Getting married is a huge commitment that you make with someone for the rest of your life. No matter how prepared you are or how much you know your significant other, there are many mistakes couples make in their first year of marriage and sometimes ongoing!
1. Running Finances Like They Are Single
When you are solo, you run your finances much differently than you need to when you get married. All of a sudden, there are joint bank accounts and one account. Spouses forget they have to communicate about purchases ahead of time and end up with a problem on their hands.
You can’t go out and spend your money any way you like. There may be some purchases your spouse would like to make. Overdrafts happen when a couple spends money without checking with the other one. Not only that, but so do fights.
2. They Don’t Detach From Their Families
It takes time to remember that you got married and now have a new family unit. In the first year of marriage, it is hard to negotiate family relationships. His mom wants them to come home for Christmas, but so does her mom.
3. Take on Too Much Debt
Many couples end up taking on too much debt their first year of marriage because of the wedding and the honeymoon. Then, if they plan to buy a house, new vehicles, and the wealth of other things needed to get started in life, the debt can wrack up fast.
Many couples don’t know how to budget, much less with another spender in the picture. It’s easy for debt to snowball, and all of a sudden; you’re up to your eyeballs with debt and not enough income to pay it down.
4. Try to Change One Another
For some reason, those things the couple once found cute about their significant other turns into a huge annoyance after they get married. There are also a fair amount of things that you dislike but put up with while dating.
It is normal to think that once you get hitched, you have the ability to change the other person. That is not the case. And that’s okay. Marriage and lifelong love are about learning to understand and relate to each other, not make them into who you want them to be. One of the biggest ways I’ve found at learning to understand each other is how you communicate with each other. Learning to control your tongue is important, as I wrote about here.
5. Fight Over Small Things
Learning to share a space with someone is very difficult, especially if they are your spouse. It causes newlyweds to fight over small things. These small things pile up and turn into a huge fight by the end of it.
6. Forget to Check in With Each Other
All of a sudden, the couple is responsible to someone else. You can’t just go off and make plans without informing each other. It is a mental switch that takes time to change. Don’t become so busy you forget your spouse needs you, too. Being too busy for each other is one of the biggest habits for hurting your marriage.
7. Not Giving Each Other Space
A new couple goes from wanting to be together every waking minute to needing a break in a hurry. It takes time to develop healthy boundaries and give the other person the space they need.
When you live with someone, it can be hard to accomplish this. Since the couple shares a bedroom, it is difficult to strike a balance. Both people in the marriage need time away to keep the marriage healthy.
8. Forgetting to Go On Dates
It is simple to remember to go out on dates when you are in the dating years. However, when the couple gets married, they often forget to go on intentional dates. When you sit on the couch every night, they don’t take the time to invest in going out together.
These are some of the top mistakes newlyweds make. Even if you read about this ahead of time, you likely will make similar mistakes anyways. There is a learning process to building a close and intimate relationship.
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