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How to Use Physical Intimacy as a Springboard Into a Deeper Friendship

how to use your sex life as a springboard into a deeper friendship

I’ll be honest here, I have no idea why my husband and I work together. If you know us outside of the blog, then you will know we are very opposite in just about every way. Our personalities are opposite as well as our interest in things.

We are living proof that opposites attract and that it can work well. Sure, there are some really frustrating and annoying parts to being married to someone that is your opposite, but for the most part we balance each other out.

Being friends with your spouse is not an easy thing. This is why I’m starting a series of blog posts that will address how to be better friends. Today I want to address how your sex life can be used as a springboard into a deeper friendship.

Start With Physical Intimacy

If you are struggling to enjoy things together as a couple, the best place to start is the bedroom. I know that for women, this might be a bit harder because they normally need to feel mentally connected to their spouse to have sex. However, you have to start the cycle somewhere.

You can check out JayDee over at Sex Within Marriage has to say about the cycle of sex.

When you experience orgasm, it releases a bonding chemical in your brain. You feel closer to your spouse and more in love with them. For that reason, I say working on your physical life together is a good place to start with becoming closer friends.

Connect in the Bedroom

 

Whether or not you and your spouse have many shared activities you enjoy, being together physically can be one of those activities that is highly beneficial to you both. This is literally the only activity that you can experience with your spouse and no one else.

Sure, you and your spouse can go for runs together, but you can do that with your other friends, too. However, friends with “benefits” is frowned upon when you are married….unless of course the friend is your spouse. 😀

Now, before I go on, I want to be clear that connecting in the bedroom is not merely just having sex. That actual act of going at it takes a very short time. To really connect in the bedroom, you need to add in foreplay and bonding activities.

Again, remember your spouse is the only person you get to do this type of activity with. It is a very special aspect of your relationship.

Find Ways to Bond More During Physical Intimacy

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I don’t have a step by step instruction guide of how to bond during sex. For the most part, that has to be figured out between you and your spouse.

One thing I enjoy is couples bedroom games. I’ve put together several games with free printables that you can check out.

 

Couples Truth or Dare

Kissing Game

Picture Dare Game

It’s Getting Hot in Here

These games are all foreplay games. They tell you exactly what to do with each other. I’ve enjoyed these types of games because it gives me more confidence. Coming up with something sexy to do on the spot is never easy.

You and your partner need to figure out ways to make sex last longer. If bedroom games aren’t your thing, then find something that is. Whatever you do, make sure you are intentionally prolonging the time on a regular basis.

By regular basis, I mean as close to weekly as possible. If you were investing in some other activity together, you would do it on a weekly basis. Am I right?

Resources to Help You Go Deeper With Intimacy

Building intimacy in your marriage is a difficult thing to do. Starting in the bedroom is a great place. However, some people do not know how to take it to the next level.

Here are some resources that may help you out with bonding during these intimate times.

J over at Hot Holy and Humorous writes about 3 Barriers to Communicating With Your Spouse About Sex

Gaye over at Calm Healthy Sexy writes about Essential Oils and Sensuality

Tammy over at Married and Naked writes about 5 Sexy Date Nights That Will Heat Things Up

Shelia over at To Love Honor and Vacuum writes about How to Initiate Sex

Hopefully some of these articles will help you to figure out ways to bond more during physical times.

Where to Go After You Bond in the Bedroom

After you really figure out how to bond during sex, you can start working outside of this time to develop a closer relationship with your partner. Since you already have this shared experience, it will make it easier to desire doing things together. The more you feel connected to your lover, the more you will want to know them.

Taking it to the next level is going to take intentional efforts just like you have done with developing a better sex life. 

In this series I will talk about:

How Flirting Can Benefit Your Friendship

Steering Your Conversations

Developing Separate Interests

I will continue writing posts that address ways to keep your friendship alive in your marriage. I hope you will join me on this journey.

Can Your Beauty Routine Have a Negative Affect on You?

can your beauty routine have a negative affect on you

I’m in the middle of a How to Feel Beautiful series here on the blog. I’m 6 articles deep with 1 more to go. Before I finish up the series, I want to break away from it for a minute and talk with you about something that has been weighing on my mind.

How to Feel Beautiful, Not How to Look Beautiful

I started the how to feel beautiful series so that I could help women to see the beauty they already posses. If you have read along and taken my challenges, you’ll notice that my challenges have nothing to do with changing your appearance.

My goal is to help women to understand that they are beautiful as they are. Until you believe that you are beautiful, you can spend all day long getting pretty, but not feeling it.

Is it Ok to Focus on Looking Beautiful?

What I really want to address today is the focus we put on looking beautiful, and when our routines become too involved, leading to insecurity. We all have things we do in a day as part of our routine so we can feel confident about ourselves.

If you watch this video, I explain to you why I don’t wear makeup all that often. Wearing makeup is not something that I must do to feel beautiful. However, taking care of my hair is a big deal.

I hope you didn’t walk away from that video with the impression that I do not wear makeup or hate those that do. In fact, I wore makeup yesterday because I was going somewhere I felt I needed to dress up for.

My point in the video is that having a beauty routine that you do every day is ok. You shouldn’t feel bad about spending time on the way you look.

Here is What Concerns Me

check out my concerned face
check out my concerned face

My biggest concern about beauty routines, is when I come across women that have routines that are way too involved. This can be their morning routine is intense and lengthy, or weekly things they chose to do.

Again, I want to clarify here that there is nothing wrong with taking care of yourself. There is nothing wrong with wearing makeup, doing your hair, painting your nails, or whatever you chose to do. The problem lies when you feel like you have to invest in every part of your body to look beautiful. 

When we put so much focus on the way we look, it will breed dissatisfaction. That is why my series focus on feeling beautiful, not looking beautiful.

It’s Ok to Work Through Your Look

As a teenager, I remember there being times when I put a lot of focus on the way I looked. I would try on everything in my closet and try to come up with the best looking outfits.

I’d spend hours figuring out how to do my makeup and hair. Some summers, I would lay out and tan so that I could get rid of my farmer’s tan. I’d workout for hours at a stretch and try to get the body I thought I was supposed to have.

Those hours that I spent focusing on the way I looked were important. I really did need to figure out how to tame my hair. I did need to know what clothes went together that were in my closet.

I still have times in my life where I have to spend a few weeks getting my look set. Even at the age of 33, my hair goes through stages that I have to figure out. As the wrinkles form, I also have to figure out how to apply makeup without making it look like crap.

When Do You Have a Problem?

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Spending a lot of time on your looks is ok sometimes. The problem is when you are never satisfied with the results. If you find that you have to keep doing a long checklist of beauty routines each day to feel good about yourself, then you need to take a step back. 

If you can’t ever leave the house without having your makeup done, hair fixed, clothes perfect, and toenails painted, then you’ve probably lost your focus. The whole purpose of doing these beauty routines is not to control our lives, rather add to our confidence. 

Those that are controlled by their beauty routines are not confident in who they are. An overly made up person is usually insecure and feels they need to do all of those things to look pretty.

How Does Your Beauty Routine Affect You Negatively?

This is my personal opinion of course, but anytime you spend too much of your attention focused on yourself, you are going to be unsatisfied. If you are spending hours trying to look beautiful, it puts your attention on every little flaw on your body and face. Some time in front of the mirror is good, too much time is not good.

Not only will you see your flaws, but you will also have an easier time becoming selfish and narcissistic. Another problem that comes from an intense beauty routine is expending resources. It takes a lot of time and money to go down a full checklist of routines.

Like I said in my video, I have two or three things I do each day to feel that I look pretty. Everyday, I work on my hair and wear something that I feel confident in. I also have a few things I do on a monthly basis, such as paint my toenails and moisturize my hair (I’m very hair focused).

Instead of controlling your beauty routines, be in control. I want you to feel confident, not insecure. 

At the end of the day, you have to decide if your routine is too in depth. Are you satisfied with the way you look? Are you spending too much time on getting ready? Are you draining your budget on cosmetics, clothes, hair coloring, or whatever else?

These thoughts have been in my head all week. I hope you were able to follow me, as I feel I might have been a bit scatterbrained today while writing. 😀

What About You? What Beauty Routines Do You Find Most Important?

 

Picture Dares For Couples

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If you have ever done a private photo shoot with your spouse, then you know how much fun it can be. I want to give you 12 picture ideas that are steamy. Print out the cards and then place them in number order and draw the lowest number first. This is sure to get you and your spouse really turned on.

Alternative to Couple’s Boudoir Shoots

Also, I have recently been reading about Boudoir picture shoots. If you haven’t heard about this type of photography, it is basically where you get in lingerie and have the photographer snap pics of you. There are couples boudoir sessions as well as individual sessions you can do.

Personally, I’m not a big fan of the thought of getting in anything sexy in front of someone I don’t know. Snapping pics of yourself can be quite difficult, unless you just want a selfie.

Since I don’t feel comfortable getting in front of others in an exposing way, I thought it would be fun for a couple to do their own boudoir shoot together. Having your pictures done can be a fun experience, especially if your spouse is involved.

Couples Bedroom Game Free Printable

My husband is the mastermind behind any and all printables. I am not gifted in that area, so I’m happy that he is. He put together the prompts on the next suit we’ve decided to release. Be sure you print off yours today so that you can play it soon.

If you would like access to these printables, you can purchase them in my Etsy store.

Couples Dares

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What Are The Picture Prompts?

Here is a list of the prompts on the cards so that you can decide if it is a game that you want to play. I understand that not every game is suitable for everyone.

  • Show me your sexy face
  • In an outfit of your choosing
  • kissing
  • me on top
  • your sexy pose
  • pic from above, me looking up
  • you bending over
  • stripping down
  • both of us undressed
  • me on top
  • kissing my chest
  • me on your lap
  • touching a part of yourself

You should interpret these prompts anyway you feel comfortable. All of the cards leading up to stripping down should be taken with your choice of clothing on.

How to Play Sexy Picture Dares

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When you print out the deck, there will be an instruction card. I just want to go over it with you in this post, so you have an idea of what you are getting into.

Once you print out the cards out, you’ll need to cut them apart. Put the cards in order from 2 to King. There is a wildcard in the deck that you can write your own prompt on. That wildcard can be mixed in wherever you want it to go.

These prompts are written so that it builds up with each card. You don’t have to play it in order, but I designed it to go in a certain order for it to build.

Each person should take turns being the cameraman while the other poses. Some of the picture prompts have you both in the shot. You will need to use your camera’s timer or voice commands if your phone allows. On my phone, I have it set that if I say keywords like shoot or smile, it will snap the picture.

What to Do With the Pictures When You Are Done

It is completely up to you whether or not you keep the pictures afterwards. If you are taking pictures on your phone and it backs up to the cloud, you might consider putting your phone in airplane mode. Then you can decide if you will keep these pics or delete them.

Before you play this game, you and your spouse should decide what you want to do with the pictures. Then you don’t have to have this discussion after a good night together.

The Purpose of the Game

Sexy picture dares

Whenever I put together couple’s bedroom games, the purpose is to get you and your spouse engaged with one another in a passionate way. It is important to find ways to spice things up with your lover every now and then. This will keep you from becoming stale in your sex life.

Be on the lookout for the other two suits to be released in the near future. I have one suit completed and I’ll post it in the coming weeks. I’m still brainstorming the prompts for the last suit. If you have any foreplay suggestions that involve senses such as taste and smell, please leave me a message in the comments. You might find them end up on that last suit.

How to Feel Beautiful Series #6

I hope you have been following me through my “How to Feel Beautiful” series. It is very important to me that you feel like the beautiful woman you are.

Each week I’ve been sharing with you a different challenge that you can take to feel beautiful. These challenges are aimed to increase your confidence.

Here’s A Look Back

how to feel beautiful

In case you haven’t been keeping up with my series, I want to share with you the previous week’s challenges. I encourage you to go back and do what I suggest.

Week #1- Get away from images and people that make you feel ugly

Week #2- Decide which features of your body you like most

Week #3- Ask trusted people in your life what they find beautiful about you, and then believe them

Week #4- Find 4 pictures that have you in it that makes you feel beautiful

Week #5- Come up with an outfit that makes you feel good about yourself

These are the other challenges I’ve given you to work on.

On to Today’s Beauty Challenge

If you had a chance to watch my video, then you will know what today’s challenge is. I’m suggesting today that you find some time each week to work out. I know what you are saying, “I don’t have time”.

I know exactly how you feel about limited time. For myself, I struggle to find the time to workout and exercise, too. However, exercising is a great way to boost your mood.

What I’m not asking you to do is to get a gym membership or workout non-stop. I’m just suggesting that you decide to do any form of specific exercise a few times a week.

Whenever I workout, it always makes me feel pretty. It could be the endorphins that are released. Maybe it is just a mental thing.

Even if I don’t lose any weight or see inches shed from my waist, I feel healthier. Feeling healthy makes me feel beautiful.

I hope that you will do these challenges in the coming weeks. If you are following along with me and have done any of the challenges, please leave me a message in the comment section and let me know how you are doing with it.

9 Surprising Things My Mom Taught Me About Marriage

9 surprising things my mom taught me about marraige

There is one thing for sure, my mom took the scriptures seriously that talks about the older generation of women teaching the younger generation how to be Godly wives. She intentionally counseled me about how to be a good wife starting at the time I was a teenager.

Today, I wanted to share with you some of her words of wisdom regarding marriage. I have found myself beginning a lot of conversations recently with, “My mom always said that….”. So, I thought it was time I shared with you some of the bits of wisdom that she passed to me a long time ago.

Be The Person God Called You to Be

Mom said that before I could be the wife that my husband needed me to be, I had to be the woman God called me to be. If I could just get this down, then I would be the wife my husband needed. All of my mom’s counsel took the focus off of me, and put it on God.

The most important thing you can do for your marriage is to make sure you are in right relationship with God. This also holds true for any relationship. You could say the same thing about parenting. If you want to be the parent your children need, you must first be the person God called you to be.

Take a Look At Your Own Actions First

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Before you go to your spouse about a problem you have with them, take a look at your own actions. Mom always said that you need to evaluate your part in the problems before you go to your partner about it. You might find that you are a big part of the problem yourself.

I’ve really taken this counsel to heart. When I have a problem with something Austin is doing or not doing, I take a look at my part in the problem. I ask myself what have I done that is contributing to the issue. More often then not, the issues never even make it to him, because I resolve them in myself. 

I find that I am the root cause of a lot of my issues with Austin. Normally, a problem arises because of selfishness, jealousy, or sin on my part. When I am selfish, I have a self-centered attitude and I expect him to meet my needs more than what God designed him to do.

Mom painted this scenario to me to explain her line of thinking. She said, “Keelie, if you think your husband isn’t doing enough of something for you, ask yourself if you are doing enough of that same thing for him. For example, if you think he should give you more compliments, ask yourself when is the last time you complimented him”.

This bit of counsel has saved my marriage so many fights. I find that most of the problems I have need to be resolved in my own mind. Austin usually has little or nothing to do with the issue.

They Say All Marriages are Made in Heaven, But so Are Thunder and Lightening

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This is actually a quote by Clint Eastwood. I didn’t know that when I was a kid, but it is something my mom used to say.

My mom explained the meaning of the quote like this: there will be times when you are going to fight in your marriage. There will be seasons of storms that come between you and your partner.

She used to say, “In marriage, sparks are always going to fly.” Sometimes the sparks are from romantic chemistry. Other times, it will be arguing and fighting. Those that passionately love each other, will passionately fight with each other.

It has been quite comforting to know that in good marriages, fighting happens. In fact, if a marriage is without fighting, then that is usually a sign that the relationship is over.

Be Kind…Just be Kind

Oh if I had a nickle for every time my mom has said that to us growing up. Even as adults, my mom says that to us on a regular basis. That goes for us as brothers and sister as well as married couples.

My mom told me that especially in marriage, we have to guard ourselves against being mean to our spouses. It is so easy to be mean to your partner. For some reason, we feel like we can treat our spouse anyway we want to, and get by with it.

That is not what the Bible teaches us. We are supposed to be kind one to another, compassionate, forgiving each other, just as Christ forgave the church. Kindness is key in relationships. 

You Must Learn the Art of Compromise

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My mom knows I’m a stubborn headed mule about most things. She worked especially hard with me about the concept of compromising. She knows that when I dig my heels in about something, I’m unmovable. “You have to be willing to meet your spouse halfway”, she would say.

In a marriage, you can’t dig your heels and refuse to move. You and your spouse are not always going to be on the same page about stuff. In marriage, I wonder how we ever get along sometimes. Austin and I are nothing alike and almost never think the same ideas are good ones.

Since I’m stubborn, this advice has been more than helpful. If I was allowed to go through life thinking I deserved to have everything my way, then no one would stay married to me.

You have to be willing to meet your spouse halfway on just about everything. I’m not saying there aren’t some circumstances in which you have to set a hard line, but there are very few instances in which you can do that.

When Divorce Happens, It’s Both People’s Fault

Ever heard the phrase, “It takes two to tango”? Well, that can be applied to just about anything. My mom told me that when divorce happens, it is both people’s fault. It doesn’t even matter what the reasons behind the divorce, both spouses have blame in the condition of the marriage.

No one is perfect. We are all human and all have sins. Even if one spouse cheats on the other spouse, that does not mean the “innocent” spouse is without blame. No, it isn’t the “innocent” spouse’s fault that the other was not faithful. However, since we are all sinners, we all have to admit that we did things wrong in the marriage. 

I know that is a really foreign concept for divorcee’s, especially those that have felt wrongly treated. When divorce happens, both sides walk away blaming the other person for the failure. My mom says with no uncertainty, “It’s both your faults this didn’t work out”. Wow mom….so harsh. 

It’s true though. In our marriages, both sides have sin. No one can be perfect and none of us do everything right. When it comes down to it, none of us can be exactly who the other person needs us to be. That is where grace comes in. We chose to love our spouse in spite of themselves and what they did to hurt us.

I’ll say this later on, if you are in an abusive relationship, then you need to get out of it. These bits of advice that my mom gives are not for those that are being abused.

Life is Not Fair

How many times in your life have you said the words, “That’s not fair”? According to my mom, life is not fair. It just isn’t, and we shouldn’t expect it to be. 

She said that if Christ had to die on the cross for our sins, then we couldn’t expect to be treated fairly in life. Life is not fair. Things are going to happen to us that are not fair. We are going to do things to others that are not fair.

Stop trying to make life fair, because it isn’t and it can’t be. If a perfect man has to die for the sins of the world, then we can’t expect our life to be fair.

This is a concept that she applied to marriage as well as the rest of my life. She told me that unfair things are going to happen in my marriage. I can either approach it from the standpoint of, “My husband didn’t treat me fairly, so I am not going to forgive him”; or, I can do what Christ did, and forgive him.

You Can’t Change Your Spouse, You Can Only Change Yourself

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My mom made it pretty clear to me that I cannot change my husband. She told me that I needed to marry a man I was ok with. If I thought he needed improvements or needed to change, then I shouldn’t bother marrying him. He was not going to change simply because he put a ring on it. 

Only God can change hearts and minds, not people. The only thing you can do is to change the way you respond to your spouse.

If you don’t like something about your spouse or something they are doing, you don’t get to force them to change. You have to change the way you react. Pray that God will change your mind about the situation.

Sure, you can pray that God will change your spouse, also, but don’t count on it. Put your money on God changing you, because you are willing and ready.

Don’t Make Empty Threats

Regardless of what the threats are, mom said don’t say anything unless I was prepared to act on it. She said to never threaten to leave my husband unless my bags were packed and I was never coming back. She told me to be a woman of my word.

Empty threats help no one. Saying I’m going to leave my husband or something rash, but not doing it will just serve to damage us. She told me that even if I felt like I wanted to leave, I shouldn’t say it unless I was doing it.

You know what else she told me? If I ever chose to leave my husband, then I best have a place to live. She was not going to help me run away from my problems by letting me come back to her house. (of course, this would be different if I was in an unsafe relationship). My mom is completely against enabling.

She told me this same concept should be applied to every area of my life. Don’t tell my kids that I’m going to do something unless I plan on it. 

Sticking with this advice has kept me from saying a whole lot of stupid things in my marriage. Not only that, it has kept me from giving my kids punishments that I haven’t thought through.

Your Marriage is on You

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Well thanks for that mom…my marriage is on me? She told me that I can’t wait around for my husband to fix things in the marriage. I have to take a pro-active role in everything.

If I don’t like the way things are happening in my relationship, then I have to be the one to initiate change. She let me know real quick that pride is usually the biggest reason that people get divorced. 

We get stuck on how we’ve been mistreated by our spouse. When we think our spouse has done something to wrong us, then we feel it is their responsibility to fix it. My mom says otherwise.

She says to get rid of your pride and chose forgiveness. Then do what it takes to fix the relationship. We have to do the right thing, even if our partner isn’t.

Don’t misunderstand this to mean that mom was telling me to allow my husband to be physically abusive to me.

To Sum Up My Mom’s Counsel

This article was really long, I get that. Here is how you can sum up every piece of advice my mom has ever given me about anything in my life….be who God called you to be. In case you don’t know, He has called us all to be like Jesus.

When things aren’t going well in your life or marriage, get in close relationship with God. Be obedient to Him and put your focus on your own actions.

Being married long term is very difficult. There are going to be times in your marriage where you are working it out and things are going great. There will be other times in your marriage where you are going to be at perpetual odds with each other. Either way, you can have a God honoring marriage.

What Words of Wisdom Would You Give Others About Marriage?

How to Feel Beautiful Series #5


I’ve been in a How to Feel Beautiful series for a month now. I hope that you have been following me on this journey of things you can do to feel beautiful. Each week I have given you something different that you can do to feel better about the way you look.

A Look Back at Past Challenges

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Here is a quick look back at what I have suggested you do in the previous weeks.

Week #1 Limit the fashion magazines and other media that will cause you to feel ugly

Week #2 Decide specific features of your body that you love

Week #3 Ask a close friend or spouse to tell you things you love about yourself

Week #4 Post 4 pictures of yourself that make you feel beautiful

I hope that you take the time to do these things to feel prettier.

 

 

 

Week 5 Challenge

This week, I have a new challenge for you. Today, I want to you go into your closet and find an outfit that makes you feel great about yourself. All of us need a sure fire outfit that we can put on any time to help us feel pretty.

If you can’t find anything you own that makes you feel beautiful, then you need to go out an buy something. One thing I would like to stress here is that the outfit doesn’t have to be of high fashion or expensive. It just needs to be something that makes you feel good about yourself.

Get Dressed Every Day

One thing that I do each day is get dressed. I know that sounds simple, but a lot of women struggle to make it out of their workout clothes or lounge wear.

For me, I get up, take a shower and get a nice outfit on. I’m not an exercise clothing type of person. That is not a fashion that I have ever thought looked good on me.

Not only does getting dressed every day help me feel pretty, it also gives me the right mindset to accomplish my tasks. If I am dressed and confident, then I will get more done each day.

When I am dressed in an outfit that I feel good in, I will be more successful each day. I also put my shoes on each day, which is another way I keep myself in the right mindset to work.

Being a work-from-home mom, it is vital that I do what it takes to stay motivated. I do not have a boss looking over my shoulders. If I do not accomplish the tasks I have before me, then I don’t get paid.

Getting on an outfit that makes you feel cute, yet is comfortable, will help you feel better all the way around.

Feel free to leave me a message in the comments and tell me what you do that helps you feel beautiful.

Black Bean Brownie Recipe With Video Tutorial

This past weekend, I made gluten free brownies for my mom for Mother’s Day. I’ve made these before, and while I liked them, the brownies turned out much better this go round.

I put together a quick video tutorial to show you how to make the recipe. You will need a food processor or some sort of blender.

Black Bean Brownie Recipe

black bean recipe

 

2 cups cooked black beans (drained and rinsed)

1 cup of chocolate chips

2/3 cup brown sugar

3 tablespoons olive oil

3 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1/8 teaspoon salt

1/2 teaspoon baking powder

1/2 cup baking cocoa

 

How to Make the Recipe

Put black beans and 1/2 cup chocolate chips in the food processor. Blend until it it completely processed. Add eggs one at a time and blend in between each egg. Add baking powder, salt, vanilla extract brown sugar, and olive oil.

Once all of the ingredients are blended spread out in a 8×8 brownie pan. Spray the pan ahead of time. Sprinkle the top of the pan with 1/2 cup chocolate chips.

Place in the oven at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

I really love to eat these brownies. They have the right texture and flavor in my opinion. Also, the brownies hold up pretty well for gluten free brownies.

How to Feel Beautiful Series #4

I’ve been doing a series on How to Feel Beautiful. This has been an issue on my mind for quite a while. As women, we are far too critical of ourselves when it comes to appearance.

The number of women out there that do not feel beautiful is way too high! I know that is the case, because the most beautiful people on the planet still act as if they aren’t pretty enough.

Stop Comparing Yourself to Other Women

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Seriously…stop it…just stop it. We have got to stop comparing ourselves to what other women look like. In order to really feel beautiful, you have to stop comparing the way you look to others.

The world has done a really good job of pitting us against other women. I think it is about time we stopped it. There is a group of women have worked really hard to loose the baby weight after pushing out kid number three. The moment they post pics of themselves on Twitter, other women blow up at them for the way they look.

The same thing happens when a woman that is curvy post pics of herself wearing a bikini. Instead of being happy for that woman deciding to feel comfortable in her own skin, people shame her.

I personally think we should be a lot more encouraging to the women around us. We should stop seeing each other as a threat and start seeing each other as a united front when it comes to beauty.

A Look at Past Beauty Challenges

As part of this series, I’m issuing a weekly beauty challenge. I hope that you have taken the other challenges as well. Here is a look back at the past challenges I gave you.

Week 1: Stay away from things and people that cause you to feel like you aren’t beautiful.

Week 2: Identify features on your body that you love.

Week 3: Ask someone you trust to tell you something they find beautiful about you.

If you haven’t had a chance to do these other tasks, be sure you do so. These tasks are all focused on helping you find the beauty in yourself.

Today’s Beauty Challenge

If you watched my video, then you will know the challenge I have set up for you this week. I’m asking you to locate 4 pictures of yourself that make you feel beautiful.

This is actually a challenge I saw go around Facebook for a while. Some women were posting pics of their children and family. I am not saying that pictures of your children shouldn’t make you feel beautiful.

However, for this challenge, I’m asking you to find pictures that have you in them. So, post pics of you and your family, but just be in the picture. I promise you, it’s important that you are in the picture.

Also, as part of the challenge, I’m asking you to find at least one current picture of yourself where you feel you look pretty. Some of the other pictures can be older. It is important, though that you find the way you look today to be beautiful, not just at some other point in time.

I’m Taking the Challenge With You

Just so you know, I take all of these challenges too. I’m no different than any other woman out there that doesn’t feel pretty enough. I definitely have my days where I do not feel beautiful.

I have decided to show you a few pictures of myself that make me feel beautiful. Here goes nothing…

austin reason family

 

Check me out with my awesome family. In front of me is my youngest son Braden, then next to him Tripp and Corbin. My husband, Austin is the biggest kid there. 😀

I’m more than just curly hair and a curvy figure to my family. I’m mom, I’m wife, I’m provider, and that makes me feel beautiful.

 

jason haven keelie austin

 

I realize it is hard to actually see me in this picture. However, if you could see how beautiful I feel when I’m with these people, then you would know why I chose it.

In this pic, I’m standing with my amazing husband and my two best friends, Haven and Jason. To these guys, I’m a friend, I’m family, I’m caring, and that makes me feel beautiful.

picture of Keelie

Ok, so I know this isn’t an actual picture of me, but it is a child’s rendition of me. I work in an after school care program two afternoons a week.

The other day, one of the little girls drew this picture. She came to me and told me that this person was me. The rest of the picture says that she loves everyone at our facility.

Seeing myself drawn through the eyes of a child made me feel very beautiful.

IMG_20150213_115945

 

This is a picture that Austin and I took on a date night a few months ago. We had the most amazing time together tromping around Raleigh.

My parents had the kids for the weekend, and we were making the most of it. We stopped into this cupcake bakery and shared some great desert.

When Austin kisses me and tells me he loves me, it makes me feel beautiful.

 

It’s Your Turn to Take the Challenge

If you decide to take this challenge you can post these pictures on Facebook. Be sure to tag Love Hope Adventure in the post. I’d love to see the pictures of you that make you feel pretty.

It is really important that you boost your self-esteem and confidence. When you have a good perception of the way you look and who you are, then your confidence will go up.