different kinds of kisses. More passionate and making out when kids aren’t around and the simple kisses when kids are around. Variety to spice it up and keep the romance alive.

  4. Kissing goodbye, kissing hello, kissing good morning, kissing good night – this is extremely important habit. When I was in relationship and I didn’t get a kiss, I thought something was wrong. Nothing was, really. Some people just didn’t develope this habit. They should, though. It’s very enjoyable!

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