Is it Ok to Flirt With Others When You’re Married?

Flirting…it’s fun and exciting! But should you flirt with someone other than your spouse when you’re married? I think there’s a lot of conflicting information out there, and I want to give you my take on flirting with others when you’re married.

How I Define Flirting

I think that defining what flirting means is essential to answering this question. When you think about flirting, you may have a very different idea of what that means than someone else. Because of the way you define that word, you may have a very different perspective on whether or not flirting is ok.

Personally, when I think of flirting with others, I’m picturing someone doing or saying something to get special attention from a person of the opposite sex. By special, I don’t necessarily mean sexual. It could also be the type of attention you are looking for when you want to find out if someone else finds you attractive or interested in you. This can include body language, physical contact, etc.

What Are Your Intentions?

I think flirting isn’t necessarily about what you say or your body language; it’s your intentions. Are you intending to get attention from someone else to help get an ego boost or you feel attractive, desired, wanted, etc., with your words and actions? If yes, then you are flirting with someone else.

You know in your own heart what you’re trying to do with your words and actions when you start flirting with someone other than your spouse. Be honest with yourself. Are you trying to gain someone else’s attention? If so, why?

Is it Ok to Flirt With Others When You are Married?

Now that I hope we are on the same page about what I mean when I say flirting with others, it is time to address the question at hand. Is it ok to flirt with someone else when you are married? There are people who think it’s harmless to flirt with others as long as it doesn’t go anywhere. Personally, I think that flirting can be a dangerous line you are walking, and it could end up hurting your committed relationship.

Can Flirting Lead to Adultery?

Is this even a fair question? A lot of things can lead to adultery. I think the bigger thing you have to ask here is whether or not you have pure motives. What are your motives for building a relationship with the other person? Maybe it isn’t even someone you know or are trying to get to know. Maybe it is someone who comes up to you while you’re out in public, and they are clearly trying to pick you up. How do you respond? Do you politely decline? Or do you entertain their proposition? Even if you don’t let it go anywhere, it can still be damaging to your relationship and considered cheating in your spouse’s eyes because you are building unhealthy habits with others.

Focus On Building Health Relationships

One thing I want to make really clear here is that I’m not against having a relationship with someone other than your spouse. There are marriage bloggers out there who feel that way. Personally, I am all for encouraging you to focus on building healthy relationships with other women and men…and that is for people of the opposite and same sex.

I think the best way to have healthy relationships with others is to be fully transparent with your other partner. If they were a fly on the wall watching you flirting with others, would they feel uncomfortable? Jealous? Questioning your motives? Anytime you feel that you must hide your behavior from your spouse, you are not in a healthy relationship with that other person.

What do you think? Is it ok to flirt with others?