I’ve feel really sad when readers share that they aren’t attracted to their spouse anymore. There’s so many reasons that I think our culture is struggling with this. For, one, we don’t even think we are attractive, so how on earth are we going to think that of our spouse.
There’s another big reason I think some couples struggle with this- they are having major marriage issues. When you are fighting with your spouse or at odds with one another, it will dampen your overall view of them.
If you are feeling that attraction fading, here’s what you can do:
Make Your Spouse Your Standard of Beauty
We are bombarded with images of both genders and told that we are to find those images attractive. Nevermind that there are few pictures out there that haven’t been photoshopped to death.
Spend more time staring at your spouse and eliminate those outside influences. If you look at porn, I encourage you to stop for many reasons, the least of which is that it makes your spouse less attractive.
Focus on Mutually Satisfying Sex
When you orgasm, love hormones spread throughout your body. You will feel more connected and bonded to your lover when you have satisfying sex with them.
Not only will you feel more bonded, remember Pavlov’s bell? You can train your brain to have that same response to your spouse. Looking at and thinking about your lover while you orgasm will train your brain to feel excited by the way they look.
Fix The Issues in Your Relationship
Attraction is so much more than just physical traits. Sure, there is lustful attraction, but lasting attraction is built on a relationship. Both of you are going to look different as time goes on. Spend time focusing on building a deep and intimate relationship with your lover.
Spend time developing your friendship and general like for one another. Just because you love them, doesn’t mean you want to spend a lot of time together. That’s something that needs to be reconciled in your relationship.
Find a Shared Cause
When you volunteer with your spouse, you will see a side of them that you do not often get to see. Selfless giving is a very attractive quality in any person. Doing this type of thing together will help you feel bonded to your spouse. Shared experiences go a long way when it comes to building a lasting relationship.
Remind Yourself You Were Once Attracted to Them
Sometimes you have to be reminded of the feelings you once had of your spouse. Sit back and think about how you used to view them. Remember how they made your heart sputter and why you fell in love with them to begin with.
Now, Look at their picture and think the words, “They are so hot”. Real change starts in the mind.
There is no way for you to change the way your spouse looks. If there is any physical change that takes place, it will be at their doing. You have to change your mind about the way you look at their body.
Keelie is a mother of three amazing boys and married to her high school sweetheart, Austin. She spends her days running R5 Website Management, taking care of the home, and investing in her children. In her spare time, she loves to encourage married couples to grow deeper in their relationship and find joy in their marriage.