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What I Would Say About Intimacy if I Didn’t Have a Filter

what I would say about intimacy if I didn't have a filter

 

Recently I read an article over at Hot Holy & Humorous, which is a wonderful blog by the way. J wrote a post on things she would say about physical intimacy if she didn’t have a filter. I told her how much I loved the post and thought I’d join in on the fun….or awkward conversation….I guess your reaction will really depend on your personality.

If you know me at all, you will know I have very little filter when it comes to anything. Of course, I don’t run around telling the world my opinion of being physical with your spouse, but if given half a chance I will say exactly what I’m thinking.

Since there isn’t always a platform for me to say what I’m thinking about sexual intimacy, here is my unfiltered thoughts….mostly. 

1. Why is it when a couple wants to change things up in the bedroom, there has to be tie ups and eye masks involved?

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Seriously people, is the best creativity you can come up with? Besides, once I have him bound and blind, then what? That is where the real creativity has to come in. By that point, I don’t need the eye covers or cuffs.

I was talking to my husband about this the other night. We were talking about how complicated people make it when they want to change things up.

Honestly, most of us don’t focus enough on foreplay during intimacy in general. I think if you want to make things spicier in the bedroom, then you need to do more kissing and touching.

That is why I put together a few bedroom games. There isn’t anything special about these games. Basically, it just outlines…do this and then that. You know what though, it’s changed things up in my bedroom, plenty.

You can check out these two. Both have free printables to make it easier on you.

It’s Getting Hot in Here

Couples Truth or Dare

2. When girls say that they would rather eat chocolate than be intimate, I want to throw a book of positions at them. chocolat-au-lait-suisse-495753-m

If anyone can honestly say they would rather eat chocolate than have intercourse, I’d say they aren’t doing it right.

Am I right? Can I get a holla from those ladies out there that love to experience the excitement of climax? If that is you, then you know you would give up chocolate for the rest of your life if it meant you could keep being with your spouse intimately.

I’m not really suggesting a picture book of positions here, because I have honestly never actually read one. A brief scan of the pictures is enough to tell me I am not flexible enough for those positions…for real. My point is, that if someone actually feels like this, then they need to try something new.

Seriously though, if I had to choose, then I’d say eat chocolate while being intimate. But for the love… don’t give up physical intimacy.

3. When I hear a spouse say that they are ok with being with their spouse out of duty, my first thought is, “You’re lying”. My second thought, “You’re crazy”.

On principle, I’m not against this type of intimacy, per se. However, if that is what you are ok with on a regular basis, you have problem. It is time to get your hormones checked and see if your libido is off.

It could also be a state of mind that is keeping you from wanting to be intimate. A lot of couples deal with a lack of intimacy in marriage.  Others have a hard time admitting they have physical needs, which can also keep you from desiring intimacy.

Or maybe there is an emotional problem you are dealing with. Either way, it isn’t normal or good to have a steady diet of intimacy out of obligation.

4. I Have no Idea Why Anyone Says That The First Time They Were Physically Intimate Was the Best They’ve Ever Had.

When I hear that concept in songs, all I can think is that I must have been a loser the first time I had intercourse. Was the first time memorable and special? Oh yeah, but I don’t want to re-live it again…ever…

It was hard to be intimate the first time. Neither one of us had a clue of what we were doing. It was the furthest thing from the best sexual experience I have ever had. Anyone that is hoping for the experience they had the first time they had intimacy has clearly not matured in their sex life…for real.

5. I Wish Married People Would Invest as Much Energy on Physical Intimacy as They Did When They Were Single.

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I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I spent a lot of time thinking about physical pleasure when I was a teenager and into my college years. I also spent a lot of energy keeping myself from being in positions that would cause me to mess up and become physically involved with my boyfriend.

Sure, I know a lot of people do not have a problem being physically intimate before getting married. I have to believe that there was a lot of emphasis put on having physical intimacy early in the relationship.

There was a period of time when I had a one year old and was pregnant. During that point, getting physical was more of a chore. Who could blame me right? No one feels hot when they have a bowling ball in their stomach. Not to mention, the amount of sleep deprivation I was experiencing left me feeling exhausted at night.

One day, I woke up and thought, “You know, I spent a lot of time and energy thinking about intimacy during the years when I wasn’t able to be intimate. Now that I can be intimate, I’m saying no. What is my problem?”.

After I had that realization, I decided that I’d not only stop saying no, but I would start initiating more. This was part of the married dream, and I wasn’t pursuing it.

These are just some of my brutally honest thoughts about the subject. What are your honest thoughts? I’d love to hear about it in the comments below.

 

 

Educational Websites For Kids

fund and educational websites for kids

I’ve always been really cautious about the amount of time that I allow my kids to spend on television and digital media. Around here, my kids are allowed to watch a total of 3 shows that last 30 minutes. When it comes to video games or computer time, I usually give them 20 minutes a day.

I’m huge on educating my children and trying to incorporate learning into everything they do. That includes television and computer games. I’m not saying I don’t ever let the kids just watch a fun show or play a dumb game, but I do try to steer them toward educational programs and websites.

Since they love playing computer games so much, I am glad that there are a lot of websites out there that put together educational games.

Today you can check me out over at Nerd’s Magazine where I talk about:

Fun Yet Educational Websites For Kids

I put together this list of ones that my children like, along with some new websites I’ve discovered.

Did I miss any? If you have a suggestion, feel free to leave me a message in the comments. I’d love to find some others to add to my list.

What to do When You Struggle With Breastfeeding

what to do when you can't breastfeed

I have three beautiful, happy and healthy boys. Ten years ago when I was preparing to have my first son, there was never a doubt in my mind whether or not I would be able to breastfeed. In fact, from the time I was a teenager, I had always said I would nurse as a way to save money.

Imagine my surprise when I had a hard time breastfeeding.

Very little goes according to plan when it comes to having children. You have all these great ideas in your mind of what type of parent you will be or what you child will be like. Then they come along and things don’t go as you had envisioned.

With my first son, I struggled to nurse him right off the bat. He dealt with colic, and refused to latch on properly. What a frustrating thing to deal with as a new mom.

After a few weeks, I went to work part time while my husband stayed home with him. During the times I was gone, Corbin was given a bottle. I did not have enough milk production to pump him bottles.

Looking back, I realize he lived off of supplemental bottles.

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I nursed him until he was 9 months old and then switched to cow’s milk completely. I know some of you are going to yell at me right now because I didn’t keep him on formula until he was 12 months. However, at the time, there were a lot of conflicting views on when to switch to cow’s milk.

It was a relief to stop nursing. I had no idea what a drain it was on my life. Corbin nursed for such a long period of time and his feedings were very close together. I know it was because he was getting very little milk from me. Without the supplemental bottles while I was gone, he likely wouldn’t have gained enough weight.

My second child nursed no better.

When I was struggling with my first child, I chalked a lot of my problems up to working outside of the home. After I had my second child, I didn’t have much better luck, even though I was staying home full time at this point.

He latched on quicker and seemed to get the hang of it. He just didn’t seem satisfied with the amount of milk I was producing.

I only made it 6 months with Tripp, before I decided he needed more milk than what I could give him.

My third child made it the shortest amount of time.

Braden came along, and I knew what to expect at this point. I had already given up on the dream of being the nursing mom that saved money on formula. When I had my third son, I knew it was only a matter of time before my milk dried up and I had to stop nursing.

My third child is an eater. He eats more than his two older brothers. My milk supply was never enough for him. I tried to stick with it as long as possible. I made it about 3 months, with supplemental bottles the whole time.

What to do when you can’t breastfeed.

I know it is hard for moms that want to nurse their child, but struggle. It seems like one of those things that you would just be able to figure out. Isn’t it nature?

It was hard on me, because I was prepared with everything they tell you to have for your new baby. We had the passies, cradle, baby towels and washcloths, footy pajamas, but no breast milk to feed them.

Know when to quit breastfeeding.

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What I hope you walk away with is that it is ok to quit breastfeeding. If your baby is not getting the nourishment they need, then it is time you find an alternative. Some moms really beat themselves up over not being able to nurse.

I understand why you feel like you are letting your child down when you can’t care for them the way you want. The important thing to remember is that as long as you are meeting their needs, you are caring for them the way a mother should.

If there comes a point in which you have to give up on nursing, find other ways to bond with your baby. Even if you don’t have milk production, that doesn’t mean you can’t let them latch on.

What have you done when you have struggled to breastfeed?

It’s Getting Hot in Here Couples Bedroom Game

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Many couples are looking for ways to connect intimately in the bedroom. In fact, if you like this game, you will love Sexy Truth or Dare. It has been my most viewed post to date. These games are geared to make you slow down a bit and really savor one another.

For that reason, my husband and I have brainstormed together to come up with another hot game. So, if you blush easily, this is your chance to exit. It is truly going to get hot in here.

Related: Sex Positions You Can Try

It’s Getting Hot in Here Couples Bedroom Game Printables

This game can be purchased through my Etsy shop through the link below. All you will need to do is print off the pdf’s and then grab a pair of dice and two small objects to be used as the markers for the game board.

It’s Getting Hot in Here

couples bedroom game it's getting hot in here

 

 

What You Will Need For the Game

it's getting hot in here couples bedroom game love hope adventure

There are full instructions of everything you need on the printables. I just want to highlight a few things that you will need to put together.

  • Free printable board
  • Free printable His and Her cards
  • 1 die
  • 2 game pieces (I have used two figurines from monopoly. You can use whatever you have on hand)
  • a timer
  • Start out dressed (It is pretty important that you start out dressed. It will help to add to the anticipation.)

Tips For Playing

This ideas was made to get you in the mood and really spend time with one another. If at some point you feel that it is dragging on, or you need to switch up the rules for some reason, feel free to do that. However, I suggest that you try to get all the way through it by playing by the rules, at least the first time.

You will need about an hour complete this bedroom time. This is perfect for weekend getaways, celebrating a life event, or to just spice up the bedroom on a weekend. Give yourself plenty of time to play so that you do not feel rushed.

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*I use affiliate links

Valentine’s Day Quotes

valentines day love quotes

 

I love Valentine’s Day. Not sure I can say that enough. It is a time when you can celebrate the people in your life that you love. I put together a few Valentine’s Day quote pictures that you can send to your loved one on Saturday if you should choose.

Anyone can catch your eye. It takes someone special to catch your heart.

anyone can catch your eye. it takes someone special to catch your heart

 

I’ve fallen in love many times…always with you!

 

I have fallen in love with you many times

 

My Heart to you is given…

 

my heart to you is given

 

You + Me = Forever

 

you plus me equals forever

 

God must have sent you into my life so there would always be love in my heart

 

god must have sent you into my life

 

I had a lot of fun putting together these love quotes. I hope that you take the time this Saturday to show the people in your life how much you care for them. Use Valentine’s Day as the ultimate excuse to shower love on others.

How to Teach Your Children to Be Less Materialistic

how to teach your children to be less materialistic

Everywhere you look, someone wants you to buy their product or service. It is the job of marketers to make sure they put the idea in your mind that you have a need. Once you understand you have a need, then they can sell you their product.

Marketers Want You To Believe You Need Their Products

We are led to believe that we need a lot more stuff than what is actually necessary. It doesn’t just affect adults, but it affects children as well. They are exposed to marketing tactics the second they watch a commercial.

Kids are Affected By What They See

If your kids never watched television, you wouldn’t even be able to escape the fact that they are indeed still being influenced to want more. Look at the billboards on the side of the road. Think of the radio commercials that come on.

What about all of the ad placements in stores? You know they didn’t put the toy section in front of the back bathrooms at Wal-mart without a reason. Or how about the cheap candy and toys at the checkout line?

Teach Children the Difference Between Wants and Needs

No matter what you do, you can’t keep your kids from being exposed to marketing tactics that cause them to believe they need stuff. What you can do is work with them to understand when they have enough. Help them distinguish between needs and wants.

You can check me out over at Shape Mind Soul today where I address the issue of

Teaching Our Children to Be Less Materialistic

I give you some practical suggestions of how you can instill a good work ethic in your kids and teach them how to be happier with what they have.

Fun and Romantic Gift Ideas for Valentine’s Day

 

Romantic DIY valentine's day gifts

I just love love love Valentine’s Day. It is one of my favorite times of year. You can tell that I’m already in the spirit with the decorations I have put out. If you are looking for a few DIY gift ideas for Valentine’s Day, then check out this list I put together.

Week of Love Printables

Day 4 week of love valentines day gift

My husband did this idea for me last year. He even made some cute printables for each day he gave me a gift. You can check out the post and snag your free printables for Valentine’s.

Valentine’s Love Scratchers

Print off a blank Valentine’s scratcher. In the blanks, write something you will do for your sweetheart. You can get as creative as you like with your message. Color over the message with a white crayon. Paint over top of the crayon with grey colored craft paint. The paint will easily scratch off with the use of a coin.

I did this project for a friend a few years ago. It worked out perfectly and the friend loved it.

At Home Date Night

sexy truth or dare for couples in the bedroom love hope adventure

Can’t make it out this Valentine’s? No sweat. Just have a fun and exciting at home date night. You can play a game of Couples truth or dare. It is a fun bedroom game that is sure to spice up the night.

Fortune Cookies With Intimate Messages

Use felt or paper to cut out these simple fortune cookie designs. Write your personal message on the inside for your loved one to open. You can make predictions of fun and romantic gifts your spouse will receive for Valentine’s.

ABC’s of Love

The Dating Divas are a huge inspiration to me. I love their website and commitment to helping couples find fun and exciting things to do together. Print out these ABC cards. Use each card to write about a time you remember from your relationship. Or you can write something on each card that you love about your partner.

Text a Flirty Picture

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Write I love you on a piece of paper and hold it while you take a selfie. Text it to your spouse on Valentine’s Day. I have done this for my husband a few times. It is always fun and simple. You can make that sign say whatever you like for it to say to get your spouse in the mood.

Massage Your Spouse

Give your darling a coupon for a massage whenever they are ready. Put together a massage basket. Include a small towel, massage oil, candle, relaxing cd, and massage coupons. You can make your own massage coupons.

I hope that you find a way to show your spouse just how much you love them this Valentine’s Day. These simple gift ideas will get your ideas flowing.

What Will You do For Valentine’s Day?

Will You Go See Fifty Shades of Grey?

Will you go see fifty shades of grey

This coming weekend, Fifty Shades of Grey is opening in the theaters. Many couples have decided that this movie will be what they do together to celebrate Valentine’s Day. Sure, why wouldn’t a man want to take his wife or girlfriend to a fun and romantic movie? Seems like the cat is in the bag for many.

Should you go see Fifty Shades of Grey?

For some, it is not a question of whether or not they will go, it is what time they can go. For others, there is a serious question being posed. Should you go to see a movie that explores the concept of being tied up, dominance, and other forms of this type of intimate pleasure?

I can’t personally speak to the content of the book because I haven’t read it. I know…I will lose half of you right now for saying that. However, it doesn’t take an avid reader of romance novels to get a good idea of what is going on in the book.

I can’t and won’t tell you what to do….but I will ask you to think…

is it ok to watch fifty shades of grey

 

Maybe you have definite plans to go see the movie and have a time set up. In that case, these questions likely won’t sway you to cancel your plans. If you are trying to decide if it is a movie you want to see, then take a few minutes to ask yourself some of these questions.

 

1. How do you feel like about the kind of intimate encounters that are being portrayed?

Do you have any hesitancy about the kinds of role playing that takes place with bondage, dominance, sadism, and masochism? If you haven’t read the book, you do need to know that this movie explores this type of sexual encounters. In case you are wondering, the main characters are barely dating before they start shacking up.

You can check out what Jay Dee has to say in the post Should Christians Read Erotic Literature? I agree with all the points of the article.

2. What are your thoughts about pornography?

Are you ok if your spouse looks at porn? In your mind, what constitutes as porn? I can’t say for sure how much nudity and sex will be in the flick, but that is what the book is about. You can pretty much guarantee that there will be a whole lot more than innuendo. At what point do you consider a movie to be pornographic?

3. Will you be willing to role play with your significant other after watching this movie?

If you are taking your spouse or partner to this movie, are you ready to experiment with this type of play? It will be hard to convince your significant other that you didn’t take them to the movie if you weren’t willing to experiment later on.

4. Are you willing to accept that watching this movie could negatively impact you?

Anytime you put yourself in a position where you watch sexual fantasies portrayed, you are putting yourself at risk of being negatively impacted. You plant an idea in your mind of how sex is supposed to be, but will likely never be in real life.

5. Are You Truly Ok With How Christian Treats Anastasia?

In all seriousness, are you ok with the abusive language and attitude that Christian uses toward Anastasia? Is this the kind of fantasy in which you hope your loved one treats you? Maybe she has some radical sex in which she says she enjoys. I don’t really know.

Can I just make an observation? You can have mind blowing sex without being treated like this. Emotional and physical abuse are very real in relationships. Are you putting your stamp of approval on this type of behavior in a relationship?

These are just a few questions that you can ponder before you decide whether or not you want to go see that movie. Maybe you have read the books, and have had no problems with it. Maybe you are ready to go see the movie because it is a blockbuster.

Why I Am Not Going to See Fifty Shades of Grey

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For me, choosing to not see this movie has nothing to do with the forms of play that is being explored. I am not for this type of intimacy per say, but it has more to do with my unwillingness to read the book or watch the movie.

I believe that watching people being sexually intimate is wrong. I also think that it is wrong to read fantasy that portrays sensual writing and explicit words.

There are many movies I have chosen to skip out on, even though I really thought the concept might be good. In my opinion, it is damaging to your mind and relationships to read or watch sexual fantasies.

Trying New Things in the Bedroom is ok

I’m all for trying out new things in the bedroom, don’t get me wrong. I don’t really need someone else to paint a unrealistic picture for me. Instead, my husband and I work with one another to create the experiences we have with one another.

In my opinion, if you want to take your physical intimacy to the next level, there are plenty of ways to do that in a God honoring way. You do not have to watch porn or fantasies to learn to explore your spouse.

Abuse is Rampant in the Movie

Another major reason I’m not for this book series, is the abusive language that Christian uses toward Anastasia. Ok, some say she is the hero at the end of the book because she changes him and liberates him. Again, ladies, that is complete fiction.

Real women that are treated like that have horrible lives and rarely see their husbands or partners change. Furthermore, even if you play into the fantasy aspect of it, no person on the planet should stay in a relationship like that. I don’t care if it will end in a good thing.

Do abuse victims love their abusers? Sure. Does that mean they need to stay with them and be treated like garbage? No. The only real way to be the hero in this type of relationship is to walk away, draw boundaries, and pray that God will change that person.

What About You? Will You Watch Fifty Shades of Grey?