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10 Marriage Tips I Wish I Knew 15 Years Ago

Although I’ve been married for 15 years, I only recently had some marriage revelations a few years ago. You can learn quite a bit about a person when you spend that much time with them. You also learn a lot about them that you didn’t know before you got married.

If we’re all honest with ourselves, we have no idea what we’re doing in this thing called marriage. When we get married, we try the best we can and hope everything turns out okay. But, it can be more than just okay! I want to share 10 bits of marriage advice that I wish I figured out earlier in marriage.

1. You Are A Team

When you live together you learn a lot about one another. Sometimes things happen in life that cause you to disagree and fight against one another. Remember, you are a team and working together is a win for your marriage. I wish I made the decision early on to keep this mindset.

2. Make Time to Initiate Sex

Early on in our marriage, I rarely let my husband know I wanted sex. I basically waited for him to make the move. Now, several year later, I understand the importance of both us making time to get excited about making love.

3. Sex Isn’t Just About Making Babies

When you both feel you’re ready to have children, it’s easy to make every moment all about making babies. Although it’s a special time for both of you, this mindset is a quick way to take the fun out of making love.

4. Put Some Distance Between You and the In-Laws

This is one I actually did right! We never lived near either set of parents. This made it easier to avoid drama or unannounced visits.

5. Don’t Let Anger Consume You

I don’t find it difficult to forgive so I did not think holding onto anger would be an issue. Through the course of our marriage, we both did some things that resulted in hurt feelings. I struggled with some anger and held grudges that I shouldn’t have.

6. Consider Your Spouse’s Thoughts

It’s easy to think that your spouse is intentionally causing you some pain. But the real issue is that you may have some things you need to work through. Sit down and talk it out. Your spouse may not realize they did something to offend you.

7. Indulge Each Other’s Daydreams

Even if you’re not a daydreamer, it’s a good idea to encourage your spouse if they enjoy doing that. While it may sound unrealistic to you, it’s important not to squash their hopes and dreams.

8. Flirt With Each Other

When we were first dating, I made googly eyes at my husband quite often. When we got married, I didn’t do it anymore. Years later, I realized that it’s so important to find little ways to flirt.

9. Tackle Finances Together

I handled the finances for several years after we got married. My husband didn’t have a desire to do any of it. Now, we both take part in the responsibility and it’s made us aware of how we budget and save.

10. Say Thank You Every Day

It’s easier to go about your day and settle in your routine without thinking about it. Saying two simple words makes a huge difference in your relationship. It’s encouraging to both of you and strengthens your relationship.

 

These are 10 of the most important pieces of marriage advice that I wish I knew before I got married. They’re simple things that strengthen your marriage and bring you closer together.

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Body Jewelry Makes Great Lingerie

I really love to wear big pieces of jewelry that stand out. Certain types of jewelry can take a simple outfit and turn it into something that is dressed up.

I’ve had some pieces that hook around my neck and hang down to my waist like a shirt. That’s why I wanted to try this jewelry shirt. (ignore the scantily clad women).

Big Jewelry Makes Great Lingerie

Finding lingerie that fits can be a challenge. I’ve said before that jewelry can be a great alternative to lingerie. Accessories are a great alternative for guys for lingerie, too. Seeing as how there is very little in the way of lingerie options for men, accessories is about all you have anyways.

Use Jewelry as a Tease

If you have a piece of jewelry that you generally wear during sex, why not wear it out on date night. It is a great way to tease your spouse and build anticipation for what’s to come later on. Besides, jewelry can be out in the open and no one will even know what’s going on.

Here’s a picture of my new jewelry shirt on our date out in San Francisco. As you can see, it’s completely appropriate!

body jewelry can be used as lingerie and out in public

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Some Things You’ll Learn The First Year Of Marriage

My husband and I dated for a little over five years. Once we got married I didn’t realize just how much different marriage would be. My now husband and I was very familiar with each other, but we still learned some new things about each other that first year.

My husband and I dated for a little over five years. Once we got married I didn’t realize just how much different marriage would be. My now husband and I was very familiar with each other, but we still learned some new things about each other that first year.

1.  Sharing Rooms Can Be Hard

My husband and I had never really shared rooms before and that can kinda made it hard. Especially delegating a place for everything. It can be difficult trying to find a happy medium.

2. Chores Are For Everyone

Once we got married we had to come up with a plan for getting the chores done. Living on your own is different because you are now responsible for the entire household. It is best to sit down and come up with a plan beforehand to save yourself some future trouble.

3. Sleeping in a Bed Together Is Hard

Depending on the personalities bed sharing can be hard. I am a light sleeper and my husband likes to squirm around more than I like. Some nights I still do not know how to handle his squirminess.

4. You Have to Clean up After Sex

Very seldom have I ever heard someone say that sex is messy. I’m not sure how I missed this fact. Once your lovemaking is over stuff can get very messy and you are going to need to clean up. I think Sheila breaks a lot of myths in her book, The Good Girl’s Guide to Great Sex.

5. Planning Your Holidays

My spouse and I used to spend all holidays with our own family without sharing. Holidays can cause a lot of conflicts when you first get married if you do not plan ahead. Planning out your holiday schedules and keeping your family informed will help keep the disagreements at bay.

6. We Both Have Unique Taste

I did not realize that once I was married I would have to figure out how to style rooms that suited the both of us. Decorating can be hard when you have different taste in style. Another hard one is cooking, especially if one has a much wider palette than the other.

7. They Say Opposites Attract

I have always heard that opposites attract, but it can be very difficult if your a morning person and your spouse is a night owl. There is a learning curve when it comes to the different personalities and learning how to work together. It will take time and patience.

 

That first year of marriage is spent learning everything about each other. Even with all the challenges, I did enjoy my first year of marriage!

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What to do When Your Spouse Changes For The Worst

What happens when you suddenly wake up and wonder what happened to the person you married? It can be very unsettling and frustrating to realize that the person you fell in love with is not the same inside as they were when you got married.

What happens when you suddenly wake up and wonder what happened to the person you married? It can be very unsettling and frustrating to realize that the person you fell in love with is not the same inside as they were when you got married.

Some change is a good thing and that can be positive for the person. But what are you supposed to do when your spouse makes changes that you don’t consider to be positive? That might be something had for you to deal with.

Over time, everyone changes, whether we know it or not. Hopefully, these things can happen when a change occurs that you aren’t a fan of.

Have Patience With Your Spouse

The changes you see in your spouse might not be perpetual. We all go through those “rock and a hard place” moments and you’re not sure if it’s going to pass. If the changes just happened and haven’t been going on for very long, maybe give them some time. It might be that they are going through a difficult and time will go back to how they have always been.

Try To Find The Bright Side When There Is a Change

Try to find the good in the changes that you have taken note of. Try not to dwell solely on the bad, it doesn’t all have to be a negative change. It might take a little bit of time, but try to get some different perspective on the changes.

Support Them in Being Their True to Themselves

I know it can be hard to encourage your spouse to live their true self with you aren’t entirely happy with the change. You don’t want to damage your marriage by making someone feel bad about themselves. No one wants to feel unloved because of who they have become.

Don’t Attempt To Change Them

I know this is difficult, but trying to change a person doesn’t work. Understand that people are going to do what they want and you can’t change them. It is inevitably up to the person to change. Understand that they might not be aware of the ways that they have changed. So have an open dialogue about it without attacking them.

Address Issues, Not Identity Qualities

If you have an issue with something your spouse is doing or saying, you need to address it. You need to know going into the conversation not to attack their personality. If something is truly bothering you with a change that has happened.

No one ever stays the same, change is something that happens to everyone. Allow your spouse to be who they are and, in spite of changes, love them. Marriage can be difficult and it’s up to both of you to communicate and fight for each other.

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Help Your Spouse With Their Body Image Issues

I’m a huge proponent of spouses supporting each other through body image issues. I think this is something both husbands and wives deal with. Having a poor image of yourself affects so many areas of your life.

I asked Jennifer Dawson to share a few of her tips on how to help your spouse with these issues.

Here is what she has to say-

 Body image issues affect many individuals during one stage of their life or another. According to DoSomething.org, 91% of American females are unhappy with their bodies, but, when your partner is experiencing severe body image issues, it’s vital you stand by your vows and support them through it. After all, the key to a healthy marriage is love, communication and comforting each other in sickness and in health.

Body image issues affect many individuals during one stage of their life or another. According to DoSomething.org, 91% of American females are unhappy with their bodies, but, when your partner is experiencing severe body image issues, it’s vital you stand by your vows and support them through it. After all, the key to a healthy marriage is love, communication and comforting each other in sickness and in health.

Listen To Their Complaints

It’s important you take the time to understand how your spouse perceives their body and the root cause of any issues they have. Ask questions to help boost your understanding and ensure you give your partner the opportunity to speak up and express their true feelings.


When your partner expresses dissatisfaction about their body, it’s easy to respond by saying the way they’re feeling isn’t true and isn’t how you see them; however, this often doesn’t make them feel any better about their appearance. Instead, praise them on non appearance related traits and characteristics as this will enhance their confidence and show you love and care for them.

Find Ways to Support Them

Your other half may decide to take action to transform their body image and to improve their self-confidence. Whether they opt to start a new diet, take on an intense fitness routine or are keen on aesthetic and cosmetic body adaptation options, you should provide support and encouragement at all times.

Things you can do to show your support are to help keep their diet on track by changing your eating habits, join your partner on their morning run and read up on surgical procedures together so you can have an open and frank discussion about them, as well as reviewing the cost.

Spend One on One Time Together

When something as significant as body image is affecting you, it can be difficult to think of anything else. This is where spouses play a vital role as when you recognize that your partner is having a particularly bad day. Make a conscious effort to pick your partner up by treating them to a special day out. Limit your influences.

Don’t take your spouse to the beach or a store with half-naked people if it feeds their poor self-image. Instead, head to the movie or enjoy a long stroll in the park together where you can make the most of some quality time together.

Understanding your partner’s body issues is essential in supporting them. To do this you need to communicate with your spouse and ask appropriate probing questions regarding their concerns. You should show encouragement for any decisions they make and, where possible, take their mind off the way they’re feeling by enjoying some one to one time together.


Best Gifts For Baby Showers (Off The Registry)

I’m pretty practical when it comes to baby gifts. Generally, I give medicines like teething tablets, gas pills, and Tylenol. Not fun or cute, but everyone needs those things. There are plenty of people that want to really spoil the baby and for them, unique gifts are important.

I’m pretty practical when it comes to baby gifts. Generally, I give medicines like teething tablets, gas pills, and Tylenol. Not fun or cute, but everyone needs those things. There are plenty of people that want to really spoil the baby and for them, unique gifts are important.

I invited Sumeet on to share with 5 unique gifts you can buy.

1.Personalized Children’s Books

It doesn’t get anymore personal that actually having a book written about the baby-to-be. These books come in an array of packages and categories like “ABC’s With Me!” (0-3 years old). The book will of course highlight the baby’s name throughout the story so hopefully the parents have disclosed the baby’s name already! If so, here’s a perfect first gift. For more details, click on readyourstory.com.

2. Personalized Embroidered Storage Tote

You have to count on the fact that many people are going to buy the baby clothes and toys that they’re not going to be able to really get good use out of for probably the next year or so. In that case, you can think outside the box and buy the baby a little basket with his or her name on it, in which the parents can keep all of the baby toys! The basket can be used for pretty much anything and you can even fill it up with something like diapers to hand over as the gift.

3. Personalized Baby Milestone Blanket

As long as this is something the parents haven’t already covered, feel free to purchase a milestone blanket that states the baby’s name and the different months and years. This is used to take pictures of the baby as he or she hits the different age milestones. A popular trend with today’s babies, this is something you can be assured will get good use of over the next few years.

4.Humorous Baby Onesies

Everyone loves a cute baby in a funny outfit. Here you can find onesies that say things like “I’m not allowed to date. Ever”; “World’s cutest tax deduction”; and “There’s a nap for that”. Just because babies can’t dress themselves, doesn’t mean they shouldn’t dress well. Help them out and get them an outfit people will smile about.

5. Hospital Survival Kit

If you want to think really differently than most people about what to give the mother-to-be at her baby shower, consider buying or making her a hospital survival kit. While most people are thinking about the baby that’s coming into the world, you can’t forget about the mom and all the suffering she’s going to go through during labor (though of course it’ll all be worth it in the end). Hospital survival kits can include things like magazines, gum, mints, face wipes, chapstick, candy, and other goodies you know the mama will enjoy.

If you want your gift to be out of the ordinary, these ideas are sure to do that.

For All The Moms Who Never Got To Hold Their Baby

Mother’s Day always brings mixed emotions in me. I love that we get to celebrate moms and everything they do. But there are a lot of moms and would be moms that experience a lot of pain on this day. They either tried to have babies and couldn’t, or they lost the ones they had before they could hold them.

I know you are out there…sitting in the church service and remaining in your seat while all the moms around you stand up. I know how badly you want to stand with them. But, you know if you do, it will raise more questions than you want to answer.

Or maybe you are looking at Facebook at all of the Mother’s Day wishes and you know they aren’t for you. You want to say something, but you don’t think you can.

Today, I’m thinking about you. I know it’s not much to offer. But, you are not forgotten.

Tips For Picking The Right Music For Sex

In the past few years, my husband and I introduced music into the time we spend together. There are a few reasons why it took a while to get used to. Music can either positively affect your time, or hinder it. Music can also be a great addition to sex if you consider a few factors first.

In the past few years, my husband and I introduced music into the time we spend together. There are a few reasons why it took a while to get used to. Music can either positively affect your time, or hinder it. Music can also be a great addition to sex if you consider a few factors first.
The Rhythm Should Feel Right

Most people naturally move their bodies to the beat of the music. Our bodies just naturally flow with whatever the music’s rhythm happens to be. People typically pick fast music for running or quiet music for reading.

 

It’s a good idea to pick music that is slow for sex. This not only sets the tone beforehand, but it will maintain a steady rhythm during intercourse. Ultimately, pick the music that’s perfect for the both of you.

Lyrics May Not Be the Best Option

We all love “that one song.” Or two, or ten! So many songs have lyrics that we know and love. For me, if I hear a song that I know really well, singing is not optional. I’m going to do it. Therefore, it’s difficult to focus on other things I am doing at the time. So, if you’re playing music during sex that contains distracting lyrics, it’s best to just steer clear.

 

If you do choose to go with lyrics, try to stick with songs that center around positive love; definitely not depressing topics. You want your time with your spouse to be enjoyable and focused on each other.

Songs That Are Nostalgic

Just like we have those songs we know and love, there are songs that really bring up past events in our lives. Be mindful when choosing these songs. For example, stay away from those songs that mark romantic relationships of your past. You want to stay focused on your spouse.

 

If you and your spouse have certain songs that bring fond memories to mind, it’s a wonderful idea to consider using those songs. Whatever keeps you focused on one another is a good thing.

Instrumental Jazz Music

Although not everyone likes this type of music, instrumental jazz is my personal preference for romantic music. While this type tends to have quick and upbeat tempos, there are plenty of slow and quiet selections of jazz music. If you love jazz, I recommend choosing selections that have saxophone and slow beats.

 

Jazz isn’t your thing? That’s just fine! Instrumental music comes in various forms. There are plenty of playlists you can search for that contain beautiful compilations of instrumental music. Try a few out and find your perfect one.

Easy Listening Tunes

The key to choosing easy listening tunes is to be sure both the music and the lyrics are soft. The tempo should remain the same so that it doesn’t speed up and throw you off. I recommended listening to some selections beforehand, if you’re not sure.

 

When choosing music for sex, the best thing to keep in mind is choosing selections that won’t be distracting. Consider keeping your phone close to you if you’re using a playlist on there. This way, you can easily adjust the volume or shut it off completely if it’s killing the mood. Keep the conversation open with your spouse when it comes to choosing music. That way both of you are aware of each other’s wants or needs.