Are you feeling like the romance is deflated in your marriage? I know that it is a huge problem for people that read my blog. They have been married for a few years, and have lost those butterflies in their stomach.
Just because you and your spouse’s relationship has changed, doesn’t mean you can still be romantic. I asked Jess Hargraves to share with us a few of her best tips for bringing romance back to your relationship.
Here’s what she has to say-
You’ve probably heard this before, or are even experiencing it, but life can take a toll on your relationship. Sometimes, the two people forget that they were once so consumed by one another that the love slowly dies. The good thing? This doesn’t have to be your marriage.
No one goes into a marriage believing it’ll ever end. No one foresees a divorce – and if they do, they really shouldn’t be signing their name on the marriage certificate in the first place!
Marriage Can Become Boring
When you’ve been married for some time, it’s bound to get a little rhythmic, routinely. The honeymoon period of the marriage lasts for months for some couples. For others, it doesn’t take long to get back into the rut you were in.
It’s normal to ask where the adventure of falling in love went. Finding the strength and the time to put the love, the adventure and the passion back into your marriage will be challenging.
Day to day life can make it really easy to fall off the track of your marriage and get distracted.
Where Did The Romance Go?
Romance can get lost over time if you let it. To really have that desire for your spouse, you have to cultivate it every single day. You might find yourself daydreaming about a new relationship or getting lost in fiction fantasies. That isn’t healthy for your marriage. Instead of losing yourself in thought, start making romance a priority in your relationship again.
Here are a few tips to help you put the romance back in your marriage
Visit a Special Place
Go back to a place where you first met, or a place that has significance to you. Pick somewhere that holds a special meaning for both of you.
If you don’t have the ability to go back to a place you hold dear, then create new placed. Consider spending a night together camping. Give your spouse with the best camping gifts as a way of making the time even more special.
Watch A Movie From Your Dating Years
Want to get nostalgic with each other? Watch a movie that you saw together while you were dating. Maybe there is a particular movie that sticks out in your mind. One of the movies that meant the most to my husband and I is Finding Nemo. We actually saw it on our honeymoon.
Get Away For a Date Night
I suggest you make date night a priority. Why not plan a surprise night away for your spouse and don’t tell them where you are going. They don’t have to know that you’ve spent months creating a plan for the two of you to have a night or two alone.
If you have the ability to do an overnighter, book a cottage somewhere beautiful Don’t fill your weekend away with more distractions from each other if you can help it. The whole idea of getting away alone is to spend time together, not with anyone else.
Learn to Be Friends Again
One of the first reasons that people fall out of love is because they forget to be friends. They get so busy relying on each other for financial support, parental support and housekeeping, that they forget to be silly.
You were friends before you were in love, and that time of discovering what makes the other person happy doesn’t have to end with a signed marriage license. Have as much fun together as you can. Be silly. Dance in the kitchen while cooking together. Find the fun and you can find the most wonderful adventure.
Do Something Scary
I don’t mean dress up like it’s Halloween and run around shrieking at each other to make each other jump. If you’re used to lazing around at the weekend and sleeping in, it’s time to do something to get your blood pumping. Book a couples skydive.
Maybe you can go on a walking tour of the tallest building nearest to you. Choose a theme park and spend the day on thrill rides. Doing something that makes you feel alive and tingling with excitement is a great way to bond together and have fun, too!
If it’s something you’ve both never done before, all the better. Your adventure could unlock the original spark you had for each other and make you feel happy to be in the same place – that’s the goal.
Break The Routine
In the end, being in rut means you’ve been doing the same things over and over again and are losing the joy within those things. You need to get out of the rut that you are stuck in and breaking through the bored means changing things around and getting out of those routines.
Make Friday nights an indoor date night where all technology is switched off in favour of actual conversation. Break out the board games and snacks and have a competition with each other. Get into each other’s world and explore what you both enjoy. Flip a coin every week so you can decide what to do.
Marriage isn’t simple, nor is it something to be thrown away due to boredom. A rut can be broken, and your marriage can be as exciting as it was in the beginning, it just takes a lot of time and a lot of patience to get you there again. There’s never going to be a good time to reconnect, so make it a priority now.