learning to like the way you look

A while ago, I wrote a whole series on How to Feel Beautiful. This series was geared toward women in the title. I am not sure too many guys were checking out how to feel more beautiful.

However, I think that all the challenges I set forth are completely applicable to my male readership. Guys out there, I know you follow me. I talk about sex….a lot…so I know you are reading what I have to say.

Since I know that insecurities affect both genders, I wanted to write a new series that reaches both men and women. In this series, I will cover:

Learning to Like The Way You Look

What a Couple Can Do Together To Feel Sexy

Helping Your Wife Feel Good About Who She Is

Helping Your Husband Feel Good About Who He Is

Learning to Like The Way You Look

Many of the challenges I put forward in the How to Feel Beautiful series is applicable to both genders. I released this series each week and suggested that my readers take one challenge per week. If you are ambitious, then start working your way through the challenges at a pace that will suit you.

Challenge #1- Limit Your Influences

The number one way I fight my physical insecurities is to limit what I look at. When I was a teenager, I used to look at beauty magazines.

Just a few glances through those types of mags makes me feel horrible about the way I look. So you know what I did? I committed to never look at beauty magazines again. I avoid as many images as I can that make me feel insecure.

Of course, there are situations that I get into that cause me to think I am ugly. When I went to the water park this summer, I had a horrible body image for a few weeks after. 

As much as possible, though, you should figure out what makes you feel bad about yourself and limit your exposure.

Challenge #2- Stop Looking at Porn Or Unrealistic Pictures

This goes in line with challenge #1, but I wanted to make it a separate challenge. Maybe you don’t think that porn and heavily photoshopped images are affecting you. I’m here to tell you that these images do plant a poisonous seed in your mind.

Just about everything can be made to look better in a picture than in real life. There is not a photographer out there that isn’t photoshopping the smack out of anything they publish. What you see in ad campaigns, porn, and whatever else, is not a realistic depiction of what is sexy.

Maybe you think, “I only look at porn every once in a while”…good for you (NOT!). Seriously, any amount of porn exposure is going to cause you to feel insecure about the way you look. Put aside those images that are unrealistic, whether it is hard-core porn, soft-core porn, or sexy ads.

Challenge #3- Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

It is only human nature to compare yourself to those around you. This is not a healthy thing to do by any stretch of the imagination. You cannot be like others, you can only be you. This is physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually…you name it.

When I was at the water park this summer, this is exactly what I did. I compared the body God gave me to the one God gave other women. It wrecked me.

I brought that insecurity on myself because I took my eyes off of God and laid them on others. There are a million and half people out there that are better looking than me. However, the way they look doesn’t have to affect the way I view myself.

Challenge #4- List 3 Things You Like About Yourself

I watched a video that J over at Hot Holy and Humorous put together. She is putting together a series on how to help wives feel beautiful. Her first post in the series was a guest article. In the post she recommends you identify a few things about yourself that you love and focus on that.

Challenge #5- Ask Someone You Trust What Features They Like and Believe Them

This challenge requires you to do two things. First, you should go to a trusted person, whether be a family member or friend, and ask them to share with you physical features that they like about you.

For those that are married, you should go to your spouse and ask them. You might already know what your spouse likes about the way you look, but it is always nice to hear again.

The second part of the challenge requires you to believe the person. Don’t brush off the way they feel or disagree with their assessment of you. You don’t get to ask their opinion and then tell them they are wrong for what they like.

Challenge #6- Find 4 Pictures That Make You Feel Good About Yourself

This is an idea I saw floating around on Facebook for a while. People were challenging others to post pictures of themselves that made them feel attractive.

It is really important that you select pictures that have you in the pic. I say that, because I saw a lot of people posting pictures of their kids and animals. It is important that you look at yourself and say, “I look good here” or “this picture makes me feel good about myself”.

Challenge #7- Tell Yourself That You Are Attractive

I understand that you may not be ready to believe that you are attractive. There is something to be said about faking it until you make it, though. Replace negative thoughts about the way you look with positive thoughts.

Instead of being consumed with, “my stomach is ugly and fat” replace the thoughts with, “I really like the color of my eyes”. Start thinking positively about yourself and kick those lies right out of your head.

Challenge #8- Understand That You Are a Creation Of God Almighty

When you think about being a creation of the almighty God in heaven, how can you not feel special? He created us with His own hands and continues to care for us. In fact, He sent His only son to die on the cross so that we can have life eternal with Him.

Check out this post I wrote about:

What My Mom Taught Me About Self-worth and How it Affects Marriage

I go over some scriptures in this post that will help you see why you are special.

Guys out there, I’ll be honest, I struggled to find anything to help you. I reached out to a few guy bloggers to see what they have written about this, and I came up empty-handed. Now I realize even more why this is a topic I need to cover.


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