Music is an integral part of our lives. When songs come on the radio, it can evoke all kinds of emotions. Some make us feel sad, some make us feel happy, others transport us to a different period of time and then some help us to feel in love.
I thought I would share a few love songs that bring up emotion in me. Some of them are from my dating years, and others are currently on the radio.
As a bit of a disclaimer, these songs are not Christian. Some of them have lyrics that are off.
In the comments section, I hope you will leave me your favorite love song.
Truly Madly Deeply- Savage Garden
This is my favorite love song of all time. It is something I listened to when Austin and I were in our dating years. Whenever it comes on, I am overwhelmed with feelings of love for my husband.
I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing- Aerosmith
I am not a huge Aerosmith fan, but this is another one of those awesome songs from high school. Austin has sung this to me on a number of occasions. We have at least one mixed tape with this song on it. (you young people have no idea what I’m talking about)
Bubbly- Colbie Caillat
This song makes me feel a little bit tingly all over. I’m sure that was the goal of the lyrics. As she describes the feelings that overwhelm her, I feel that in myself.
Sugar- Maroon 5
Not all of Maroon 5’s stuff is worth listening to, but I do like this love song. This video was super crazy. I read that he really did crash a wedding or two in the production of this video.
Baby You’re So Classic- MKTO
What a fun song this is. I really like dancing around to it and it helps me to feel flirty. Any song that brings a smile to my face is worth listening to it.
I always love to listen to instrumental jazz music. Regularly, I put this track on when I’m working during the day. It helps me drown out the kids while I write and helps me to feel lovely.
These are some of my favorite love songs. I’ve definitely left some off that I might remember later on. 🙂
As believers in Christ, God asks us all to do things individually for Him. He gives us clear instructions in the Bible to go out and make disciples of Christ.
Everyone of us have a role to play in bringing the good news of Jesus to a lost and dying world. While we are all called individually, God also calls us as couples to reach those around us.
When God Calls You As A Couple
For some couples, such as my husband and I, God told us to enter into ministry together. Before we were married, I knew I was supposed to marry a man that was going into full time Christian ministry. Austin felt God tell him to work as ministerial staff at churches.
Throughout the years, we have followed God where He lead us and worked to reach the people in our community. We didn’t have to leave the country together to do this, but we did have to leave our hometown in order to be obedient to the Lord.
Yes, it is a scary thing to pick up and leave everything you have always known in obedience to God. Moving to a new are makes for difficult transitions, especially if you go over seas like my friend Sutton and his wife Kayla.
The First Time I Met Sutton
Austin took on a job as the children and youth pastor at a church in Virginia. We hadn’t been in the area for that long when we met Sutton.
There was an event that was taking place for churches in our association. This is where I first met this awesome guy. The way he carried himself and his demeanor made him seem so much older than what he actually was.
In fact, I assumed he must be old enough to head off to college. Little did I know that he would become involved in our youth ministry and bless me over and over.
Ever since I knew Sutton, he had a strong conviction to serve the Lord. His dad was the pastor of a church in the area. Like any child that loves their dad, I wondered if Sutton’s enthusiasm for the the Lord was impacted by his desire to be a good dad like his own.
It didn’t take long for me to realize that he was genuine in his faith and walk.
God Sends Those That Evangelize
I believe that more often than not that God sends people into full-time ministry to do what they are doing on a volunteer level. I’ve seen a lot of people go into pastoral ministry that were already teaching and preaching in their church. Also, people that are out and evangelizing to the world around them end up on mission fields.
Aside from sharing his faith with those around him, Sutton has taken yearly mission trips with his church. It is no surprise to me that he and his wife Kayla are being called onto the mission field for the next few years.
They are set to head out to Rwanda in a few months to work with the people there. They are going into the country to work and will use their time there to share the good news of Jesus with others.
If you would like to support them or hear more about their cause, be sure to check them out on their webpage.
Last week, I wrote about how important it is to invest in other couples. When Austin and I started out in our ministry journey, a lot of people invested in us. People are still investing in us, but in those early years, it was so important to have extra support.
I’m very grateful for those individuals that prayed for us, gave us financial support and counselled with us. As believers, we should always be spurring one another on to be obedient to Christ.
Full-Time Ministry Is Not The Only Thing God Calls Couples To Do
You might be thinking, “I have never felt God calling us to the mission field or full time Christian ministry”. That is true of a lot of people.
However, God is calling you and your spouse to minister to the world around you in many ways. He might ask you to join a ministry together. Maybe you should start an in home Bible study for people in your neighborhood.
At the very least, you are an example of the relationship between Christ and the church. You are a witness to those around you by the way you handle your marriage.
Today, I encourage you to pray together as a couple and ask God to give you opportunities to serve Him together. Serving along side other believers creates an amazing bond.
Every year for the past 5 years or so, we have participated in Cow Appreciation Day. How can you say no to free chicken? I actually have costumes that stay in the closet year round that we re-use every year. It takes little effort and gives us a night out that we don’t have to pay for.
In the spirit of being transparent with you, this was not the best Cow Appreciation night we’ve ever had. For some reason, both Austin and I ended up being pretty stressed out. It was really loud in the restaurant, so I am sure that had something to do with it.
I know we all managed to smile in this shot for the most part, but my kids were having meltdowns, too. The middle child was very upset that we couldn’t find his cow hat. Who knows why my youngest put on a pouty face, but he did. Not everything in life goes like you hope.
The other major thing that happened this week, is I helped a friend get her house straight for moving. That was a bittersweet time with her.
She had a lot of things she felt that she couldn’t take with her. We made donation piles, for sale piles, keep piles, and for Keelie piles. I walked away with some precious gifts from her and had a chance to get these new pieces of art on the wall this week.
Here are some pictures of the rooms of my home that had additions.
She gave me the mirror on the wall and a few things to put on my mantel.
Last week, I didn’t manage to write a single post that addressed sex. How did that happen? I guess I’m just branching out a bit and addressing other things that have to do with marriage.
Today, I want to talk with you about something that has been weighing on my mind. This week, I was confronted with a Christian blog that took me by surprise. I won’t list the blog here, because it wouldn’t be edifying to you in my opinion. I know I felt like trash after starting to read one of the posts.
Striking the Balance as a Marriage Blogger
I think there is a fine balance that I have to strike as a Christian blogger. I want to give you ideas of how to make your love life more romantic and exciting. On the other hand, I don’t want to say things that will make you walk away feeling like I did after reading that other blog.
I’m sure with good intentions, the couple wrote very explicit posts about their sexual encounter. In my opinion, that is no different than watching porn. I got way too much information about what was going on in their bedroom.
Since I am a sex blogger, I’ve read 100 posts on how to get in the mood, increase your libido, or spice up your life. Want to know the top things they say?
watch porn together or alone
spend time on solo sex
role play with one partner being dominant and the other the submissive
I just want to throw things at the computer when I read garbage like this. Seriously people? Is this as creative as you can get?
*Disclaimer- I do want to preface this and say that everyone has a different past. Some people have been abused or had other bad experiences that makes certain sex acts feel very uncomfortable. If you are in that boat, just know that you are not alone. Through prayer and time, you can experience more freedom in your sex life. Also, if you feel bad reading what I have suggested, I send my deepest apologies.
Let’s Get Creative
Today, I want to give you some things you can do to get hot with your spouse. I hope you find something on this list that will help you. Just so you know, I’m kind of going in an order of progression.
Hang in there with me until the end. I try to make these posts really simple for you to skim, so skim down if you need to.
Think About Sex With Your Spouse
Fantasizing about your spouse is a great thing to do in general. You should be building anticipation for the times to come. Some people do not give themselves the permission to think about their partners. Others might get too busy in a day, that they don’t put any energy towards it.
Flirt Throughout The Day
This is another way to build anticipation about having sex with your spouse. If you will send flirty texts, emails, or have short phone calls, this will help you build tension even when you aren’t at home.
I’m known to send flirty texts here and there. It is always something fun to do with Austin.
When you get together, the flirting can increase throughout the night. The more privacy you have (meaning when kids go to be) the heavier the flirting.
Wear Something That Makes You Feel Sexy
When you feel sexy, you will act sexy. The sexier you act, the more confident you will be in the bedroom. Find something that will help you to feel good about yourself.
It always helps me to get in the mood if I take a few minutes putting into my look. I always need something that helps me make a mental switch. Everything I do in a day happens in my home for the most part. So, dressing in clothing I only wear around my husband can be a help.
Feeling sexy is a great turn on for both of you. When you are confident in how you look, you will act more confidently.
Create The Right Environment
Environment has a lot to do with how you feel, which is why I work very hard to keep my bedroom clean. If it is a mess, there is no way I can feel relaxed. I have to be able to mentally switch hats from being house cleaner, to lover.
There are a lot of ways that you can enhance the environment and help yourself feel turned on. I like to play soft, relaxing jazz music like the YouTube sound track below.
I also use aromatherapy by burning candles, or spraying fragrance around the room. Jasmine is an essential oil that can be used as a natural aphrodisiac. You can put a few drops on your neck or behind your ears. I like to burn the oil in a diffuser.
Get A Good Look At You And Your Lover
There is a reason that porn makes it to the top of the list on a lot of those articles I read. It is very stimulating to look at sexy images. To keep your marriage God honoring, you should focus looking on you and your spouse.
Spend time looking at one another with the lights up enough so you can see. I’m all for the right lighting. Too bright and it distracts me…too dim and I can’t take it.
You can spend time standing in front of a mirror and looking at one another caressing each other. Pictures are a good idea also. I know that some people do not want to do the picture thing, because they are worried about people seeing them.
Good thing we have digital cameras on our phones where we can delete the pictures immediately. If you are really worried, just use the Snapchat phone app. It doesn’t store the image on your phone at all.
Use Your Bedroom Language
I talked about the importance of developing a bedroom language with your lover. It is one more way that you can relate to your spouse in a way you do not relate to others.
If you want to feel really turned out with your spouse, you need to talk to them. Don’t be quiet during love making. Use your words to guide and direct. Share with them how their actions are making you feel.
Women tend to struggle to keep their minds engaged during love making. Talking can help them to stay focused on the feelings they are experiencing. This is going to take some practice and time to get down.
Spend Time Orally Pleasing One Another
We don’t always have time in our lives to have a 2 hour love making session, but when you have time, you need to spend it on pleasing each other in a lot of ways. Orally pleasing your spouse is a great way to get turned on yourself, and help them feel turned on.
When your partner is orally pleasing you, make sure you are looking at them. This will heighten the experience.
Engage in a Bedroom Game
Everyone always says to invest more time in foreplay. I’ll come right out and say it…I lack creativity in this department. That is why I’ve spent a lot of time creating different bedroom games like:
All of these couples bedroom games take the guess work out of foreplay. It gives you direction and an end goal.
Make a Recording
Now, I know what you are thinking…I don’t want to end up like those people on the movie “Sex Tape”, which I have never watched btw, and I suggest you don’t either. However, we are all concerned that if we video ourselves, someone else will end up finding it.
That is true, if you tape yourself, there is a chance someone may find it. That is why a lot of people delete recording after they are done.
If you feel too shy for videos, consider recording an MP3 of your time together. Save the recording and play it one night that you really want to spice things up. You will definitely feel turned on by the sounds of your and your spouse making love.
Try a New Position
The key to getting really turned on during sex, is to be active and do things out of the usual. Trying out a new sex position is a good way to keep you focused on what you are doing and from becoming slack.
I know what you are thinking, figuring out a new position to try is awkward. Yup, it is. The great thing about it, though, is that it gets you talking to your lover.
Check out this Christian Friendly website that will give you instructions for new sex positions. You won’t be faced with porn or inappropriate images. I really appreciate these guys for putting together this website.
I know some people are against sex toys, but if you aren’t, this is a good way to feel turned on by your spouse. A lot of people do not want to go into a raunchy store to look at stuff. I get it. You can actually buy some mild toys like vibrators and rings in pharmacies.
Personally, I like Married Dance, which is an online retailer for sex toys. What I appreciate most about them is that they do not promote any toys that are unsafe. Also, they do not sell toys that have porn images on the packaging.
This is my affiliate link, so if you purchase something, I’ll get commission. Just want you to be aware if you decide to buy something.
This is not my idea, I’m snatching it from El Fury over at Married Christian Sex. He and his wife Sexy Corte have some really awesome ideas to spice up the night. I really appreciate them and the effort they put into building up marriages in and edifying way.
You can check out instructions for the sexy story idea HERE.
A lot of people read erotica to get themselves going. I think erotica is just as bad as porn. However, writing your own sexy story, or telling a sexy story is a good idea.
Read A Good Article About Sex
Notice that I say to read a good article about sex. At the start of this post, I told you I encountered a blog that was way more than I bargained for.
You should stick with bloggers that do not write erotica. Again, I think that is not healthy or edifying. However, I follow along with some great bloggers that write about sex tips.
I LOVE art! I define art as anything a person creates using whatever medium they chose. It is an outward expression of what is in your mind.
For example, I have a friend that is restorative dentist. He crafts beautiful smiles for his patients. I have another friend that is a tattoo artist. His artistic abilities are astounding. Both of these guys use the human body as their canvas.
Photography Is a Beautiful Form of Art
While I see everything as a form of art, I also love more traditional pieces, such as photography. A number of years ago, wedding photography, in particular, changed drastically.
Instead of the Bridal party just standing around at the front of the church, photographers were taking their subjects to open fields and old train depots. The first time I saw this type of photography, I fell in love.
In fact, I have two different sets of friends that started their own photography businesses. Both of the picture galleries at Innovatory and R&K Events are full of astounding artwork.
Oh how I wish I had gotten married a few years later, because both of these brilliant couples were at my wedding! If only they had been taking those magazine worthy pics when I was dressed in white.
I remember seeing the owner of Innovatory post pictures of normal every day things that would floor me. She had the ability to turn the most mundane thing into incredible art.
One day, she posted a picture of her preschooler’s artwork, and the angles, filters, and lighting she used made the picture look magnificent. She took that gift from her child and showed the world how she viewed it. Amazing.
Then Instagram Came Into My Life
I’m never the type to jump on the latest technology band wagon, so it takes heavy pushing from Austin for me to bother with anything new. When we were in youth ministry, he told me about this app I really needed to get….Instagram.
No, I wasn’t happy about having to figure out a new social media outlet, because I barely had Facebook figured out. However, the young teens were all over Instagram, and I needed a way to connect with them during the week.
Instagram opened a whole world to me with the amount of filters and edits you can do. I fell in love with the editing process. I could take picture of absolutely nothing, then filter and edit it into something great.
For a long time, I would rock every picture I took, throw a filter on it, crop it just right, before I shared it.
Here are some examples:
Now you get an idea of some of the types of edits that I like to do. The before pics are fine, but the after pics sparkle.
Before I go on, I want you to know that there is nothing wrong with editing and slapping a filter on your pictures. I am very much in love with this form of art, still.
Something Changed for Me….
I started working online. I’ve been freelance writing for almost 2 years. As I have learned to navigate around the internet better, I have had to develop some standards.
Online, many people portray themselves as something better than what they are. Whether they do it on purpose or inadvertently, it still happens.
Taking pictures of every day things and turning them into beautiful pieces of art is not the problem. The problem is that we are obscuring reality when that is all we ever see. When you spend all of your time looking through a camera lens, it isn’t healthy.
I even noticed that I wouldn’t post a picture at all that hadn’t been edited. Even if the picture looked fine, I wasn’t satisfied until I had made some changes. That told me that I was developing an unhealthy view of reality.
Now that I run a blog, I want to make certain that I am being as transparent as I can be with those that follow me here. Most of you do not know me in real life. A lot of people do not look the same in real life that they look in a picture.
When we edit the smack out of our pictures, then we look even less like what we do in person. Since you guys do not know what I look like outside of the pictures I post, throwing filters all over my face is a bad idea.
While I LOVE editing and filtering pics, I won’t be posting those too often on the blog. It is really important to me that I portray reality to you. I’ll make sure I point out pictures I’ve artsified so that you know it isn’t reality, but art.
I’d say that this is an evergreen post, and we can always use a good reminder to kiss our spouses. I’m a huge fan of kissing your spouse goodbye. If for no other reason, it gives you an excuse to lock lips. 🙂
These are some of my fave reads from the week. Hope you find something that interests you from this list.
A Look Into My Week
We are another week down in our summer, and I have implemented a new schedule around here. My kids will spend a lot of time just sitting around “waiting” for the next thing to do. It causes a lot of rough housing and fighting to take place. To combat that, I put together a schedule they can follow, and we have had a much better week.
I have become a bit of a plant fanatic, and this week I was able to add this beauty to my collection. I found it on the $5 clearance section at Lowe’s because it had a lot or broken branches.
My grandmother brought me a fiddle when she visited last week. She stopped back by this week and helped me work out the notes for Amazing Grace. Who knows if I’ll ever be any good at the fiddle, but I’ll try.
This week I went to a lake with a friend. We all had a great time together and hope to do it again soon.
Those were a few highlights from my week. Hope you all have had a great week and good weekend with your family.
My parents served as a huge example to me and continue to do so. One of the things my mom has always been passionate about is investing in people. Whatever that looks like, she takes the time to invest in the lives of those around her. In particular, her investment in married couples has always stuck out to me.
When I was a pre-teen and teenager, my mom would “adopt” a couple, so to speak. She did a lot of things to invest in the couple.
One of the biggest ways she would help a couple was through encouraging them to let her keep the children while they went away on a date. In fact, my parents do this for all of my married siblings and myself.
They have left a huge impression on me about how important it is to invest in other married couples.
Why it Is Important to Invest in Another Couple
I have a huge passion to invest in other couples and I have had noticed a lot of great things as a result.
The people we put time an energy into reap the benefits of having someone in their lives that care about them. When someone see that their marriage matters to someone else, inevitably, they pay more attention to it as well.
Personally, my mom has shown me how important my marriage is, because of her investment in it. If someone else sees the value in what you have, and points it out, it helps you understand the value.
What Investing In Others Does For My Marriage
Of course there are great benefits for the couple I invest in, but there are plenty of things that happen in my own marriage as a result of the investment.
First, I evaluate where I am in my own marriage. It is always important to evaluate what is going on in your own life. When I talk with a person about their marriage and hear what is going on, it causes me to do a lot of self reflection. Actually, writing this blog is doing a very good job of that as of late.
The other thing that I notice, is that I become excited about my own relationship. Think of it like this, when you go to a wedding and see the love of the bride and groom, it gets you excited about love. That carries over into your own romantic relationship.
Also, investing in others gives Austin and I something to work towards together. This a wonderful team building exercise for us. It really helps us to build a more loving relationship with one another, because we are loving on others in our lives.
How to Invest in a Married Couple
If you are interested in putting time and energy into others, but just don’t know how, I’ve got some great tips for you. These are all things that I have done and continue to do for people that come into my life.
Offer babysitting for them to go out– this is a huge help to any married couple. Dating is very important to your relationship, but without a trusted sitter, it is impossible. Instead of waiting to be approached, go to the couple and offer. Don’t leave it open ended either. Set up a specific day that will work with both of your schedules.
Remember their anniversary- I don’t go all out on my anniversary, but it is an important day that we celebrate in our own way. However, it is a true blessing when others remember our anniversary. If you are investing in another couple, send them a card or offer babysitting for their anniversary. In some way, recognize the milestone for them.
Give gifts that will encourage a more intimate sex life- I know that not everyone will be comfortable in giving gifts that will encourage a couple to explore each other physically. However, I’ve never had a couple respond in a negative way about this. I’ve been putting together “honeymoon” or “romantic” baskets for years for people I know. Just buy items that are mild and won’t offend, but will get the point across. (Candles, lotion, and massage oils are always a good thought)
Check in with them about their relationship- all of us go through times where our relationship hits a rocky patch. We might not call someone on the phone out of the blue and tell them what is going on. However, if someone calls to check in on us, we will be more willing to open up.
Randomly do something to celebrate their relationship- I am a huge fan of celebrating the people in my life. This can be done in a very small way, or something on a larger scale. At random, find a way to celebrate the couple and their marriage. You can send an encouraging card that reminds them of the love they share. A small gift can send the right message. Maybe you’ll want to babysit so they can go out on a date.
Keep their kids overnight- if you are up to it, consider keeping their kids overnight. All couples needs to have a getaway and not everyone lives close to family. If you can, consider keeping their kids so that they can spend a night away.
We Must Always Invest In Our Relationships And Others
Marriage is very important to me. I want to see people keep the commitments they made to God, one another, and all of the witnesses at their wedding.
I understand that having a happy marriage takes a lot of hard work, and the hard work never EVER stops! You don’t ever just arrive.
There is this country song, “Looks Like We Made It” song by Shania Twain. The gist of the song is that she and her man broke everyone’s expectations and made it as a couple. While I understand the sentiment behind the song, this is not a statement any couple can make until the day one of them dies.
This is How We Fight For Other’s Marriages
We all need someone that is cheering for our marriage. There will be days when you won’t be able to cheer for yourself, and that is why it is so important that others are standing with you.
Austin’s and my philosophy of ministry is that you have to build relationships above anything else. One day, the people you engage with will have difficult things happen.
If you already have the relationship established, you can be there to help them. If you aren’t already in place, it can seem like an intrusion into the person’s life when you come to help.
Investing in other’s marriages is our way of fighting for their marriage. When they have those periods of time that come where they want to give up, we are in place to fight for them.
If we weren’t already vested in their marriage, the chances of us knowing something was wrong before it was too late, is pretty slim to none. Should the relationship end, we are there to help pick up the pieces, also.
Austin and I can’t be there for everyone, but we can be there for some people. As Christians, if we are instructed to disciple others. When we do this, together we can fight for marriage together.
Two weeks ago, I was on vacation in Gatlinburg, Tennessee with some of my best friends and my family. It was a great week away, but this week I was back at it as usual. I’ve been playing catch-up, and not doing such a good job at it.
This week, I have had a lot going on.
Some of My Work Around The Web
Of course, I turned in several writing projects. You can check me out on some of these websites:
Hope you find something interesting to read this week from my round up.
In My Personal Life
Like I said, I had a lot happen this week for me on a personal level. It was the week I needed to go to the grocery store for one thing.
Check out my barren fridge and pantry:
We went down to pretty much nothing around here. On Thursday, I had a chance to go to the store and fill the house back up.
It is always great to see the cabinets get full again.
My grandmother surprise visited us and brought all three of my boys a guitar. They had a wonderful jam session together and I was happy to make these memories.
On Saturday, we had the opportunity to ride in a float to share with the community about the food pantry that Austin works for. The boys had a lot of fun riding in the back of the pickup truck and waving to everyone.
These were some of the highlights from my week. Hope you all had a great weekend and enjoy this roundup.