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5 Ways to Be More Intimate During Sex

I know that it seems like having sex is intimate enough, but there are plenty of couples that have sex that are disconnected. If you make it all about your own physical pleasure, then you’re missing out. God designed this activity between a husband and wife to bond them together and create deeper intimacy in the relationship all the way around.

Here are things you can do to be more intimate during sex:

1. Lights On, Eyes Open

Really look at your spouse during this time. That means you’re going to have to turn on the lights and open your eyes. I’m not saying there can’t be times when you close your eyes and focus on the feelings, but don’t spend the entire time with your eyes closed.

If you are used to always having time together with the lights way down low, I encourage you to make it brighter. Using mirrors is helpful, too. Watching you and your love be physical is a very intimate thing to do.

2. Tell Them Something Encouraging

There are times to focus on your spouse’s body and other times to focus on their mind. Spend a few minutes telling them something you love about them. Encouraging them while you are in a tangled mess makes the moments even more intimate.

Know when to stop talking and focus on pleasing their body. This is a good conversation to have ahead of time. Ask your spouse if they like for you to talk and how much.

3. Visualize Them

If you are in a position where you can’t see them or you’re nearing the point of bliss where you need to close your eyes, visualize your spouse. This is when using mirrors really comes in handy. When you have seen what it looks like for you and your spouse to be physically involved, these visions can be brought to mind during times like this.

Another thing you can do is visualize them doing or something something that makes you feel loved. You can think back to something nice they have done for you earlier that day, or just something in general that you love.

4. Stop and Hug

Don’t rush through your times of intimacy. I loved what J at Hot Holy Humorous said about that in her article on how to be more intimate during lovemaking. She said, don’t rush things. It’s not all about the big finish. Find ways to draw things out and really enjoy your time.

I suggest that you stop moving, and simply hug one another. This is as close as your two bodies can get physically, and you can stop to relish in the moment.

5. Carve Out More Time

Not every time you have sex needs to be a marathon, but give yourself more time to be together. Instead of leaving yourselves 20 minutes before you fall into the bed at night, carve out more time. That might mean you need to cut out some of your evening activities.

Spending more time during lovemaking brings intimacy. You can focus on one another’s bodies for longer, get into multiple positions, and try new things. When you leave yourself very little time, routines tend to take over.

These are simple ways to be more intimate during sex. What are some ideas that you have? Let me know in the comments section.

How To Create A Kitchen That You Can’t Wait To Wake Up To

We made the decision a few months ago that we would not go let any dishes pile up beside the sink. It’s been tough, let me tell you. But, it’s been so good, also. Instead of getting up every morning with piles of dishes, we are able to function for breakfast.

I asked Jennifer Dawson to share with us a few of her tips on how to wake up to a kitchen you love. Here’s what she has to say-

 

The kitchen is often the first port of call in the morning, as the search for caffeine to kick-start the day begins. It’s a place that is purposely designed to help you refuel and restore in comfort as you get ready for the day ahead. Love them or loathe them, mornings are tough. But, if your kitchen has just the right mix of space and functionality then your morning routine is already one step ahead of the rest.

Start Your Day The Right Way

Starting your day with a hot cup of coffee is actually more beneficial to your health than you might think. A study by the BMJ British Medical Journal found that coffee consumption lowers the risk of diseases such as cancer, diabetes and depression, among others. Having a coffee machine in your kitchen will give your morning a much needed boost while improving your health at the same time.

It’s easy to convert your kitchen to a coffee house when there are so many different coffee machines available on the market today.  Life gets so hectic from time to time and so it’s important to make your kitchen as calm and stress-free as possible so that you don’t start the day on the wrong foot.

The Vital Ingredients For Kitchen Success

The kitchen is the heart of every home. It’s the one room in the house that everybody gravitates towards. It’s somewhere to get together with friends and family for dinner and drinks after the end of a busy day.

There are so many things to think about if you want to create the perfect kitchen in your home. Think storage, space and surface in order to really get the most out of your kitchen. You want to create an air of order and openness to make you feel on top of the world as soon as you enter the room.

The Proof Is In The Placement

There’s a perfect layout for all shapes of kitchen from L and U shaped kitchens to galley kitchens or kitchens with a central island unit. Regardless of what your kitchen is like, the most important thing to take on board is that your surfaces need to be as clear as possible.

It might seem like an additional chore to have to return everything to its rightful place each time you’re finished with it but once you have created the habit it will feel so worth it. Clearing clutter and simplifying your space is the quickest, easiest and cheapest way to kitchen bliss that there is.

What To Get The Spouse Who Has Everything

Is your spouse that person that has everything and you just don’t know what to get them? I was having this same conversation with my friend the other day. It can be really difficult to come up with what to get someone that is able to buy everything they need themselves. 

I asked Crystal Shepherd to come and share a few ideas she has. Here’s what she has to say-

Is your spouse that person that has everything and you just don't know what to get them? I was having this same conversation with my friend the other day. It can be really difficult to come up with what to get someone that is able to buy everything they need themselves. 

Christmas is one of the best times of year to buy people gifts and feel confident in what you’ve got them. But we do all have that one person that we just can’t seem to buy for. If you’re stumped and don’t know what to do, here’s a few ideas of what to get the person who has everything.

Game System or Other Games

Getting a game system or video game for the person that loves to play games may be a great idea. There’s always new games being released on a regular basis.

A popular game this year is Final Fantasy XV: A New Empire and it can also be downloaded it app form for them to play on the go if they wish to. If you’re looking for something a bit more futuristic, virtual reality is the way to go. Plus, they’re bound to love it. It will immerse them into a side of gaming they’ve never been to before.

If they aren’t a video game fanatic, maybe you can pick up another game they may enjoy. One of my favorites is called Watch Ya Mouth. This is a fun group game that you can play together.

Take a Trip Away

romantic weekend away is definitely a great experience based gift. Plus, if you think about it, it’s a little present for you as well as them. There’s so many different routes you could go down with this as well.

Book an overnight stay in a hotel that’s nearby and get a sitter for the kids. Or, you can take your kids to someone’s house and then spend your romantic weekend at your own house. You’d just have to make a rule that you aren’t going to do work around the house. 

Experience Based Gifts

There are so many experience days to choose from, you’ll literally be spoil for choice. Think about what you know this person likes. Are they quiet the artist, do they like motor racing. Whatever it is, there’s something out there for them in terms of an experience day.

If it’s motor racing they like, there’s plenty of supercar track days that will see them racing round a circuit at high speeds having the best time. There’s so many websites on the internet that’ll also offer a discount for a day. If you go straight to the provider you might fight it’s a little more expensive than you’re willing to pay.

If they’re more of an adventure type of person, there’s tones out there that’ll offer high rope agility courses, skydiving, things like that that’ll really get the heart racing. 

Handmade Gifts

This is something a little more personalized and meaningful. Rather than going to the shops and picking up anything you see, you can put time and effort you’ve put into making this present for them

Maybe you can knit a scarf, handmake jewelry, or some other type of useful craft. If your aren’t much of a crafter, put together a simple trail mix made out of some of their favorite candies and dried fruits or cereal. Maybe you can do a picture collage of the past year. There’s plenty of services that will put a book together for you.

Hopefully this article has gave you a few ideas to make this festive buying season a little easier for you.

How We Used Facebook Marketplace For Our Moving Sale

If you didn’t know, Austin and I made a huge move across the country this past year. We had to downsize…significantly. Normally, we don’t sell our things, but we needed the extra money to put towards the move. I’ve never done a yard sale before, so I didn’t really know how to sell our stuff.

Facebook Marketplace was just starting to gain popularity, so we decided to list some of our things. It didn’t take long at all for us to start selling things. In fact, it was the easiest platform we’ve ever sold on.

You can read more about how to sell your stuff on Facebook in my post on Money Saving Mom. Check it out below.

How to sell on Facebook Marketplace 

Totally Free Christmas Gift Ideas

Christmas is almost here, which means it’s time to think about gifts. If you are like us, then gifts can be difficult to afford. Over the years, we have done many free things for our kids and for one another. Here are some of the ideas that I suggest you try this year if you need a free Christmas gift ideas.

Free Kindle Books

Authors put their ebooks on sale to gain more exposure. In fact, I put my ebooks on sale about every 3 month for free. But, if you are looking for books that are always free, you can get many classics from Amazon for free.

You don’t have to have a Kindle in order to read these books. I have the Kindle app on my Android phone and they have it for iPhone as well. You can even read it on your computer.

If you give these books, then you can print off the cover of the book and put it in their stocking or a box. Don’t have a printer? Then just write down the list of books you downloaded.

Free Printables

There are any number of free printables you can download from bloggers around the web. Depending on what you are looking for, you should be able to find it.

For kids you can get:

For adults try:

It’s amazing what you can find with a simple Google search. Just put the words free printable in front of whatever you are looking for.

Make a Special Space

I’ve been known to create special spaces in our houses for the kids. One year, I turned a closet into a reading nook (it was a big closet). Set aside a space in your house for something special. You might set up an art station, craft area, gaming place, or anything they are interested in. Just use items in your house that you already own.

Right now, we have turned our garage into a living room area for the kids. It has been a work in progress, but everything in there came off the side of the road during bulk pick up weekends.

If it is for your spouse, maybe you can re-organize an area to fit something they need. Maybe they want a place to workout, sew, woodwork, or do other projects. Simply cleaning up the space and making if available is gift enough.

Give Things That Belongs To You

You don’t have to wait until you pass away to gift things to your children. Maybe you have something of value that you will want them to have one day, like a coin collection, gun, or piece of jewelry.

If you have small kids, you can put together a box of dress up clothes from things you no longer wear. Look through your closet and find old scarves, hats, ties, wallets, purses, shoes, and anything else they may be able to use.

Create an Experience

We try to do clutter free gifts as much as possible. Experience based gifts are a lot of fun, and don’t require you to spend money. You would need to make up coupons of some kind to share what the experience will be. If you have items that you will use for that night, you can go ahead and gather them together.

Here’s a few ideas:

  • Movie night- round up blankets, snacks, and anything else you have that would be great for a movie night. You can use a movie you already have or checkout one from the library. Just write down the title if you will have to check it out or wait for a free Redbox code.
  • Free museums- plan a day to visit some of the free museums in your area. If you are in a small town, then plan a trip to the closest city to you. On that day, be ready to pack food for your family so you don’t have to spend money.

 

  • Cooking lessons- you can let your children pick a recipe and then help you cook it. Give them a coupon for the number of lessons you are going to do with them. You can do this with any skill you have that you want to teach your kids in greater detail.

  • Library events- check out the free events that are going on at your local library. This past summer, we took our kids to a Harry Potter day at the library. They made all kinds of crafts and played games. It didn’t costs us at all. Most libraries are given a budget to do free things.

Find YouTube Tutorials

My kids have been really into origami in the past. I’ve located YouTube tutorials that my kids could watch and learn how to fold their paper. You can do this same concept with anything you think they would be interested in.

If your child likes magic, then find magic trick videos. Maybe they want to learn to play an instrument you already own. Or you can create a playlist of kid friendly dance moves.

For your spouse, you might consider finding tutorials to help them with a hobby they love. If they really enjoy sewing or crafts, look for tutorials of things they might want to try. If they are into photography, you can search out tips for that. Put it all in a playlist and share it with them on Christmas day.

Check Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist

People are always selling things on Facebook Marketplace and Craigslist. However, you can find free things on these platforms as well. We’ve picked up a coach off of Craigslist before. I regularly see things posts on Facebook Marketplace that are free as well.

You might be able to find something that you can gift someone in your family. Just be ready to clean it up or re-purpose it.

Put Together a Picture Slideshow

Sometimes you can get photo books for free. But, if there aren’t current deals, you can always put together a slideshow and show it to your family. You can even put it in a folder to share with them. I realized the other day that we take tons of pictures of our kids, but rarely show them to them. Bargain Hunters Blog would also help you with some cool ideas on creating your photo books.

Utilise the Library

The library is a great resource for your family. Sometimes, they are giving away free things you can take advantage of. It could be classes, storytimes, events, or free lunch programs. The library can be a good resource if you are building an experience based gift.

You can get books like these to help you put together those experiences:

  • Movies
  • Crafting book
  • Cook book
  • Science experiment book

Homemade Toys

There was a time that my kids thought I could make anything. In fact, they were super confused when I told them I could not, in fact, make a motorized toy. However, there are tons of easy toys you can make like:

  • Puppets– I’ve made the kids puppets before and made them a puppet theater out of a box. Also, I made them hobby horses one year by attaching a stuffed sock on the end of a PVC pipe we happened to have.
  • Washcloth animals
  • Store- instead of trashing your cereal boxes, pasta mix boxes, or anything cardboard, save it. You can take the food out of the boxes and tape up the ends. These types of items make for great grocery store toys.

Night of Romance

Austin and I are advocates of planning a night of romance on a regular basis. To help us remember to do that during Christmas, we hang a sexy stocking in our room. You can fill your stocking, or put together a box of things you already own to create your romantic night.

Here’s a few free sexy things you can add to the mix:

  • The Dating Divas – there are any number of free printables on their site.
  • Ultimate Intimacy app– there’s a free part to this app that will definitely get you excited.
  • Uncovering Intimacy- get Jay Dee’s Free Truth or Dare game.
  • Conversation Starters and Truth or Dare- sign up for my newsletters and I’ll send you a copy of my conversation starters for couples and truth or dare bedroom game.
  • Sex Adventure Generator– go over to Married Christian Sex and you can refresh the page to get new prompts every time.

Other Free Gift Ideas

Here’s a few more free gift ideas you might consider for your family or people that you know:

  • Chore coupons- make coupons to do the chores your family member hates
  • T-shirt scarf– just use an old t-shirt to make this. It needs to be seamless.
  • Sugar scrub- a basic sugar scrub is made with either white or raw sugar and oil. You can get fancy and add essential oils if you have them. Just add enough oil to wet down the sugar and put it in a container.
  • Bath bombs– these bath bombs are made from thing you might already have in your pantry.
  • Make snacks and treats from what you have.

These are some of my totally free Christmas gift ideas. What are ones that you have? Leave me a comment below.

Distracting Things That Happen During Intimacy

Have you ever been in the middle of intimacy with your spouse and had something happen that really distracted you? That’s me…all the time. I’ve worked really hard at eliminating distractions in the bedroom, but you can’t keep all things from happening.  

Have you ever been in the middle of intimacy with your spouse and had something happen that really distracted you? That’s me...all the time. I’ve worked really hard at eliminating distractions in the bedroom, but you can’t keep all things from happening.  

Here’s a few things that can be distracting-

Animals Get In The Mix

I finally just banished our dogs from the bedroom. There was no telling when they were going to walk over to the bed in the middle of things to check stuff out. Or, one of them would let go of a big one right near our heads.

If you have pets, I suggest you promptly kick them out. In fact, this could be the first hints to your spouse that you want to get it on.

Phones Ring or Notifications Go Off

Having your phone ring or random notifications go off during love making can certainly take your head out of the game. It’s best to put your phones on silent while you are together. If you have an old school phone, then take it off the hook for just a few.

Kids Knock On The Door

There may be no getting around this one, because I don’t recommend you put your kids out on the street. I do suggest that if you are going to be together while they are awake, you let your children know you aren’t available for a few. We’ve bred it in our kids since they were little, that if the door is closed, we need privacy.

Do what you can to handle the issues quickly. However, if this is an ongoing problem when you are having sex, then you need to figure out how to reduce interruptions. We’ve used television and video games for a long time to keep our kids entertained while we sneak away.

Your Mind Wanders Off

Jay Dee, over at Uncovering Intimacy, wrote about this today. He talked about the kinds of things that wind up distracting your mind while you are being intimate. If you are having a hard time being present during sex, then he’s got some great tips for you.

Too Much Talking or Noise

Making noises and talking during sex can be exciting. In fact, we put together a bedroom language worksheet that helps you come up with words to say that turn each other on. But, too much talking, or talking at the wrong times can kill the moment.

If you are having a hard time concentrating, because your spouse is being too vocal, then you need to have a conversation. Probably not in the moment if you have never shared this with them before. But, after you have had the conversation ahead of time, it’s ok to talk tell them in the moment what you need.

Something Embarrassing Happens

I laughed at the post J at Hot Holy Humorous wrote about embarrassing things that happen during sex. The comments were pure gold. Plenty of couples talked about bodily noises going down during the act. Others shared about struggling to get clothes off, or miscalculating when trying to move positions.

If something embarrassing happens, do the best you can to laugh about it and move on. It’s ok to have fun during sex.

Your Fitbit Congratulates You

If you have a Fitbit, then you know it throws you a big party when you reach your step goal. It buzzes for a straight 10 seconds. For whatever reason, it counts the movements you are making during sex as steps. So, you have a pretty good chance of it going off during the last moments of your day.

Light Shines You In The Face

Overhead lights are the worst when you are laying on the bed and looking up. If you are having sex with the lights on (and I hope you are), cut off the overhead and use a lamp. Lamps cast a much softer glow and keep you from rolling over and being beamed in the face.

You or Your Spouse Starts Sweating

Some stickiness and sweating is bound to happen during sex. But, too much can be a major turn off for some people. Figure out what you can do to make sure you are both comfortable with temperature. You might need to cut on a few fans, or cut down the air.

These are some of the distractions that come to my mind. I’m sure you have your own to add to the list. My encouragement to you is to address any distractions that happen a lot.

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6 Things You Can Make with Your Spouse to Build Friendship in Marriage


Keelie and I identify Friendship as one of the 5 Foundations for Intimacy in Marriage. We believe that having your own interests is important to cultivating friendship in marriage. However, shared interests are just as vital, if a little trickier to work out. 

Making something together is a fantastic way to build a friendship. There’s just something about creating something together that bonds people together. Here are a few ideas to help kick-start your creativity so you and your spouse can find a new hobby. 

Start a garden

Keelie and I have had some form of a garden in every home we’ve ever lived in. Neither of us had a lot of gardening knowledge when we started, but we learned a lot together. This was not only a fun thing for us to do as a couple, it became something the kids could do with us as well.

There’s a lot of benefits to gardening. Obviously, your family ends up with the benefit of fresh produce in the home. The time spent in the garden planting, learning, and harvesting builds precious memories that you won’t find in many other places.

Cook a new meal

friendship in marriage through cooking

One side effect of having a garden at your home is that you end up with a lot of seasonal food. One year, we had more tomatoes and green beans than we knew what to do with! We found ourselves getting kind of creative with how to use all these amazing vegetables.

Is there a recipe you’ve been wanting to try out, maybe for a special occasion? Try cooking it with your spouse! This can not only make a great at-home date night, it’s just a fun experience all around.

Construct something

If one of you is the carpenter of the family, invite the other into the tool shop to help build something. Get together and come up with something that would be useful around the house, or that would make a great gift. Consider some of these ideas:

  • Raised bed for your new garden
  • Dinner table
  • Nativity set for Christmas
  • Cookbook stand
  • Organizer for pots and pans
  • Toybox

The two of you should be able to come up with a great idea and make it become a reality. Put aside a Saturday sometime soon and give it a try.

Redecorate a room

Honestly, this one is what inspired this entire post. Keelie has been itching to rearrange our living room since we moved to Dallas. It never really worked very well the way it was set up, but it was the only way we could envision it.

One day, Keelie finally had an idea that was worth a try. The next thing I knew, we’d completely rearranged all the furniture and I was hanging new decorations on the wall to fit the new layout. She’d have an idea, then I’d have one, then the kids would have one! It was great having us all work together to make this new look work, and it really paid off.

You could move everything around, put on a fresh coat of paint, or just change the color scheme in a room. You could even go so far as to remodel. Just make sure you do it together and watch as you grow your friendship in marriage.

Paint/sculpt/etc.

friendship in marriage through painting

This is possibly the least practical thing on this list because you won’t come away with something really useful. However, beauty is something valuable in itself and art is a great way of releasing your own beauty into the world. You don’t have to necessarily paint, draw, sculpt, etc. the same piece of art together.

Simply experiencing the act of artistic creation while in each other’s company can build wonderful bonds between the two of you. Find an art class at a local community college or a wine-and-paint place nearby. Go cheap and get some modeling clay (or swipe the kids’ play-doh!) or watercolors.

Start a blog

Hey why not, we did! You may have heard the story before, but Love Hope Adventure actually started as a redecorating project in our old house. I had suggested to Keelie for years that she should start a blog because she wanted to be a writer. When she finally did, it was a creative outlet and hobby, not a business.

Years later, we’re working on it together to try to make it a thriving business that helps couples find a Community of people to talk openly about marriage and intimacy. Some of the best stuff we’ve ever done together has been right here.

Starting a blog is actually a lot easier than it would seem, especially if it’s just for a hobby. You can start one at WordPress absolutely free. Find a topic you and your spouse both have a passion or interest in, and take turns writing about it on the blog. Even if no one ever reads it, you will benefit from the shared experience.

Whatever activity you choose, make sure that it’s achieving the goal of building friendship in your marriage. If only one of you is enjoying the time together, consider something else. Find something that will allow the two of you to spend beneficial time together, working to build something together.

Why Working Harder May Be Better Than Working Smarter

I’m pretty sure that what you are about to read is something you’ve likely never heard before- at least I couldn’t find anything that was at all similar to what I’m about to say.

The number of times that I have been called “so organized” is pretty ridiculous to me. I would never look at myself and classify who I am as being the slightest bit organized. Know why?

I’m pretty sure that what you are about to read is something you’ve likely never heard before- at least I couldn’t find anything that was at all similar to what I’m about to say. The number of times that I have been called “so organized” is pretty ridiculous to me. I would never look at myself and classify who I am as being the slightest bit organized. Know why?

Here’s a list of things I don’t do that highly organized people do-

  • Make to-do lists
  • Put together schedules
  • Have a house cleaning plan
  • Use a grocery list
  • Cook from recipes
  • Make goals
  • Get up early so they can get more done
  • Pay attention to details
  • Work efficiently
  • Use planners or task managers

I do none of these things. So, you can see as to why I wouldn’t call myself organized. Although, at one time or another, I’ve tried to do all of those things, but not with longevity.

I made it my mission to really try and figure out why people think that I’m an organized person. Austin and I have determined it is because I get things done each day.

The bigger question I had to answer was “How do I get things done?”. I would certainly say that I’m productive, but I’m not organized. I can create order, but I do not have a system in which I do that.

If you are looking for step by step instructions of how to clean your house, cook dinner, get more done in a day- you will not find that here. Instead, I will share with you the basic principles that I use to feel inspired to get things accomplished every day.

Life is Hard- Hard is Good

People have this idea that if they see someone else being successful at something, that it must be easy for them. That couldn’t be further from the truth. Life is hard- hard is good. Successful people do hard things.

When you develop a mindset that there is a simple way to get things done every day, then you are going to throw yourself into a crisis mode.

Marketing Tells Us That Things Are Easy

Can I be honest for a minute? I hate the marketing of today. We pitch everything as being easy. Life is not always easy- and it’s not supposed to be!

Can I be honest for a minute? I hate the marketing of today. We pitch everything as being easy. Life is not always easy- and it’s not supposed to be!

How many headlines do you read that say something like:

5 Simple Ways to Keep Your House Straight

The Secret Tip to Staying Organized

Never Get Behind in Life Again With These 3 Easy Steps

10 Tricks to Lose Weight Today!

A Step By Step Plan to Get The Marriage You Want

Be a Rockstar in Your Industry With This Secret

Yeah…those seem like amazing titles right? I would click on just about every one of those to see the simple tricks and tips of how I can be super successful.

Oh sure, the people who write those articles probably have a lot of valuable things to say. The problem is, that implementing the steps you need to take to be more productive requires hard work. It wasn’t pitched to you that you would actually have to put in any real effort.

The Problem With Easy Systems

If you just make this list, the work will do itself. Download this app, and the app fairy will come along and handle the issue for you. Do these three tricks and the pounds will melt off without you having to do anything at all.

I, for one, am tired of us pitching that all things in life are easy, because I think it leads way to laziness. Why would anyone want to put in a great deal of effort to get something accomplished if there was an easier way to do it?

Don’t get me wrong here, we can make some things in life much harder than what it has to be. I’ll address that later on. For right this minute, however, I want you to accept that life is hard and that’s ok.

You Should Expect Things to Be Hard

Regularly, I tell my boys that anything that is worth doing won’t be easy. I don’t want them to buy this lie that if it’s hard, then there is something wrong. Honestly, I think that is what so many people believe.

For example, I homeschooled my boys longer than I haven’t. Do you know the kind of comments I’ve received in regards to my decision to do this?

I’ve had people say-

Oh, I could never homeschool, because my child would never listen to me. (I don’t have angels for kids, either.)

I couldn’t bring my kids home, because we would fight all the time. (I’ve had 4 screaming matches with my kids already, and it’s not even 10am.)

I’m not organized enough to do that. (Do I have a homeschool day plan? What’s that?)

My kids are too social. (Mine too, which is why I have to threaten to take away all of their joy to get them to stop talking at the table while they work.)

Homeschooling is not easy for you as a parent or as a kid. Take it from me. I was a homeschool graduate. It wasn’t easy to be homeschooled. It’s not supposed to be easy- it’s school.

People think that since I educated my kids at the house, that I possessed some magical skill. Nope. Actually, all my kids have gone to public school, because I was loosing my mind.

Raising kids is hard. Educating kids is hard. Life is hard. Stop believing that everything has an easy button.

It is Good That Things Are Hard

Want to know something? I never ever….not in a million years, wanted to run my business. Why? Because I knew it would be hard and I didn’t want the responsibility. I’ve been in business for myself for 4 years.

Want to know something? I never ever….not in a million years, wanted to run my business. Why? Because I knew it would be hard and I didn’t want the responsibility. I’ve been in business for myself for 4 years.

I hate technology. I don’t want anything to do with computers. Guess what? I run several websites for myself and clients. I stink at technology and every single thing that I have learned to do on websites has been extremely difficult.

Also, I said I would never write a book. Why? Because I don’t have a long enough attention span to read a book. I couldn’t imagine being able to muscle through writing one. Welp…I’ve written 4 books for myself, and several books for my clients.

Why did I go back on these things that I said I never wanted to do, because they were hard? Because things that are worth it, are hard.

It’s worth it to me now to work for myself. It has been highly beneficial for me to learn how to work on websites and do techy things. Writing books has helped me be a better writer, establish my authority, and help my clients.

What it’s Like For a Non-Techy Person to Build a Website

Get ready, because I’m about to paint a terrifying picture. Imagine me…a girl, that to this date, does not know how to perform basic functions on my cell phone, has decided to build her own website. *audible gasp

I hear people tell me all the time that they can’t do _______, because they do not posses the skills. I’m here to tell you that you can most certainly do anything that you put your mind to. This tech stupid girl built not only one  website, but several websites, in fact.

Do I know how to do everything there is to do on websites? No. Could I figure out how to given enough time? Maybe. Will it be easy to learn the new skills? Not on your life. Is it worth it? You betcha.

The number of “Come to Jesus” talks I have had with my computer over the years is embarrassing. Simply. Embarrassing.

You don’t know what a “Come to Jesus” talk is do you? That’s when you let the other party know they better to “Come to Jesus” or you’re going to send them to Him.

Not a pretty picture, that’s for sure. I’ve yelled at my computer, threatened to throw it outside, shook my fist in frustration…

To get Love Hope Adventure, the first website I ever built, up and running, took a lot of effort. I watched YouTube video after YouTube video. I’d click so many buttons on the backend just to see what they would do. I’ve even figured out how to change basic coding.

When I would hit a wall, I’d go on my knees to any programmer that I was working for at the time and swapped out an absurd amount of writing for a small task. But, it was worth it because I’ve never taken on debt to build my business.

The Benefit of Doing Hard Things

Why didn’t I just wait until I had the money to pay someone who knew what they were doing? Because I know that there is a great deal of benefit of learning how to do things on your own. That, and there was a fat chance that I wouldn’t have been able to save up enough to get a web developer to help me in this decade. It was better for me to just do it, then to wait for ideal situations to happen.

It’s Not Always Efficient To Find a More Efficient Way

We think done-for-you systems mean you don't have to do anything. Wrong. What's done for you is that the researched information you need is put together. Or, someone that knows what's up can answer your questions. They aren't going to actually do it all for you.

That easy peasy system that someone is pitching to you will not get the work done for you. It’s ok if you have to do something in a way that isn’t as efficient. At the end of it, you will have accomplished the task.

We think done-for-you systems mean you don’t have to do anything. Wrong. What’s done for you is that the researched information you need is put together. Or, someone that knows what’s up can answer your questions. They aren’t going to actually do it all for you.

Don’t sit around and wait for the right system to come along or ideal situation. Just commit to chipping away at the task a little at a time. Faster systems doesn’t get it done- just doing it does.

In The End, Do What Works For You

Just because a process may take you longer that you expect, doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with what you are doing. It is better to do what works for you then to do it the “right way”.

Instead of always looking for new ways of doing things, you might be better off putting that energy in just doing it. Finding easier, more efficient ways to get something done, shouldn’t keep you from getting it done. Otherwise, it just turns into another excuse as to why you weren’t productive.

Find what works for you. Even if there are better ways of doing something, just find what works for you and do it.