Have you wanted to be more sensual and feel sexy, but you’re afraid you’ll feel dirty or somehow dishonor God? Maybe you grew up in a home that taught you that desiring sex was wrong or you may have dealt with sexual abuse that has caused you shame. Or you could be a person that just doesn’t naturally explore ways to entice your senses and you shy away from feeling sexy. Whatever is hindering you, I want to give you some reasons why you should do things that are sensual and give you ideas of what you can try.
Is It Ok To Be Sensual?
I think there is this idea that if you are Christian, being sensual is worldly and wrong. I want to address that first to make sure that we are coming at this from a Biblical perspective. The word sensual, by definition, means that you gratify yourself through your senses. This could be through food, physical touch, what you look at, sex, etc.
But, in our culture, the word sensual tends to apply only to cases where people indulge in sexual activities that are not between a married couple. Because of the general connotations of being a sensual person, I’m sure you’re wondering why on earth I’m writing this on a Christian marriage blog. Hear me out. I want you to read the passage of scripture below and we’ll pick this up after you do.
“I am my beloved’s, And his desire is for me. Come, my beloved, let’s go out to the country, let’s spend the night in the villages. Let’s rise early and go to the vineyards; let’s see whether the vine has grown and its buds have opened, and whether the pomegranates have bloomed. There I will give you my love. The mandrakes have given forth fragrance; and over our doors are all delicious fruits, new as well as old, which I have saved for you, my beloved.” Song of Solomon 7:10-13
FYI, this is the bride speaking to her groom in the Song of Solomon…she sounds pretty sensual to me. She’s inviting her husband to take her away for the weekend so they can have sex in the vineyards. But did you also notice that she describes the other senses they will indulge in while they are together? She’s inviting him to see the beauty of the earth, smell the fragrance in the air, and taste of the delicious fruits (I don’t know if this is literal fruit or her vagina, but taste either way).
This passage and many others like it tell me that sensuality is not wrong, but instead, a beautiful gift we have been given to express our passion for our husband or wife.
Sensual Ideas The Increase Intimacy In The Bedroom
Austin and I sat down and put together a list of things you can do to be sensual and feel sexy. Not all of these things are sexual. Remember, sensual means to satisfy yourself through your senses. That can take the form of what you wear, what you look at, the type of touch you experience, and more.
Our goal is to give you things you can add to your life that will awaken your senses and help you be more in tune with your body. When you do any of these things, take time to notice how you feel emotionally and physically. Hone in on the things that bring you pleasure.
Here are the ideas we came up with:
1. Go without underwear.
2. Sleep naked.
3. Burn candles that have a sexy fragrance.
4. Wear a fragrance that smells sexy.
5. Stand in front of a fan and let the air blow on your genitals and/or breasts.
6. Massage your breasts with lotion or massage oil.
7. Massage the inside of your leg where your thigh and pelvic bone meet with a vibrating massager (not your genitals, but the vibrations should still feel good to your genital area).
8. Wear something silky.
9. Put water on your genitals or nipples and blow-dry with a cool hair dryer setting.
10. Look in a mirror while your spouse gives you oral sex.
11. Dance seductively with your spouse to soft music.
12. Cut the lights down low and sit under soft lighting.
11. Let your spouse feed you something sweet.
12. Listen to music that’s soft and sensual.
13. Get naked and wrap yourself in a super soft blanket.
14. Burn enough candles that you can cut off the lights and still see.
15. Buy a fluffy rug to stand on in your bedroom or bathroom.
16. Let your spouse brush your hair or run their fingers through it.
17. Flirt with your spouse and be playful.
18. Wear flavored lip gloss and kiss your spouse or lick your lips.
19. Make it a point to smile even if you’re alone.
20. Make eye contact with your spouse.
21. Get close to your spouse and have quiet conversations like you’re sharing secrets.
22. Let your spouse rub your genital area through your underwear.
23. Decorate your room in a way that feels romantic to you.
24. Spend time talking with your spouse near candlelight or fire.
25. While making out with your spouse, gently lick across their lips.
26. Wear underwear that makes you feel sexy.
27. Put your cheeks together when you hug or sit beside each other.
28. Rub your body against your spouse when you walk by them.
29. Visit a restaurant that has a romantic vibe and eat an indulgent meal.
30. Place fresh flowers around your house.
31. Experience a new flavor pallet with your spouse.
Some of these are sensual bedroom ideas, but others are meant to be done even if your husband or wife is not around. The idea is that you will become more in touch with how you feel so you can enhance your awareness when you are being sexual with your lover.
Being More Sensual Leads To Greater Sexual Pleasure
While being sensual doesn’t have to lead to sexual arousal, it can be a way to enjoy sex more. When you become in tune with your body and the way things make you feel, it will increase your awareness across the board. The more aware you are of how your body reacts to the sexual stimulation of your spouse, the more you will enjoy the experience.
Allowing yourself to indulge and enjoy sites, sounds, tastes, and touch will make you feel freer during times of sexual intimacy with your husband or wife. You can use sensuality to increase intimacy in your marriage. For that reason, I say it’s worth it to do something sensual every day to help build a better sexual relationship with your spouse.