I had a reader question come through earlier this week about kissing your spouse. They wanted to know:
Is it necessary for a married couple to always kiss each other?
Since I wasn’t given a lot of context surrounding the particular circumstances, I’m going to address it as best as possible.
Do You Have to Kiss Your Spouse?
It sounds like the reader is either trying to make a case to their spouse that they should be kissing more, or a case against having to kiss as much. Either way, the word necessary makes it sound like the reader sees smooching as an obligation of being married.
I really hate to see physical intimacy reduced to a mere obligation, but if you have to fake it till you make it for a little while, that is ok. As long as it doesn’t stay that way forever.
The Examples I Saw Modeled
My parents have been a huge example to me of what a healthy marriage looks like. Mom and Dad always kiss each other goodbye and usually one another one when they say hello. They told us this practice was very important.
I’m the youngest of five, and I had the chance of to watch some of my older brothers get married and interact with their wives. All of them got married and lived with us for a period of time while they got on their feet.
I watched one of my brothers be very serious about kissing his wife goodbye. They could have an argument right before he was about to walk out the door, and he would still walk over and kiss her. I’ll tell you, it is hard to stay mad at someone for too long after locking lips. I’m not saying the fight was over, because they kissed, but it reminded them that they loved each other.
Why I Kiss My Husband Everyday
Before Austin and I were married, we had conversations about how we planned to kiss one another goodbye. He saw these same examples modeled by my family, because we dated as teenagers. It was a no-brainer for us to come into the marriage with this expectation.
I love kissing my husband, don’t get me wrong, but kissing goodbye is a habit we established. What started as a habit, has grown into something very enjoyable in my marriage. It is very important to Austin and I to leave each other well.
What Do You Communicate When You Kiss Your Spouse?
Kissing is a perfect non-verbal form of communication. When you give a family member a peck on the cheek, you are telling them you love them and care for them. The same goes with your spouse. It is a form of non-sexual affection that is very important.
Depending on the type of peck you give your lover, you can convey passion, affection, and intimacy. At the very least, when you put your lips on your spouse, you are getting close to them physically. Being physically close helps you to get closer mentally.
Back to the Question, “Do You Have to Kiss Each Other?”
We started out with the question, “is it necessary for a married couple to always kiss each other?” In my marriage, the answer to that is YES! Yes, it is absolutely necessary for Austin and I to press our lips together each other every day…a few times a day.
I would venture to say that it is necessary for all married couples to kiss each other and do it often. Even if you start out with it being a habit, eventually it will become so much more.
I encourage you to invest in kissing one another as much as possible. Fake it till you make it if you have to.
If you liked this post, check out the one I wrote about: