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First Week of Advent

Tomorrow is the first week of the Advent season. Now is the time to think about the coming of the Christ child. During your Christmas preparations, do not forget what the season is about.

What is Advent

Four Sundays before Christmas, you focus on different aspects of the season. You can go HERE for a look at the history of this tradition.

To signify the reflection of each of these weeks, a candle of the Advent wreath is lit each week. A wreath has 3 purple candles, one pink, and one white.

Here is what you can expect from the first week.

Week 1- Advent Prophecy Candle is Lit

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If you attend a church tomorrow that celebrates Advent, the first candle on the wreath will be lit. The first purple candle represents prophecy of the Christ child’s birth.

Isaiah 9:1-7

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This is one of the many times we see in scripture that Christ’s coming was foretold. In verse 6, it says that a child will be born and the government will be on his shoulders. He will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God. He will also be called Prince of Peace and Eternal Father.

Verse 7 goes on to tell us that he will have power that is incredible. He will reign as King forever and ever without end. The people did not know who He would be or when He would come. They had faith that God would fulfill this prophecy.

Luke 1:30-33

The time has come for the prophecy to be shared again. This time it is much more imminent. In this passage, we see the Angel talking with Mary. She was to become the mother of the promised child. The child that we read about in Isaiah.

The Angel tells her that He will reign over the house of Jacob forever; His kingdom will have no end. The Angel tells her that Christ will be called the Son of the Most High.

Time to Get Excited About the Coming of Christ

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Each week of Advent builds up to the fulfillment of the prophecy we read about in Isaiah and Luke. As every day passes, you can feel the excitement of the coming of Christ.

Take this week to think about how much of an impact the fulfillment of these prophecies had on humankind. You can read the Isaiah and Luke passages.

Be sure to spend to prepare yourself this week for the second week of Advent. Next week the Peace candle will be lit.

If you liked this post, be sure to check out the one I wrote:

Advent Resources

Advent Resources

Why You Need to Admit You Have Needs For Physical Intimacy

Some women have a hard time admitting they have needs for physical intimacy and stimulation. For the individuals that struggle to communicate that feeling, it can be a hindrance to your love life. It is very important that you overcome the shyness you feel in this area so that you can give yourself more freely in intimate moments.

Why Is it Hard to Admit You Have Desires For Physical Intimacy

 

For each woman, the answer to this question will vary. Some have a lot of baggage from abuse that they must get over. Others were brought up in strict homes where sex was a forbidden subject. A lot of women are naturally shy when it comes to their bodies.

Whatever the reason, your need for sex was given to you by God. It is ok to have sexual needs that you want fulfilled. It might make you feel uncomfortable, but once you step outside of that comfort zone, you will find freedom in your love life.

My Struggle With Admitting My Needs

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I think I had a pretty good understanding that sex was a wonderful thing that God gave us to enjoy in marriage. All my life growing up, I was allowed to freely discuss sex with my parents. I didn’t go into my marriage with a lot of questions.

While I had a good  handle on understanding that sexual intimacy was a vital part of marriage, I didn’t want to admit I had needs. Like a lot of women, I was shy about saying I had the need to be with my husband in an intimate setting.

If you know me, then you know I am not a shy person at all. I’m actually really good at speaking my mind. That is why I felt even more embarrassed that I had a hard time telling my husband I wanted to have sex.

 

I Would Wait For My Husband to Approach Me

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On the days that I was really in the mood, I would just hope that my husband would approach me for intimacy. When we were first married, I could count on him coming to me most nights.

As the years passed, things changed in our marriage. My husband wasn’t coming to me as often as he did when we first got married. It was then that I realized my sexual appetite had grown over the years.

There were days I really needed intimate time with my husband, but was too embarrassed to come right out and say it. I would try to hint around and hope he would understand what I was saying.

I’m not good at beating around the bush, and I usually come right out and say what is on my mind. For that reason, Austin didn’t usually pick up on my hints. It was hurting my sex life that when it came to admitting I wanted sex, I really struggled to say it.

 

What I Did to Change

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My sex life was suffering because I wouldn’t pursue my husband when I needed him. I was sexually frustrated and he didn’t think that I really wanted to have sex with him. It was in the best interest of both of us that I move outside of my comfort zone and initiate sex.

I worked hard to change my mindset about intimacy. During the day, I would do what it took to get myself in the mood. This would help me to initiate sex more in the evenings. If I was in the mood, I wouldn’t go to bed as easily without having an intimate encounter.

You can go HERE to read what I do to mentally prepare myself for sex.

 

Feeling Freedom in My Love Life

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It was really freeing to admit my sexual needs. I’m not in control of our sex life or anything, but I am very proactive now. It has brought great benefits to my marriage to take an active role.

On the flip side of things, my husband has taken a more active role in dating me. For a long time, I was the only one that planned dates. It really bothered me that he was not more involved.

Over the last few years, he has taken an active role. I think some of it has to do with me taking an active role in our physical affection. It gives him the ability to focus on more than just sex.

If you are in a marriage where your spouse has a high sex drive, I hope that you will work toward being more proactive. Don’t think about it being just for them. Instead, think about how it will benefit you both.
If you are not initiating sex with your spouse, then you should really reconsider that. It will really boost your spouse’s self-esteem if you pursue them sexually. Not only that, it will boost your own self-esteem as you gain confidence in your sexuality.

How to Cook a Turkey

We are getting ready for Thanksgiving dinner around here. I love going into the holidays and getting a chance to make foods that we save for this time of year. In fact, my oldest son asked me the other day if I was going to make Gopher Balls soon. I’ll post that recipe as soon as I make it. You best bet that is one you don’t want to miss.

How to Cook a Turkey

I really enjoy eating turkey. It is not the traditional meat of choice that I grew up on. We always had ham for both major holidays. However, I try to make a Thanksgiving turkey.

Since I didn’t grow up eating them, it took some time for me to figure out the best way to cook it. Here is how I do it each year.

Ingredients:

Turkey- fully thawed, remove giblets

1 onion

2 carrots

2 celery stalks

1/4 cup olive oil

salt

pepper

garlic

4 tablespoons Weber Gourmet Burger Seasoning (this is my favorite seasoning)

water

How to Prepare the Turkey

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Once you have all of your ingredients, you need to prepare the bird. Put it in a large roasting pan. If you do not have a broiler pan, use a 9×13 glass dish.

Cut the onions into quarters. Cut the celery and carrots in half. Stuff as much of these vegetables inside of the bird as you can. Whatever doesn’t fit, cut into smaller pieces and sprinkle all over the turkey.

Either spray or baste a 1/4 cup of olive oil over the turkey. Sprinkle the top with garlic, salt and pepper to taste. Sprinkle 4 tablespoons of Weber Gourmet Burger Seasoning also.

Fill the pan with 2-3 inches of water. Do not fill all the way to the top. Cover the bird loosely with foil. Bake in the oven according to package directions.

Most of the time you will cook it at 350-375 for 20 minutes per pound. Just check your bird to be sure.

Wait on The Bird

No matter how many years I’ve been cooking turkeys, they never get done when I hope. It always takes more time than what I think it will. What I usually do is get the bird ready the day before. Then I stick it in the oven first thing in the morning. That way, we have a better chance of it being done before the end of the day.

The water will help the bird cook faster. Keep a check on the water and add more if it start to evaporate.

I’ve never gotten a satisfactory answer if it is ok to eat the vegetables that are inside the bird. To be on the safe side, we just throw it out. I know that isn’t frugal, but I’d rather not get sick.

 

Hope you enjoy your day with your family.

Tips On How a Woman Can Achieve Physical Pleasure

True phyiscal intimacy with your spouse is connecting with each other all types of levels. Sharing life together through experiences, talking, and physical expression all make up intimacy. A lot of women have a hard time having orgasms, even when they are connected with their loved on. This can be a huge frustration to one or both partners in the marriage. While I cannot guarantee that my advice will help a woman experience physical bliss, I can offer a bit of advice that may help.

 

Tips on How to Achieve Physical Pleasure

 

Decide ahead of time what methods you would like to start with. You can do direct clitoral stimulation or intercourse. I suggest you use a lubrication no matter if you are going with manual stimulation or intercourse.

Read my article HERE about how to be mentally prepared for climax.

 

Guide Your Husband

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Tell your husband to start off slow. While he is pleasing you, think about what he is doing. You must be in tune to what is going on. If something feels good, moan. If it doesn’t feel good, tell him to try something else. It can be as simple as saying, “go softer”, “keep doing that”, “do this instead”.

Guide your spouse as much as you can. Do not feel discouraged if it is taking a long time. It can take an hour or more for you to reach bliss on your first time.

 

Keep Your Mind on What You Are Doing

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While you are being pleasured, keep your mind focused on what is going on. We ladies are known for multitasking. This is a time when you have to keep your head in the game.

Looking at what he is doing can help you keep your mind where it needs to be. Use a mirror if you can’t see what is going on. This will also give you pure things to think about when you are being intimate in the future.

Thinking about sexual acts is very stimulating. For the Godly man and woman, thinking about sex acts that happen between each other is not sinful. However, entertaining visions that are not of one another can be very damaging.

 

Make Noises and Use Your Words

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This may not feel comfortable, but it is important that you make noise. Whether you moan or talk, you should react vocally. I do not know the science behind why this works, but it does.

You will reach a point when moaning will help you more than talking. If you are worried that children or others will hear you, whisper moan, but make sure you are expressing yourself vocally.

 

Point Your Toes and Arch Your Back

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Often times, when something feels good, you will naturally point your toes or arch your back. When you do this, it can help intensify what your spouse is doing. You do not have to wait for your body to do this naturally, go ahead and help yourself out.

 

Take Deep Breaths

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Be sure you are breathing while you have sex. When you take deep breaths, you are sending oxygen throughout your body. You need good blood flow to your erogenous zones in order to climax. Intentionally breath in and out as much as you can.

 

Feel Like the Sexy Woman You Are

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There is nothing wrong with looking sexy for your husband. I’m not suggesting that you go out in public and act or dress sexy. When you are in the bedroom with your spouse, that is a different story.

Even a reserved woman can feel sexy about her body when in the presence of her spouse. Feeling sexy will help you reach orgasm.

When your husband is doing something that feels good, own it. Tell him that it feels good. Think it in your mind. This is part of the process of reaching climax.

 

For you to reach bliss, you have to decide you want to be pleased. Then you have to let your husband please you. It might feel uncomfortable at first, but it is worth it.

 

 

How a Woman Can Prepare Herself to Reach Physical Bliss

A lot of women have a difficult time achieving the ultimate physical pleasure. The good news is that you are capable of reaching the height of physical intimacy. Some ladies need more mental preparation than others. It takes overcoming mental challenges in order to reach bliss.

 

Admit That You Want to Be Aroused and Reach Bliss

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Often times, a woman has a hard time admitting their need for sexual pleasure. There are a lot of reasons that you might not be willing to say you want your husband to please you.

Have you dealt with sexual abuse in your past? This can be a huge road block for letting go during intercourse. Sexual abuse victims are conditioned to feel bad about their bodies responses to sexual stimulation. If this is something you have dealt with, it could be keeping you from experiencing an orgasm.

Not to sound stereotypical, but a lot of times, women are more shy when it comes to their bodies. Do you feel embarrassed talking about sex, even with your spouse? If you have a hard time discussing sex, then it will affect your ability to climax.

 

Some women have a hard time talking about romance because of a strict religious upbringing. If you have spent any time on my blog at all, you will know that I love God and am a follower of Jesus. However, I will not ignore the fact that there are a lot of people that think talking about sex is wrong, even in the context of marriage.

It is important that you first admit to yourself that it is ok to want to orgasm and work toward having one. When you can accept that it is ok to be pleased sexually, you will have a better chance of climax.

Understand What Pleases Your Body

Again, I will generalize that women have a harder time feeling comfortable with their bodies. We do not self explore our genitals the way men do. Even as I write this, I can feel you are cringing at the thought of touching yourself.

I am not advocating that you take up masturbating. However, I am suggesting that you understand what feels good to you. Self exploration can take place in the presence of your husband.

I feel you cringing again. Stop. This is what I mean when I say women have a harder time admitting they want pleasure. Our first instincts are to conceal, don’t feel…especially if we have sexual baggage.

In order to climax, it is important that you know what feels good. You must be willing to guide your husband with your words or your hands. If you are in a trusting and loving relationship, he will want to do this for you.

Figure Out When You are Most Aroused

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There are certain times during the month that your body is naturally aroused. It has to do with your period cycle. Your body wants you to fertilize the egg inside of you.

There is a short window in the month that you will feel aroused without trying. Mark those days on your calendar and try to figure out the pattern. Shoot to plan an intimate night during those days. You have a better chance of climaxing when your body is already there.

Decide if You Are Ok With Direct Stimulation

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Not everyone lady will be ok with direct clitoral stimulation. The first time you orgasm, this might be exactly what it takes. A lot of woman can not achieve climax without direct stimulation.

If you do not feel comfortable touching your own cliterous, then I am guessing you will have a hard time letting your husband. God designed your body to feel pleasure from that spot, and it is ok that you feel good when you are touched there.

Your husband can either use his hands, mouth, or a vibrator to stimulate this area. If you aren’t comfortable with one of those methods, that is ok. You must decide what you are comfortable with and go for it.

Talk To Your Husband 

Talk to your husband about your desires and expectations ahead of time. Admit to him that you want him to sexually please you. Tell him what you would like to try in order to achieve that.

Also, you will need to talk with him during intercourse or manual stimulation about what feels good. Do not be afraid to tell him to stop doing something or start doing something different. Keep a kind attitude and he will be happy to help you.

Get Yourself in The Mood

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It takes us ladies a lot longer to get in the mood than it does our men. There are a lot of things you can do during the day that will get you excited about lovemaking. Go HERE and read my article on practical ways of becoming sexually aroused.

Make a Plan For a Night of Romance

For most ladies, it takes a lot to have their first orgasm. Even the ones you have thereafter will take concerted effort. If you are tired or pressed for time, it will cause you to not feel distracted during intercourse.

Take the time to plan a night of romance. Set it up a few days in advance. You can go HERE and read my suggestions on how to plan for a romantic night.

Let Anticipation Build Up For a Few Days

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The longer you feel sexually stimulated before you attempt to achieve climax, the more likely you will be successful. Plan your romantic encounter a few days in advance. Agree with your husband to stay celibate for those few days.

Be sure you build anticipation about your night together. Intentionally think about the sex life you share with your spouse. Flirt hard with each other during those days. Let the anticipation build up so that you are ready.


This can be a wonderful time that you and your spouse feel connected. Be willing to take the journey with him to figure out what makes you feel the best.

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15 Beans and Rice Recipe

How to Make 15 Beans Into an Amazing Meal

It has taken some time for us to get to this point, but we eat beans every single week. At the start of my marriage, Austin didn’t care for beans that much, unless it was baked beans. Over the years, our budget has forced both of us to learn to love recipes that consist of beans. Now, everyone in our family looks forward to the meals I make using this simple ingredient.

Ingredients For the Recipe:

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Each week, I make a large pot of beans. All throughout the week, we use what I’ve made in other recipes. The first night, I make it like you would pinto beans and we eat it over rice.

1 small bag of 15 bean soup

1 cup kidney beans

1 cup black beans

1 cup chickpeas

1 cup pinto beans

1 large onion

3 Tablespoons Weber Gourmet Burger seasoning

2 Tablespoons Soul Food Seasoning

1 Tablespoon McCormick Southwest Seasoning

1/2 Tablespoon garlic

5 slices of lunch meat ham (optional)

1 Tablespoon Olive Oil to saute’ onions

Water to cover the beans

 How to Start The Beans 

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Cut the onion into small pieces and saute’ in olive oil. If you are using ham, add that in at this point. The recipe tastes great without meat. I know some people can’t stand the thought of not having meat in a meal.

Once onions are tender and ham is cooked, add all of the beans. Fill the pot with water and cover beans fully with an extra 2 inches of water. Add in all of the spices. The spices I have pictured under the ingredients list are the top of my arsenal of spices.

In particular, I’m fond of the Weber seasoning. If you do not have all the spices listed, then use what you have on hand. Chili powder and cumin can be used in place of any of the spices.

Cumin is spicy, so it is important that you keep that in mind when replacing other spices with it. I’d suggest you use no more than 1/2 a tablespoon in the pot.

How to Cook The Recipe

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Turn the burner up to high and bring pot to a boil. Cover the pot and turn down to just above medium heat. It takes about 2-3 hours to cook the recipe in full.

When you cook it in a pot, you have to keep a close eye on it. I’ve burned up more pots of beans than I care to admit. When I’m making this recipe, I have to add water to the pot at least three or four times.

I like for my beans to be thick and not liquidy. In order to do that, I add just enough water at a time to keep the beans covered as they expand. This way, the water will always evaporate out. It is a fine balance I strike between not too wet and not too dry.

What to Serve it With

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Once my beans are the way I like them, I serve it over rice. Since I do not eat a lot of carbohydrates, I eat mine without the rice. Sometimes I make a salad out of it. I put down a bed of lettuce, add beans, cheese, sour cream, and salsa.

You can eat this recipe anyway you choose. It is best that you experiment with your tastes. You may find that the seasonings I have listed are not what you like. It could be you need to add more or take some away.

Good luck. If you make it, let me know how it turns out for you.

 

 

 

Why I Write About Recipes and Crafts on a Marriage and Romance Blog

Why I Write About Recipes and Food on a Marriage Blog

If you have taken a look over my posts, you’ll see that I focus my topics on sex and marriage. Other times I write about recipes or DIY crafts. In a internet full of niche’ blogs, you might wonder why I bother with anything other than marriage and sexual intimacy.

A Good Marriage Is More Than Just Good Sex

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Aren’t there other blogs that you can read that post recipes or crafts? Sure, there are plenty of great recipes on the internet. Of course you can find someone else who is doing just as good a job of blogging about projects.

On a blog that talks about marriage, you should see that there is much more to it than having a good sex life. If all you ever see from me is how to have better or more intimate sex, then I’m doing you a disservice. A good sex life comes from doing life with your partner.

Build Your Relationship By Checking Off Your To-do’s

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Wouldn’t it be nice if we could spend all day long laying in bed in our lover’s arms? Maybe a day or two of that, but you have to go back to life at some point. That means cooking dinner, going to the grocery store and helping out with homework.

All of us have a to-do list of things that need to be accomplished each day. Instead of looking at the tasks you do as one isolated event, consider seeing your life as a whole. Every task or to-do is part of being married and loving your partner.

Accomplish Your Tasks With Your Marriage in Mind

By going to work, taking care of children, or cleaning up after a sick pet is part of your marriage. Taking care of one another and our families through tasks is what it means to be in a relationship.

I love my husband in a tremendous way. Part of showing him that love is how I take care of our home. Cooking dinner each night is a labor of love. Helping the kids with homework and projects is another way to show my husband how much I care about him.

We both go to work everyday with one thing in mind, each other. He does not go to work so he can get away from me. He works because he wants to provide for our family. He shows me he loves me when he does dishes or takes out the trash.

Marriage is Destroyed When Tasks Are Not Shared

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The mundane tasks in life can build your marriage or destroy it. Think of how much it frustrates you when your spouse does not help out around the house or with other tasks. If your spouse is not doing as much as you feel they should, it affects you negatively.

Negotiating housework, job obligations, and parenting is what makes relationships tough. You and your partner should talk about expectations and be willing to change. When you have expectations that are not met, it is the start of destruction in the marriage.

You would be wrong to think that the way you handle your chore list doesn’t affect your sex life.

Sexual Intimacy Starts Before You Get in the Bedroom

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There is a difference between sex that feels good and sex that makes you one with your husband or wife. Before you can enjoy an intimate sexual experience, you have to build your relationship. The way you handle your tasks and responsibilities has a lot to do with intimacy.

Show Love To Your Spouse By Accomplishing Tasks

Have you ever walked in a room and saw you spouse doing a chore that is normally yours? If you have experienced this, then you’ll know you feel loved. Maybe you have watched your spouse love on your children. It is heart warming to see any parent love the children, in particular your partner.

You can fill your partner’s heart with love by doing simple things for them. Let’s be honest, doing the dishes is not just for your spouse. It is for you and everyone in your family. However, if your spouse is the one that does dishes in general, they will greatly appreciate having a break from it.

Doing Life Together Makes You Close

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When you got married to that handsome man or beautiful woman, you were committing to doing life together. Years down the road, it can seem like you are doing anything but life together. Instead of  looking at what you do as separate, think of doing it as a team.

Take a Team Approach to Life

When you and your partner take the team approach to life, you will feel more connected. Instead of labeling a task as being the sole responsibility of just one, make it the responsibility of whoever sees that it needs to be done.

Keeping score in a relationship can get you in trouble. Isn’t it funny how it can start with chores. You keep track of how many times you did dishes this week or helped the kids with homework next to the production of your spouse.

Instead of keeping score of how much more you do than your loved one, look at it from a team perspective. Think of how much you got accomplished in a week together.

 

What do you think it takes to build an intimate relationship with the one you love?

 

How to Dress Like Maleficent

How to Dress Like Maleficent for Halloween

Last weekend I needed a costume idea for a children’s harvest festival. Since I was planning to face paint, I chose a Disney character. Sleeping Beauty is my favorite princess movie.

 

How to Dress Like Maleficent For Halloween

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You will need an all black outfit. Look at scenes from the new movie to get inspiration. It just so happened that I happened to have a long black dress. I also have a black wrap that looks a lot like a cape.

I paired the outfit with a black collard button up shirt. I did this to make it look as if my cape had a collar. For the shoes, I just put on a pair of black slipon shoes. You can’t see Angelina Jolie’s feet in the movie.

How to Make the Horns For the DIY Costume

The biggest challenge to dressing like this character is the horns. It took me some time to figure out what to do. There are some simple ways to do this.

You can cut the horns out of a piece of cardboard. Paint the cardboard black. Staples the horns to a black headband. Put the headband around your head with the horns at the back of your head.

What I did to Make My Horns

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I did not want to have flat looking horns. For that reason, I did something much more extravagant. Pretty much that is what I tend to do.

To begin with, you will need a piece of thick foam. I used the lid to a foam cooler. Draw the shape of the horns and cut the foam out. Wrap the foam horns in black material. Use straight pins to push the cloth into the foam.

I attached my foam horns to a plastic insert that came from one of my children’s construction hats. I don’t know what you can use in place of this. I tried to use a headband, but the horns were too heavy. You might be able to retrofit a hat you own. Just take the bill off of it.

After I put the horns on my head, I took another piece of black material to wrap around my hair. I wrapped my hair with the cloth first and then put the horns over it. It took some doing, but I wrapped the cloth around my head to look like a cap.

Once my hair was wrapped in the cloth. I attached a triangle shaped piece of cloth to the front. This gave the right look to the horns.

How to Do Makeup For Maleficent Halloween Costume

I’m not the best maekup artist by far. In fact, I do not own a lot of makeup either. In order to do my makeup for this character, I watched a youtube video tutorial. You can see the tutorial I used HERE. She did a really good job in the video. I do not think my makeup looked as pretty as her makeup did.

Good luck on dressing like this story book character.  This made for  great DIY costume for Halloween.