Is Your Marriage Just Natural Like That?

“Do you just wake up looking like that?”, asked a lady standing next to me in the bathroom. I was at a marketers’ conference; I can assure you, I did not just wake up looking the way I did that day. To get my hair, makeup, and professional outfit together, it definitely took time. Boy do I wish I could just wake up like that, though, don’t you?

What she really wanted to know was whether or not my hair was naturally curly. I get that question a lot, actually. Here’s the thing about curly hair, it has the ability to curl, but you have to help it out.

I’m not one of those girls that can roll out of bed, run a brush through my hair and go out. If I do that, I look like this.

Not very pretty…or curly. In order for me to get my hair to do what it is capable of, I have to wet it down, put in styling product, and set the curls with heat. If I don’t do those things, I am going to have a frizzy mess.

Is Your Marriage Natural Like That?

People are little disappointed when I tell them that achieving my curly look actually takes time. I get a similar response when I say the same thing about my marriage. I have a great relationship with Austin, but we have to put into it everyday. We don’t just wake up and have a picture perfect marriage- we have to get ready for the picture.

Routines Help Your Relationship

Every morning, I get up and do the exact same things to my hair. Most days, it turns out ok. Some days, it just decides to do its own thing. It took me approximately 33 and ½ years to figure out the routine that gave me the most consistent results for my hair. This was not something I figured out overnight.

Developing routines in your marriage can be hugely beneficial to you. Implementing a few small habits can help you stay connected with one another. Here’s some of the things we do:

  • Eating at least one meal together every day
  • Talking while we get ready in the morning
  • Weekly sitting down to a cup of coffee at our bistro table
  • Kiss good bye
  • Regular sex

These are some of the things we do on a regular basis to connect with each other. The things on this list don’t require a lot of preparation ahead of time. Of course, if we are going on a date, we do have to put more time and energy into it, but the day to day connections don’t take long.

What ways do you connect to your spouse? Have you found things that have been effective for you?

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