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Why We’re Shocked When Someone Commits Suicide

Want to know why so many people say, “I didn’t know they were struggling” when someone commits suicide? It’s because that person felt like they would be judged. And why shouldn’t they feel that way?

We’ve been taught that if you just pray more or love the Lord more, or find joy or any amount of nonsense, that we’ll stop feeling depressed. Instead of seeing those emotions as a warning sign that something is wrong with a person’s health, they see it as a point of shame.

They don’t want anyone’s pat answers. And, they don’t want to have their spouse or family go under severe interrogation about their depression. If people could openly talk about depression and the stuff going on in their lives, I think we wouldn’t be as shocked when someone takes their life. We won’t say, “I didn’t even know they were depressed. They looked like they had their life together.”

Newsflash, depressed people know how to put on a show just like the rest of us. If you want people to be honest with you and share what’s going on in their life, then you have to be honest, too. You have to put yourself out there and admit to the darkest feelings you have and share things you’ve stuffed in your closet.

I bring all of this up because a friend of mine shared a story of a pastor that took his life last week. His name is Andrew. Here’s his last sermon.

Want to know why this breaks my heart so much? Because Pastors and their families already feel isolated and alone. It’s very hard for ministry staff to find real friends at their church. So, when they are going through the biggest crisis of their lives, they have no one they feel they can trust to talk about it.

I encourage you to develop real relationships with others. If you look at someone and think, “They’ve got it altogether”, then that’s a good indication that you aren’t close to them whatsoever. You’ve likely never gone beyond the surface with them. To build trust with someone, you have to be vulnerable.

Let’s Get to Know Each Other!

I don’t think I’ve ever done this before but let’s do introductions. Leave me a comment introducing yourself. Here’s a bit about me.

I’m Keelie. I’m an extreme extrovert and I need to be around people as much as possible.

I’m married to my high school sweetheart Austin. We’ve been in a relationship for 21 years. We raise our three boys, Corbin, Tripp, and Braden in the DFW area.

I was a stay at home, homeschooling, work from home mom for a long time. Last year, we sent all our boys to public school for the first time. It was a hard transition for me. There were many reasons I stopped homeschooling them, but the biggest reason is that I couldn’t work full time.

I’ve been working from anywhere for over 5 years. I started out as a copywriter on Fiverr, making $4 an hour. I’ve proven you can make the gig based economy work for you.

I’ve grown the business to the point it pays me a full-time income, Austin a part-time income, and a team of 15-20 freelancers a flexible part-time income of their choosing. Because of that, we named our business R5 Website Management and we are refining the services we offer to our clients.

Because of the opportunities God has given me to increase my income online, we had the ability to move to Texas last year to live near our best friends. We came here to build community with them and run his marketing department part-time. It’s been an amazing addition to our business and has opened many doors for us.

I run a marriage blog, Love, Hope, Adventure, where I talk about Intimacy in marriage and how you can go deeper with your spouse. We created the 5 Foundations of Intimacy in Marriage course to help couples. Also, I run another blog. I Am The Sex Talk Lady, where I openly talk about sex from a Christian perspective.

When I’m not running the business, blogging, and loving on my kids – I’m lifting weights at the gym, cooking grain free, dairy free foods, or spending time with my best friends on the planet.

Men Want to Sexually Please Their Wives

I find it very interesting that the #2 post on my other website, I Am The Sex Talk Lady, is 3 Tips on How to Please Your Wife Sexually. Consequently, I get a lot of searches like-

  • how do I please my wife for sex
  • how to please your wife sexually Christian
  • how to please wife sexually
  • how to sexually please your wife
  • how can I please my wife
  • how to pleased wife sexually

and the list goes on…

These searches are taken straight from my analytics. Know what it tells me? There are a lot of Godly men out there that really want to take care of their wives sexually. To me, it dispels the myth that all men want from women is to take care of their sexual needs. It’s obvious that there are a lot of men who truly want to understand their wife and how to make them feel amazing.

Unfortunately, two positions down, the post What to do When Sex Feels Like a Chore. And the searches the bring men to the site for that are:

  • wife is not in the mood
  • wife feels like sex is a chore
  • chore sex
  • how to get wife in the mood

I know that there are women in this same position with their husbands. They have a low drive husband who’s rarely in the mood and they want to know how to please them. I haven’t personally spoken to those subjects, so no one is coming to my site about it. But J over at Hot Holy Humorous has spoken on the topic many times. Like in her post, High Drive Wives Are Not Crockpots.

It’s just a reminder to me that sex is very complicated and that when I feel like I’ve written about the subject enough, there’s so much left to say. Sometimes I wonder if I’m beating a dead horse with all of the advice and information I provide about sex. But, then, I see the heart of my readership and realize they are still desperately searching for answers. So I’ll write on.

Why I’m Not Buying 4 Weeks to a More Productive Life But Maybe You Should

I hear people say this all the time, I wish I was more productive. Around here, I pay my bills off of my ability to produce. When my production is low, my income is low. It really does add a lot of stress to me when things are piling up and I’m falling further behind.

You don't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn to be productive. You can take action and get a lot done.

However, I’d consider myself to be a highly productive person in general. I get a lot done from day to day and I have ways to catch up when I get behind. 

Crystal Paine is Releasing Her Latest Course

As you know, Crystal Paine is my #1 favorite blogger. I’ve followed her for 12 years now and I tune in to what she has to say all the time. She’s poured into my life with a lot of valuable information. I’ve taken just about every single course she’s ever offered.

Why I’m Not Buying 4 Weeks to a More Productive Life

But here’s the thing, I didn’t take the 4 Weeks to a More Productive Life Course when she offered it last year, even though she did it live. I know myself, and I know I’m just not going to connect with what she teaches.

I’ve read every single productivity post and tried every idea she’s ever put on the blog. Normally, I can’t stick with any of it and I go back to my usual productive ways. That is not to say that you won’t find her methods insanely helpful because hundreds and hundreds of people have.

She’s really amazing at helping people visualize their goals and take actionable steps to get stuff done. It’s something I really really appreciate about her. She’s a girl that can absolutely run circles around me as far as productivity.

Crystal Has Changed How She Gets Things Done

When I first started following her, I was floored by her work ethic and accomplishments. She is the same age as me, has the same number of kids, homeschooled them at the time, made all her own food, couponed, ran a successful business and on and on. I’m convinced she never slept (and based off her own confessions, I don’t think she did much).

But that Crystal is no more. The one that gets stuff done at all costs. The one that gets up at 4am to do everything on the checklist. The one that put her health last. Now, Crystal is a woman that knows her limits and sets realistic expectations on life as much as any person can.

Why You Might Want to Buy Her Course

And that’s not what this course is about- getting up at the butt crack of dawn and running yourself to the moment you go to bed. She has put together a course that can be customized to your life and your desires.

As a blogger, there’s this rule of thumb that you are never supposed to promote things you wouldn’t buy. I think that’s crap. I love Crystal. She creates stellar products. I’ve bought tons of her courses and read her blog like it’s going out of style forever (and you know I only skim things).

I know there are a lot of you that are discouraged and beat down over how little you feel you’re getting done in a day. And Crystal is the girl that knows how to encourage you in this. I’m no good at encouraging others when they don’t feel productive or like they’re getting enough done. But Crystal is a girl that gets it and will come alongside you.

So, if you want to grab your copy, I suggest you do it today because it’s only $7. On Friday it will shoot up to $17. I definitely think that if you are the kind of person that needs someone to kick them in the pants, then this course is for you.

Create a Memorable Slideshow For Your Spouse

I’m a big advocate of DIY gifts for your spouse. In the past, I’ve taken pictures of our kids and of us to create great gifts for Austin. Today, I invited Nely Broad on to share some ideas about how to put together a picture slideshow for your spouse.

I'm a big advocate of DIY gifts for your spouse. In the past, I've taken pictures of our kids and of us to create great gifts for Austin.

Here’s what she has to say-

If it is your spouse’s birthday or another special day, how about gifting him a slideshow of the highlights of your marriage? A great slideshow program is Movavi. Get the Mac version here- https://www.movavi.com/slideshow-maker-for-mac/.  They’re going to love looking at the slideshow you create and it will help you both feel more connected.

Tips for creating the best slideshow for your spouse

1. Find The Highlights

When you’re putting together the slideshow you will be tempted to put grab every single picture you come across. In our day and age, that’s a lot of pictures! That’s why you need to streamline the photos you choose. Think about the highlights of your relationship and then look for those first.

2. Combine Pictures

As you will feel like including all the pictures of the couples, it is always wise to pare down things and combine several photos which make a good video. Remember the recipient should feel interested to watch the video.

For example, if you had gone on honeymoon to Hawaii, how about including few pictures of your trip so that you can reminisce those memories? Also, don’t forget to add pictures of family and friends who have been a vital part of your lives.

3. Personalize the Slideshow

Something that will add up to the emotion of the video is the captions that you add to the images. How about including few title cards which just contain text? These are places where you can express whatever you want to say with words. In case you’re not much good with writing, you can copy down quotes which speak of your feelings.

I personally like to use PicMonkey for editing images. You can even download the app on your phone if you want to add simple text. But for more advanced edits and combining images, you’ll need to use your computer. Check it out below.

PicMonkey: crazy-awesome photo editing

Other Photo Gifts You Might Consider

Apart from making slideshow videos for your spouse, here are few other ideas that you might consider.

1. Travel mugs

Are they a coffee lover? If so, a personalized travel mug is a great gift. Print out your favorite photos and use them to decorate a travel mug that is designed to hold photographs. Be sure you hand wash the mug rather than putting it in the dishwasher.

2. Photo Plate

A decorative plate would be a great idea if they need pictures for their office or an area of the home they spend a lot of time in. Decorative plates can sit on a table, desk or shelf. Also, you can hang them on the wall to add variety to traditional photo frames.  

3. Photo Notepad

Do they love to plan things and jot them down so that they don’t miss them? If you answered yes, you can give them a notepad that has a special memory or collage on the outside cover. This is a perfect thing for the office or for jotting down notes from the Sunday morning sermon.

These products are a great way to take your precious memories and turn them into tangibles. They’ll love sporting these things to work or in their daily life. We all love to be reminded of the things that make us happy during the day.

Marriage Resources to Help You Go Deeper

I know how hard it is to focus on your marriage. Just this week, Austin and I have realized that we are letting intimacy between us slip through the cracks. We are just so dang busy! And frankly, it needs to stop. We have to make our sex lives priority.

Last year, we created a marriage course because we know other couples are in the same place as us. They know that they need to make changes in their marriage but just need a little guidance. Our marriage course is designed to go over 5 different areas of your relationship:

  • Communication
  • Friendship
  • Romance
  • Sex
  • Finance

5 Foundations for Intimacy in Marriage Video Course

Communication, Friendship, Romance, Sex Life, Finances: They are both our greatest strengths and our biggest potential pitfalls. This video course will walk you and your spouse through real-life questions about each of these relationship foundations. Each section includes 4-5 short videos, questions to go over as a couple, and a fun activity to put everything into practice. Plus, you’ll get access to our private Facebook group for ongoing discussion!

 

 

 

Coming Up With The Perfect Proposal For Your Future Wife

There are some people I know that are contemplating marriage. It is an exciting time, but also one full of stress. There’s so much planning to do, but it doesn’t get serious until the proposal has taken place.

I always think back to how Austin proposed to me in these times. He preached a sermon, and at the end of it, proposed to me in front of our church. It was such a blessing and huge undertaking.

This is the only proposal experience I really have. So I invited Katie Jones from orlajames.com on to share with us her idea of planning a perfect proposal.

Here’s what she has to say about it.- 

Proposing with a ring in a champagne glass while out having dinner in your better half’s favorite restaurant has been done to death, but still very popular. If you are looking for a perfect proposal idea, here’s a few ways you can come up with something creative-

Put Yourself in Your Partner’s Shoes

Understand what would really make her day. These are a few things to ask yourself-

  • What would surprise her?
  • What would make her feel like the most loved person in the whole world?
  • Should you propose in the place where you first met, or on the anniversary of your first date?
  • Would she love a loud proposal with a crowd watching, or would she prefer something more intimate?
  • Does she want something that is quiet?
  • Would she like her family there?

The perfect proposal comes when you put in the time and effort to surprise your future wife. It is all about creating a moment of magic, a moment of pure emotion when your partner realizes that you are the man of her dreams.

Here are a few ways you can propose:

Candlelit Dinner and Fine Dining

There is nothing finer than proposing in a romantic restaurant setting with a backdrop of flickering candles. A romantic dinner for two, served by impeccably dressed waiters and soft romantic music filling the air is always nice.

The spotlight will be firmly on you two, which makes the occasion even more special. You can expect some clapping and cheering when she says yes and leaps in your arms. Round it up with a romantic dance as you two get lost in the moment.

Go for the Dramatic

Depending on the type of person you are proposing to, going for a loud and dramatic proclamation of your love could be the best move.

Here’s a few ideas-

  1. Propose at half time during a football game
  2. Do it at a concert or with airplane letters in the sky

It would be even better if done at the concert of her favorite band or at a game of her favorite team.

Sometimes the best form of flattery is taking the spotlight and shining it brightly on your loved one. Would she want the whole world to take notice for the occasion to be truly special? Make the news and you’ve done it.

Plan an Unforgettable Vacation Proposal

What makes a vacation proposal incredibly romantic is that it opens up a whole range of picturesque settings that could provide the perfect backdrop for a proposal. On top of that, if you are really clever, you could pick a spot where you the two of you are the only ones there and then propose. What could be more romantic than a proposal on the white sandy beaches of Bali with no one else around for miles?   

If you’ve been on vacations together before, you should propose in a destination that holds special significance to you. There is nothing like rekindling old memories while creating new ones. Propose at the place where you had your first kiss, or the place where you had your first fight. Remember the vacation you two took years back when you wished that you could stay there forever? The significance of your proposal’s destination won’t be lost on your partner.  

A Night-in With a Romantic Home Cooked Meal

 Having a night-in with your special someone, with a home cooked meal, some great music, candles, dancing and the whole shebang. This would be even more special if you are someone who doesn’t cook. This would tell her that you really made an effort. You already know what kind of music she likes. Just pick the food and flowers that you think will compliment it. 

If two people are in love, an intimate proposal at home is bound to be magical. Such a proposal makes the occasion about your special someone, only about her. It’s incredibly romantic, intimate and personal.

Katie Jones loves to write, travel, practice yoga and read at any available moment! Adores living by the sea in Brighton UK with all of it’s creative opportunities that it brings.

What Happened to the Lingerie Challenge?

I don’t know if you remember me saying I was thinking about doing lingerie challenge, but that’s about as far as I got. My thought was, I would commit to wearing lingerie every day for 7 days to see what would happen.

Lingerie for men and women

For example, would we have more sex? Or would it become commonplace and the same thing as wearing pj’s to bed? Also, I wanted to see if it made me feel any different before sex. I know a lot of ladies who wear lingerie as a way to help themselves get excited.

We went out of town for our anniversary and I fully intended to make that the start of my lingerie challenge. But, we got home and it fell through. One of the problems I had was coming up with enough lingerie to actually take my own challenge.

I had actually just received a nighty from Honoring Intimates. I really love that they put all of the lingerie on plastic models so that they are appropriate. And, the tags on the clothes do not have pictures of women wearing the lingerie. Even with that addition, I was about 3 days short of having a week’s worth of lingerie.

When I pitched this idea, I had a great reader put this survey together for us and they’ve been really patient with me while I’ve been trying to get caught up. If you want to join in the survey fun, go here to share your input on the role lingerie plays in your sex life. All responses are 100% anonymous.

Go here to take the survey. 


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