I don’t know about you, but my mind gets pulled in many different directions all day long. It can be really hard to keep my thoughts focused. I’ve been working very hard to be fully present in the moments I’m experiencing.
Many people struggle to stay focused, even when they are being physically intimate with their spouse. If this is you, I have a few suggestions of how you can be fully present with your spouse and stay focused on having sex.
When you think about your breathing patterns, it will help you clear your thoughts. If distracting things enter your mind, breathing intentionally is a good idea.
The more you breathe, the better sex feels. It will increase your blood flow and allow you to become more aroused.
Look At What’s Going On
Cut the lights up enough for you to see what’s going on. Get in front of a mirror if you need to in order to have a better view. It can be much easier to keep your thoughts focused on intimacy if you see what’s happening.
Visualize Your Spouse
If you can’t see anything or want to close your eyes, visualize your spouse. Think about what it looks like when they are kissing you or another physical act that you enjoy. You can also think about the things they do that make you feel loved.
Building sexual memories will come in handy at a time like this. If you have spent some time in front of a mirror in the past, you can recall those images.
*I wanted to put out a disclaimer here that it is never ok to visualize someone else while you are making love. It’s not healthy for your marriage for you to think of other people.
Focus on What You Are Feeling
Really pay attention to the way your body is feeling. Focus on your erogenous zones and what those areas are experiencing during your time of intimacy.
Think About What You Want Next
Ask yourself what you want to do next. What movements will feel good? Which way do you need to position yourself? This technique has a dual purpose, because it will help you determine what movements are needed to reach the end.
You don’t have to get loud, but moaning will help you keep your mind fully present. The noises you make can also be beneficial to your spouse. It can help them feel more aroused as well as communicate your pleasure to them.
These are some of the things you can do to keep your mind focused during physical intimacy. It is important to be fully present with your spouse during this time. By focusing on what you are experiencing, you will feel closer to them.