Some women have a hard time admitting they have needs for physical intimacy and stimulation. For the individuals that struggle to communicate that feeling, it can be a hindrance to your love life. It is very important that you overcome the shyness you feel in this area so that you can give yourself more freely in intimate moments.
Why Is it Hard to Admit You Have Desires For Physical Intimacy
For each woman, the answer to this question will vary. Some have a lot of baggage from abuse that they must get over. Others were brought up in strict homes where sex was a forbidden subject. A lot of women are naturally shy when it comes to their bodies.
Whatever the reason, your need for sex was given to you by God. It is ok to have sexual needs that you want fulfilled. It might make you feel uncomfortable, but once you step outside of that comfort zone, you will find freedom in your love life.
My Struggle With Admitting My Needs
I think I had a pretty good understanding that sex was a wonderful thing that God gave us to enjoy in marriage. All my life growing up, I was allowed to freely discuss sex with my parents. I didn’t go into my marriage with a lot of questions.
While I had a good handle on understanding that sexual intimacy was a vital part of marriage, I didn’t want to admit I had needs. Like a lot of women, I was shy about saying I had the need to be with my husband in an intimate setting.
If you know me, then you know I am not a shy person at all. I’m actually really good at speaking my mind. That is why I felt even more embarrassed that I had a hard time telling my husband I wanted to have sex.
I Would Wait For My Husband to Approach Me
On the days that I was really in the mood, I would just hope that my husband would approach me for intimacy. When we were first married, I could count on him coming to me most nights.
As the years passed, things changed in our marriage. My husband wasn’t coming to me as often as he did when we first got married. It was then that I realized my sexual appetite had grown over the years.
There were days I really needed intimate time with my husband, but was too embarrassed to come right out and say it. I would try to hint around and hope he would understand what I was saying.
I’m not good at beating around the bush, and I usually come right out and say what is on my mind. For that reason, Austin didn’t usually pick up on my hints. It was hurting my sex life that when it came to admitting I wanted sex, I really struggled to say it.
What I Did to Change
My sex life was suffering because I wouldn’t pursue my husband when I needed him. I was sexually frustrated and he didn’t think that I really wanted to have sex with him. It was in the best interest of both of us that I move outside of my comfort zone and initiate sex.
I worked hard to change my mindset about intimacy. During the day, I would do what it took to get myself in the mood. This would help me to initiate sex more in the evenings. If I was in the mood, I wouldn’t go to bed as easily without having an intimate encounter.
You can go HERE to read what I do to mentally prepare myself for sex.
Feeling Freedom in My Love Life
It was really freeing to admit my sexual needs. I’m not in control of our sex life or anything, but I am very proactive now. It has brought great benefits to my marriage to take an active role.
On the flip side of things, my husband has taken a more active role in dating me. For a long time, I was the only one that planned dates. It really bothered me that he was not more involved.
Over the last few years, he has taken an active role. I think some of it has to do with me taking an active role in our physical affection. It gives him the ability to focus on more than just sex.
If you are in a marriage where your spouse has a high sex drive, I hope that you will work toward being more proactive. Don’t think about it being just for them. Instead, think about how it will benefit you both.
If you are not initiating sex with your spouse, then you should really reconsider that. It will really boost your spouse’s self-esteem if you pursue them sexually. Not only that, it will boost your own self-esteem as you gain confidence in your sexuality.