There are many things you should know about marriage, but one thing is that it is time consuming. It takes a lot of effort to build deep, strong relationships. I invited Susan Gravel on to share more with us.
Here’s what she has to say-
Marriage is a full-time job. It takes time, commitment, dedication, devotion, and lots of patience. Problems can occur when couples don’t recognize this. They take their relationship for granted as they get on with their busy everyday lives. It can be tempting to put your relationship on the back burner when you’re working on a big work project, or you’re looking after the kids. But it’s not advisable. To be successful, marriages need nurturing and lots of work.
Set Marriage Goals
We’re used to establishing New Year’s resolutions each year and setting goals for work and personal achievement. But how many of us set up marriage goals? Taking an honest look at your relationship with your partner and working out together how to enhance or improve things will help you to plan. You can then figure out how to reach your goals.
Goals will vary between couples and could include things like spending more time together as a couple, going on more dates, getting closer, or talking more, etc.
You’re used to prioritizing your work meetings, kids’ appointments, and coffee with friends. Do the same for your marriage. Each week when you put your planner together, schedule in couples time.
This could be going out on a date, enjoying a meal at home together, or whatever works for you. Even when you’re super busy, make sure you carve out some time for your partner.
Working Through Difficult Times
When we commit to our spouses during our wedding ceremony, we promise to work together, even during the difficult times. These will come in many different guises, and they will test your bond. However, being committed to working things out no matter what will help you through the tough times.
Sometimes this involves reaching out and asking for help. If you’re struggling to get through things together, consider enlisting the services of a couples therapist from John Arber or a similar organization. A therapist will help you to establish a safe environment in which to talk about your thoughts and feelings and feel heard.
Much of marriage is about compromise. Women are often encouraged to keep their own identity and do what is true to them. This is good advice, of course, but in a marriage or relationship, you also have to consider the other person. This may involve spending time doing things that you don’t particularly enjoy.
Though this should not be the norm, we all have to make compromises in our lives. And, it works both ways. Eventually, you will find a place where you can both exist happily and meet each other halfway.
Being A Couple As Well As Parents
For couples with children, it’s easy to get caught up in their lives and all that it takes to look after them. This is natural and necessary. However, it’s also important to remember that you’re not just parents. You’re still a couple and should treat each other as such.
This means making time to do things just as a couple, going on dates, dressing up for one another, etc. Remember the time you used to date? Before marriage and before kids? Try to rekindle some of that magic.
It’s true; marriage is a full-time occupation. But it has all the best perks and benefits, and you get to spend time with the person who means the most to you.