I get it- I do. The thought of porn absolutely sickens me. No longer is this a habit that was once something you had to go out of your way for. Now it’s in your face whether you like it or not.
I believe that porn is destroying marriages, romantic relationships and hurts those that use it. I HATE porn!
Understanding this idea that porn is destroying marriages, I think that it is imperative that we stop using the rise of porn as a reason to not be adventurous in bed. Many women and men out there are so scared to try anything new because they are worried it will resemble porn.
Of course, there are plenty of things depicted that you should stay away from, but does that mean you can’t try anything that is done on screen?
God Created Sex For Us to Enjoy It
Let’s get one thing straight here, God created sex. He designed it for us as married people, to connect with, and unite with one another. It is a symbol of us becoming one person by joining together physically.
Satan Always Corrupts What God Intended For Good
Sex is a good thing that was given to us by a loving God. The problem is, Satan has worked to corrupt this gift, just like he has done with other things that God gave us.
Porn is a corruption of the pure and holy thing that we were given. Does that make every foreplay move and sexual act in porn a bad thing? NO!
Porn Tells You Sex is All About You
Here’s the thing about porn- it is all selfish. When you watch it, you are being selfish. You are saying that the purpose of sex is all about you and your gratification.
The other thing about porn is that it depicts selfishness as well. One actor (usually the man) is doing everything he can for his own pleasure, with no regard for his partner’s satisfaction.
Physical union isn’t supposed to be selfish. If the entire reason you are having sex is to focus on your pleasure alone- then you are missing out on the gift God gave us.
You Can Have an Adventurous Sex Life With Your Spouse
Don’t let what porn has done to sex distort the freedom you have with your lover. Just because a sexual act or foreplay idea is seen on the screen doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy it with your spouse. You are not corrupting your marriage bed because you and your spouse did something that actors took part in.
If that is the case, then we should just stop having sex altogether, because other people have corrupted it. And if we keep following that same logic, then we have to abandon all things that are good and holy because of what society has done to it.
Worship God Through Your Love Life
When you are thinking about trying new things in the bedroom with your spouse, ask yourself if what you are doing is honoring God. It isn’t honoring Him to mistreat your spouse or be mistreated by them. If they want to do something that degrades or abuses- then say no.
Also, it isn’t honoring to God for either you or your spouse to make sex all about yourself. That is not to say that you can’t have times when you accept sexual pleasure without giving it, but your whole love life cannot be one-sided. Both people should be giving and receiving during your time together.
Don’t let what this world has done to the good things God gave us hold you back from being adventurous. Explore your spouse and enjoy them in bed. But make sure to honor God through your love-making.
Just so you know- these are my thoughts on porn.
Not Everyone is Doing it- Stop Believing the Lies That Porn is Healthy
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4 comments
George
Not all porn is bad. Some porn depicts loving sensual and sexual acts (for example, kama sutra).
I enjoy watching cunnilingus porn to learn different techniques, and see how different women respond differently. I was resistant to perform it, because of my inhibitions to the smells and fluids. Porn helped to overcome those inhibitions and enjoy the experience of giving my service to and pleasing my wife. The less inhibited I feel the more we both can enjoy it.
Porn also provides an opportunity to explore sexual fantasies in a (relatively) private and safe way.
However, porn does lead some to over come inhibitions that lead to harmful sexual behaviors and become addicted to it. Use porn to explore your sexuality and your thoughts about sexual relationships, but don’t let it use you.
Keelie Reason
Thanks for sharing your perspective. I believe porn is wrong, even if it had a positive outcome for you. Beyond what it can do to an individual watching it, there’s a lot of abuse happening in the industry and not everyone you see on screen is a willing participant. I can’t personally support porn on any front.
Dan
It would have taken me 1500+ words to say much the same. I wish I could be as succinct as you always are but seem to never be able. It is His gift to us. It has been and will continue to be corrupted, but that doesn’t mean we should feel shame or guilt over it or dismiss it from our lives.
I would also point out that before porn was “porn,” these ideas and depictions shown were in the head of someone who had not seen them on the screen, artwork or written. 2500 years ago or more maybe someone thought “I wonder if “this” would feel good?” Hadn’t seen or heard it from someplace else. (I’ll stipulate that it was most likely a man, ladies.) It just popped into his head like putting salt on meat to preserve it. Who’da thunk it?
Point being, when your partner comes up with something new and different, don’t immediately attribute it to them watching porn and dismiss it as “of the devil and evil.” That may not be the source. It may just be a bad idea that you try a few times that doesn’t make the play list. But then again, who knows until you try?
Keelie Reason
Agreed Dan, the ideas of come from somewhere. A lot of people get ideas from what I write and what you write, but there’s not as much stigma to that then there is porn.