Seriously, it was about time I wrote this post for my own blog. I’ve read so many posts about spicing it up in the bedroom, and I must be honest, I’ve mostly been disappointed with what I read.
There are two types of articles out there on this topic….the lame kind….and the one that is mostly immoral. You know what I’m talking about. The lame kind features things like talking and hand holding (all good stuff by the way) and then the immoral one says watch porn and have a threesome….
What Are You Looking For When You Say, “Spice up the Bedroom”?
I think we all have different expectations when we are looking for ways to get steamy in your sex life. In general, people are in 1 of 3 different kinds of places (at least these are the three I can come up with)…
The first group is a in really amazing relationship where the sex is awesome. They are just looking for a way to enhance the greatness that they are already experiencing.
The second group is not having their needs met in bed, so they think the solution is to find sexier and steamier things to do in the bedroom.
The third group just ran across the article title and wonders if they are doing it right. Or maybe they don’t have any real expectations, just clicking an interesting title.
Switching it up For Those That Have a Great Love Life
This is the group of people I am in. I have a great love life and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. What I’m looking for in posts like this is foreplay ideas or new sex positions.
When it comes to foreplay, something that I have found particularly helpful is to use bedroom games. Now let me put a disclaimer out here, not all bedroom games are created equal. Remember what I was saying about the immoral suggestions I come across?
Many of the couples games I run across where not made with the Christian in mind. That is why I have created several couples bedroom games that has free printables. Some you might find interesting:
Another thing that I am looking for when I read these kinds of articles would be new sex positions. I probably don’t even have to say the kind of trash that is going to come up if I search for sex positions.
That is why the website Christian Friendly Sex Positions is so awesome. These guys describe positions without any offensive pictures. Occasionally, they will post a picture of two little wooden figurines doing the move, but that is it.
Yes, I’ll admit that I laughed out loud the first time I saw the figurines spooning. Still, it serves the purpose of teaching you new moves without causing you to lust.
These are a few resources that I have found to meet my needs in this area. I hope that if you are in this boat, these ideas will help you.
Making Things Better When You Aren’t Generally Satisfied in The Bed
For those that are not being satisfied in the bedroom, you can buy all the Christian sex toys (which by the way, Married Dance is awesome for) you want and try, but chances are, you might need to do something different.
Remember those articles I talked about that focused on hand holding and a list of to-do’s before you get in the bedroom? Those are the exact types of things you need to focus on before you can get to the place where you are thinking about switching up positions.
I suggest that you spend time working on the intimacy in your marriage before going any further.
Here are some things you might want to do spice things up:
- Plan regular dates (even if it is at home)
- Have intentional conversations
- Understand why there is a lack of intimacy in your marriage
- Hold hands (oh, come on, you knew I had to)
- Love on each other through out the day
- Flirt with one another
Those are some of the things you can do to work toward building intimacy.
If your biggest reason for wanting to spice things up is because you are not orgasmic during your intimate times, then there are things you need to do. I have written two articles HERE and HERE that might help you out.
How to Get Excited in the Bedroom From Around the Web
I follow a lot of other marriage and sex bloggers. Here is a short roundup of some of my favorite blogs and their posts about spicing things up…remember, I said everyone has one?
Sheila From to Love Honor and Vacuum: Spice Up Your Marriage
J From Hot Holy and Humorous: Why Try More Than One Sexual Position
Lisa and Stu Grey From Stupendous Marriage: More Variety in the Bedroom and a Tip You Can Use Tonight
Julie From Intimacy in Marriage: Boring Sex? Here are 3 Tips
Switching it Up For Those That Don’t Know What to Expect
If you just clicked this article to see if you were missing out on anything or to learn something new, I hope you found some valuable resources. Maybe you have read through here and realized there are some things you can do to make your intimate time more fun.
I know that not every sex position, toy, or foreplay move is right for everyone. I put together a list of questions to ask when deciding whether or not you should try a specific idea out in the bedroom. This will help you understand what is right for your marriage and what would be a turn off.
What About You? Do You Have Any Suggestions For Those Wanting to Get Excited With Their Spouse?
*Disclaimer: This post contains an affiliate link.