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Our Anniversary Date

This past week, Austin and I went on our Anniversary Date. On June 7, we’ll have been married for 13 years. It has been a pretty crazy journey so far and more has happened in the last few years than I could imagine.

Since we had a place for all 3 of our boys to be, we decided to go out during the day. We both took the day off from work and headed up to Raleigh, NC.

GPS My City Walking Tour

Old House in Raleigh

I really love to walk around downtown areas and look at houses. Austin found a self-guided walking tour that was in an app. He found it on gpsmycity.com.

The app was ok, but didn’t work the way Austin hoped it would. It might not have done everything he hoped, but we did find some great places to walk to that we hadn’t seen before.

We ran out of time to do one of the house tours that we planned on. That is ok though, because we’ll go back and do it another day!

Conversation Starters With Austin and Keelie

Lunch in Raleigh

Some of you guys have asked me to bring Austin on Periscope with me. We decided that since we would have such a long date, we would have plenty of time to do a scope with you guys. The rest of the time, we stayed off of social media and our phones, but we did get on long enough to talk about conversation starters.

You can check out some of the questions we answered in this video.

I referenced a box of conversation starters that we like to use for our dates. You can check it out here: TABLETOPICS Original – 10th Anniversary Edition: Questions to Start Great Conversations

Also, we talked about a book that we have used for conversation starters that you can find here: Love Talk Starters: 275 Questions to Get Your Conversations Going

Don’t forget you can sign up for my free conversation starters on my newsletter page.

Austin Surprised Me With an Anniversary Gift

We don’t always give one another something for our anniversary. It is just surrounded by Mother’s and Father’s Day, Austin’s birthday, and two of our boy’s birthdays. So, many times, we do not buy each other gifts.

This year, Austin surprised me with this incredible Anniversary band. It is a wrap that my engagement ring sets inside of. I didn’t even know he had been looking!

Anniversary Ring

It was a great day, and we enjoyed our time together. Here’s a great wrap up video. 

 

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4 Responses

  1. Hi Keelie! Congrats on your anniversary! It looks like you had a great date and your ring is beautiful!
    My husband always says he wants to make me happy, but holidays, birthdays, etc. mean nothing to him. I used to get upset and feel like he didn’t think I was worth his time or money. But I’m growing past that. Slowly. 🙂 I recently turned 40, and… Nothing. My older sisters husband rented an amazing restaurant and invited us all to dinner for her 40th – it was so much fun. I think I might’ve gotten a card. We have been married over 20 years. I have yet to have an anniversary celebration. 🙁
    So I need your opinion on something. I’ve been trying to cut my workaholic husband some slack and encourage or even plan a date night on my own. So there is a garden light festival that looks really fun, in a city close to us. I told him it looked like a nice thing to do. Whoosh! Right over his head. So I went the direct route and flat out said, “I’d really like to go to the festival. We could go on a date.” He said that sounded like a great idea.
    That was in April. I’ve brought it up a couple times. We pass a billboard advertising it on our way to church. I reminded him a couple weeks ago that it ends soon, and I reminded him a week ago that it ends this week.
    He’s made no mention of going. Every time I bring it up he says, “Oh right! Sure, we can go.”
    But we won’t. I am not reminding him any more. He is so busy with work (as he has been since before we were married) that he’ll forget. Work takes complete precedence over all.
    Our hot water heater was leaking for weeks. He was always too busy to replace it. I offered to call a plumber, but he didn’t want to spend the money when he is more than capable of doing it himself. He finally replaced it yesterday. That’s great, and I am thankful.
    But now, if I mention the festival, or if he realizes he forgot and it’s over, he’ll act like “I replaced the water heater, doesn’t that make you happy?” It does – but a date I don’t have to plan and then basically beg him about, would make me feel loved. It not about happiness, or getting what I want. It’s about feeling loved. That’s what I long for. I stopped hinting, and I was very direct about what I wanted to do. But – all to no avail. See if I had kept hinting, I wouldn’t feel roundly ignored. Because I could always say, he didn’t get the hint. But being direct and being put off – that kinda hurts worse.
    So do I remind him again? There’s only one or two nights left that we could make it. I don’t think I will. He obviously doesn’t want to go.
    But I am also going to try not to be upset that he basically stood me up. I wish he had just said no from the beginning, rate than give me the false hope that we would do something fun together.
    How do you get Austin to treat you so lovingly? I wish my husband was 1/10 as thoughtful towards me as he is towards his work.
    The great news is, I’m learning to find my happiness in Jesus instead of my husband. I have to work at it every day, especially since I have always had a longing to be loved by my husband. He says he loves me about 100 times a week, but he’s not big on showing it. I’m trying to learn to love him for who he is, and appreciate what a good provider he is, instead of wishing for things I can’t have – like date times and a special anniversary. It’s hard, but I’m getting a little better, and a little happier each day.

    1. You know, maybe this article from Austin’s perspective will help you. https://lovehopeadventure.com/love-2/simple-pleasures-for-your-wife-guest-post/ He talks about how much he used to suck at planning dates. He didn’t suck at it, rather, he avoided it because he thought he did. Once he got over that negative mindset, he started taking more initiative with the planning. I used to get very hurt that he wouldn’t plan dates. It was so hard on me and made me feel like he didn’t really love me as much as he said he did. It made me feel like going out with me wasn’t important to him. He is more of a homebody than I am anyways, so it didn’t bother him if we didn’t go places or do things. However, it was slowly killing me inside. I think I just finally decided that I would stop pressuring him to plan dates, and I would make the plans. I would find the sitter, I would make the plans, I would put it on his calendar and I would make sure everything was taken care of so we could go out. He would just get home from work at normal times and go where I planned for us to go. I had to swallow my pride and realize that it was much more important to me that we go out with each other than it was for me to force him to decide to take me out.

      I can’t tell you what to do with your husband. You have to decide how to handle it. If you want to go to that festival, then go. Invite him to come along and if he doesn’t then he doesn’t, but you go and have a great time. He very well may get in the car with you if you tell him what time you are leaving. Or, if he thinks he has a choice in the matter, he might stay home. I don’t know.

      Yeah- I feel you on just saying no from the beginning. I felt like Austin would never commit to taking me to the places I decided we should go. He would forget about the plans. In his defense, he forgets about all sorts of things though, so I tried not to read into him forgetting about dates or the fact that I wanted to go out with him. He would double book things sometimes, because he didn’t remember we had plans. He found a way to get his calendar organized so he would stop double booking things. It hurt my feelings like crazy to have him forget things. I had to overlook his forgetfulness and work with him to come up with ways for him to remember we had plans for things. He uses google calendar now. We put everything on there so that he doesn’t double book himself.

      We take turns planning dates more now. This anniversary date was actually a collaboration between the two of us. It started a few weeks ago when I realized we would be kid free during the day a few days last week. I told him to pick a day we could go. Then, two days before, we started talking about what we were going to do with our day off. I started looking for things in the area we were going to go, and then he found the app. From that point, he finished making the plans. There was a time when I would have planned it all from start to finish, but over the years, he has become much more confident. We certainly don’t have it all figured out!

      We don’t even get to go out like that on all of our anniversaries. Many years, we would just eat steaks my brother gave us and put kids together and eat. Last year, I believe we may have gone out for dinner. This was probably the most extravagant anniversary date we have had. 😀

      I don’t get Austin to treat me lovingly, btw. I don’t control how he acts. He has made a lot of changes over the years as have I. We have both focused on meeting one another’s needs. Sometimes, we are better at it than others. Sometimes, we down right stink at meeting each other’s needs.

      Keep working towards finding happiness in Christ.

  2. Keelie, first of all, thanks for the awesome, thorough response. It is super helpful!
    Second, I had to laugh at this (I’m sure it was a typo) “Many years, we would just eat steaks my brother gave us and put kids together…” Is that a polite way of saying “share romance?” I’m kidding, of course, but I did chuckle when I read that. 🙂
    And third, I didn’t word that “treat lovingly” question correctly. I’m sure you don’t control your husband, or how he acts. I was just wondering if there was anything special you did or said that helped him know how you felt loved. I’m still stumbling on my words here, sorry. Anyhow, you kind of answered that question in the bulk of your comment.
    Thanks for everything! I will check out the post you linked. By the way, I absolutely love how real you are. Thank you so much!

    1. Put the kids to bed. 😀 Lol…but yeah, we did put them together too! Hahaha

      I have no idea what I said to help him. we honestly didn’t understand one another all that well during many different points in our marriage. We really missed the boat with one another in regards to sexual intimacy for years. There are just times when you are going to completely misunderstand one another. I have no idea what will pull you guys out of that time, other than you just have to keep having the conversations. Austin and I have just continued to share what bothers us over and over. It is frustrating, completely annoying, and makes us both angry at times. We just keep trying to communicate ourselves to one another over the course of time. Sometimes we fight about the issue, and then see an actual break through in our communication. Some of the communication honestly has to happen on your end. You have to actually understand how something is making you feel to the point that you can clearly communicate it. You may think you are communicating your feelings, but in reality, you are assuming that your spouse knows more than they do.

      Keep working at it! Try not to lose heart. I know it sucks. Thanks for commenting. I always appreciate you.

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